Ｃｏｓｍｉｃ® • Stefan Salvatore

ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ ｅｌｅｖｅｎ

"Missing you comes in waves, Today I'm drowning"

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Ｗａｖｅｓ ｏｆ Ｇｒｉｅｆ

Grief. Grief is like living two lives, One where you pretend everything is okay and the other is where your heart silently screams in agonizing pain. Grief is the price of love, the more you love someone the more it hurts when they're gone. Sometimes happy memories hurt the most, because you know you can't make anymore of them. Grief is not a place to stay, it's the healing after a rough endure. But, the hardest part of healing after losing someone, is recovering the 'you' that left with them.

Samaria

What the hell is wrong with me? Why did I do that? I'd never let anyone call me Sam, not even Tiare calls me that because she knows how much it means to me. So then why the fuck would I let Elena Gilbert of all people call me "Sam"?

I mean she's supposed to be my arch nemesis, but ever since I've gotten to really know her I can't seem to want to hate her. Of course we put our past feuding behind us, but I didn't think that meant we would instantly click and have this amazing connection that I would have loved years ago, had I known.

I want to say I'm just overreacting, but this is kind of freaking me out. I mean why would I let a new friend/past enemy call me a name that sends a wave of despair through my body every time I hear, when I don't even let my best friend, boyfriend, or sister call me that. Tell me, please... I really want to know why I physically could not tell Elena Gilbert no.

The answer is at the tip of my tongue, yet I don't think I'm ready to say it. There is a voice in the back of my head telling me I know why I just don't want to admit it.

I just- ugh...I want to just ignore all of this and Elena and forget anything between us ever happened. But I know I would never forgive myself if I did. I know that I could never ignore the constant pull or the continuous ache to be around her. It's not the overwhelming feeling of happiness I get with Stefan or the feeling of comforting warmth I get with Damon. It's like a silent peaceful bliss, almost like I'm in a paradise world of nothingness.

This is something that I can't explain, and that scares me, because for once I no idea what to do.

.     .    .    .    .

After my almost mental breakdown I've decided to get ready for the party. I put on a thin white spaghetti strapped dress with a simple pearl necklace that match my earrings and bracelet. I tie my hair up in a cute messy bun before spraying on some perfume.