Picking Up The Pieces (Last book to 'Keeping Secrets' and 'Broken')

The Final Chapter

Four Years Later...

"Hey, Norm.." I smile to myself. "I thought I'd drop by, say hey, ask how you've been.. I-"

"Mommy! Mommy, look!" She runs to my side, handing me a Dandelion. "I found this over there!" A big smile is plastered on her tiny face. "I picked it for you, Daddy." She sits it down gently, kisses my cheek, and quickly runs off.

"God, does she look just like you.. from her eyes, to her attitude.." I let a small laugh escape my lips. "I read her the book, your book, the one you wrote for us. I'm glad you were writing again.." I quickly frown. "..why'd you have to leave us?" My breath hitches in my throat and my eyes start to burn. "Everyone keeps telling me that it'll get better, but when? When the hell will I stop feeling like this? My life is hell, do you know that? That child, our child, she's the only thing that keeps me going. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be here right now."

I probably look crazy sitting out here talking to a tombstone, but at this point, I couldn't give less of a fuck.

"I waited and waited and waited for you to call me, for you to stop by, you told me that we were going to start over, we were going to have a new beginning, but your needs got in the way. The drugs and the drinking, it finally caught up to you." I practically spit out those words. "Do you know how they found you? With a needle in your arm. How does that make you feel? You were going to shoot up, but you couldn't even get one more in before you body gave up."

The images from the morgue come crashing in and I can't help but feel sick to my stomach. The way he looked, his body was so blue, he lips were purple and the bags under his eyes were blood red.

"I'm lucky she's here right now, Norman. I drank and drank and drank myself away so many nights.. and when I found out that I was pregnant again, I wanted to abort her, I didn't want her. In fact, I hated her. It wasn't fair that I had to deal with being pregnant alone, it wasn't fair that I had to raise her alone, there should be two parents, not one. And since she has your fucking attitude, she never listens." I laugh loudly through my tears at the fact that she really is just like him.

"Mingus, mommy!" As much as I don't want to leave, her blue eyes are making me weak. "Mingus, mommy! Mingus!"

"She also adores Mingus." I tell him, adding a small giggle. "Five more minutes, Bella, okay?" She nods, rubbing her eyes. "Go back over there, mommy will be there in a minute." I kiss her temple and she runs off. "Mingus picked out her name.. he liked the names that you picked out, so we went with Bella."

"Mommy!" She calls from behind me.

"I'm coming, baby!" I shout back to her. She reaches her tiny hands out, gesturing for me to come to her. "Ryan gave me my job back, and I thanked him highly for weeks. Him and Katherine are perfect together, to be completely honest. I tell them that all of the time, actually.. I love you, Norman, and I miss you like there's No tomorrow.. I really wish you could be here to watch her grow up. Bella is loved by so many people, Norman. Helena, Mingus, Katherine, Ryan, myself, my parents, Jamie, Jeremy, even Nikki. She has so much family to watch out for her, but all she's missing is her daddy.."

"Mommy!" I huff, even though her voice is heaven in my ears. 

"I really miss you, Norm, despite everything that we had been through, despite all of the arguing, the fighting, the drinking, the drugs, the cheating, despite all of that, I wouldn't change any bit of it. You made me who I am today, a strong, loving person, and you've made me the best parent I can be. Your life taught me to never take anything for granted, and to always make sure those people you care about know that you do care for them, and that you love them. I am going to give Bella everything and anything she needs, I will always protect her, I will always tell her about you, and when she's old enough, I'll tell her about how much of a dick you were but how you loved me unconditionally at the end of the day. I will learn to love again, even start a family, but I will never forget how you kissed me, how you made love to me, how much passion and lust, you will forever be mine, and only mine." 

I'm talking to him like he's here with me, and deep down I know he can here me. But, if he were here, my life would be a hell of a lot easier. It's going to be hard raising her, but I'm not really alone. She has so many wonderful people that love her like she was their own. We're going to raise her as one big family, because that's all she need, a family. 

And, of course, I'll find someone who will love me. He will love me, he will cherish me, but he won't be Norman. No one could ever take his place, but he would want me to be happy, he would want me to fall in love again and get married, maybe even have another child, but everyday, when I look into those blue eyes, I'm going to be reminded of him. 

"I might have lost you, but I sure did gain an angel." I smile, kissing my finger tips and placing them onto his picture. "I love you, Norman." 

~

So.. wow.. I'm really upset its over but I knew I was ending it soon, and yes I've had this ending from the very beginning, so don't yell at me. lol I love you guys, and to the ones who have been reading from the first book, thank you, thank you, thank you! 

I am going to go back and re-write all of my Norman books, especially 'We'll Make It Work' because  I was like 14 and didn't know how to write lmao anyways, I will post an A/N when I do go back and re-write this book so you guys can go back and re-read if you'd like. :) 

Thank you for all of the votes and comments! I love you!!(: