Picking Up The Pieces (Last book to 'Keeping Secrets' and 'Broken')

Chapter 10.

*Norman's P.O.V.*

"Do you ever wish she was me?" Her eyes are begging for the answer that I want to give her. "You know what, don't answer that. I don't need to know." She quickly stands up, but fails when she falls back down.

"Lets get you back to the room now, yeah?" I stand up, pulling her with me. She wobbles back and forth. "Put your arms around my neck."

"Wh-what?" She stutters.

"Come on, Danielle." I put her arms around my neck and pick her up bridal style. "Hang on, okay?" Her eyes grab a hold of mine. "Don't do that." I whisper.

"Don't do what?" She wiggles in my arms, trying to get comfortable, I'm guessing.

"That thing with your eyes. You do it all of the time. It.. It drives me crazy." She takes a deep breath and looks away. "But, I like it."

"You never answered my question."

"You told me not to." I give her a smirk, but her face remains serious.

"Since when does Norman Reedus take orders?" She giggles and I shake my head.

"I've become very weak." She smiles. Her eyes start to close and her arms fall slightly from around my neck.

"I'm tired.." She sighs.

"Then go to sleep." She nods and nuzzles her face into my shirt.

"You smell good, you know that?"

"Go to sleep, Danielle."

"Aren't I heavy? I can walk, you know."

"Nope." I press her tightly into me, squeezing her with my arms. "We're here, so just hold on a little tighter."

*

"I need to take a shower." She stands up, taking her shirt off as she begins to walk to the bathroom.

"Danielle, no." I quickly pick her shirt up off the floor. "If you're going to get undressed, please do it in the bathroom where I can't see you."

"You're no fun." She huffs and takes a seat on the side of the tub. "I bet they've been fucking all this time." She giggles. How is she still this drunk?

"Danielle!" I raise my voice. She jumps slightly and I immediately feel horrible. "I'm sorry I-"

"Its okay.. you raise your voice when you're mad, its just apart of who you are." She turns on the faucet and begins to strip again. "If you don't want to see me, I suggest you leave because at this point, I don't give a flying fuck."

"Alright. Call for me if you need anything." She nods and I quickly exit the bathroom.

Where are Katherine and Ryan? I'm going to kill him with my bare hands, if it's the last thing I do. No I won't, I'm going to forget it ever happened, just like I told Danielle. Danielle.. She always seems to get hurt by the people she loves the most. Maybe I shouldn't have started writing this book. I don't need this, she doesn't need this. Us. What we were. It's all gone now and me writing this book isn't doing either of us any justice.

"Norman, I need a towel please." She peaks her head around the corner and flashes a smile. "Please, it gets colder the longer this door is open."

"Sorry." I shuffle around the room, finding a few folded up towels in the closet. "Here." I toss the to her and she catches it with ease. 

"Have you hear anything from them..?" She walks out, still wrapping the towel up under her arms. She frowns and takes a seat next to me on the edge of the bed. 

"Nope. But, to be completely honest, I knew she was seeing someone else. Not that it was Ryan, but it was obvious." I sigh and rub my hands over my scruff. I should shave. 

"I know, I knew something was up with Ryan since he hasn't been able to keep promises lately, plus leaving at all hours of the night, I just.. I should have seen it coming.." A tear rolls down her cheek and she sniffles. "You'd think I'd be able to tell between someone who loves me and someone who's just using me. I mean, I lived with you for how long?" 

"Oh.." I stand from the bed, taking in my guilt. 

"Norman, I didn't-"

"Its okay, Danielle. I know what I did, there's no need in being easy about it." I reassure her with a smile. 

"I'm glad you fixed you." She whispers, a small smile creeping upon her lips. "You never answered my question.." 

"Ms. Harris, you've already told me that once, and I do believe that you told me not to." Her eyes meet mine and they're begging me for so many different things. "No." 

"No?" She questions herself more than she questions me. 

"No." I answer once more. "I never wished she was you." I lie. I can't let her know that I've needed her all of this time. I can't let her go back when she's already taken ten steps forward. She's got a great life ahead of her. Ryan may be out of the picture for now, but that doesn't give me the right to fill in his empty space. 

"I um.. Maybe I should go.." A few tears roll down her cheeks and guilt floods my body like it has for the past three years. "Thanks for carrying me back.." She quickly grabs her clothes, pulling out the room key from her pants pocket. 

"Danielle, I-"

"Please don't." She throws up her hand, begging for me to stop. "This has been a really great vacation, even with my ex lover and his fiancee.." She laughs and shakes her head. ".. when we get home, I would really love for you and your skanky fiancee to stay away from Ryan and I. You will not step foot back into our business again, you will not talk to Ryan, you will not talk to me, and I will not do that stupid fucking book with you! You want to write a book? Cool, go right ahead, but you will not put my name in it. Do you understand me?" Her face is blood red and her pink lips are swollen, making them even more kissable. "Norman!"

"Yes, yes I understand." I nod. "Danielle, I didn't mean to upset you." 

"I really don't care anymore." She whispers, barely audible. "Should have known this would happen.. it always does with you.." She turns around and walks towards the door. 

"Dammit, Danielle!" I shout, pressing my body into hers. Her breath has hitched, her mouth has fallen agape. "Can't you see that we're wrong for one another! We're water and oil, fire and gasoline, dark and light, can't you see that?!" Her eyes melt into mine and its getting harder and harder for me to control myself. 

"Why can't you just accept the fact that we will never have anyone else? We will never want anyone else but one another! No matter how bad we are for one another, I will always want you, and you will always want me! The fighting, the love making, the fucked up shit that we both carry, the drinking, Norman as messed up as that is, I need that to survive! The day I left you, was the day I died.." 

"No, no, no, Danielle, you have something amazing ahead of you. You've got a great education, you've got a great man, you've got an amazing gift as a writer.." I release her from my grip, falling to my knees and wrapping my arms around her waist. "You're going to get married, have babies, grow old, you're going to have something that I mourn for every day." She kneels down with me, taking my face into her hands. 

"What do I have that you don't?" 

"A heart."