The Way She Is

Chapter 15 ~ Lover Dearest

Cadance. 

Picking it up, I opened the message, which was from Pj. But as I read it, I came to realise that nope, it wasn't from him ... But her.

Hey Dan sweetie XD

It appears I left my phone at yours :\

Don't s'pose you could drop it off at mine, hun ;) 

Please, it'd be a big help

Thanks babe!

C xxx 

She needed her phone? I needed a walk, but ... Cadance was bad news. No, Phil you twat, don't leave the apartment.

No.

Don't.

Philip.

Stay where you are.

... I hate you.

~*~

The air was refreshing but had a cold nip as the rain came down in buckets. As I walked, eyes downcast, I took in lung fulls of clean oxygen, and I felt freer than I had in a long while. Rather stupidly though, I'd not taken an umbrella with me so by the time I reached Pj's apartment, where I knew Cadance was staying, I was dripping and somewhat shivery. 

I ran a pale hand through my dishevelled, messy ebony hair and ruffled it, possibly messing it up more, but thankfuly relieving it of the excess water that was snaking down my face.

Pulling the misplaced phone with terrible music on it out of my pocket, I took a breath before commencing the long climb up the stairs. When eventually I reached his door, I felt a bit uneasy. I hadn't thought it through very well, what was I going to say when I got there? Peej wasn't even there, and I didn't want to be alone in her company! 

Finally, I plucked up the courage to knock, hoping Chris was in as well. After a few seconds, I heard the door handle rattle and then the large wooden door was pulled open dramatically ...

"Hey Da- ... Oh, Phil. Where's Dan?" Cadance stood before me in a white button down shirt and shorts. Hardly clothing fit for the season, but then I remembered, she had been expecting Dan. Sighing, I replied in what I'd pictured to be a confident voice. 

"Shopping for camera lenses with Pj, so I thought I'd bring your phone over as I was bored and had nothing else to do." She pursed her lips, as if deciding whether or not I was lying, which I guessed she must've believed me as her emerald eyes ran from my own eyes, down, then back up, before she smiled. 

"You may as well come in, it's kicking up a shit storm out there." Her voice carried an air of finality that I instantly wished to shy away from, almost like if I went in, I wouldn't be coming back out. 

"It's only rain, I'll b-" I tried to protest by reaching out to hand her the phone, but she stepped out of the way and motioned for me to enter. 

"Rain, thunder and lightening! Jesus, Phil, just come in, would you!?" She looked sternly at me, as though she were about to shout.

"Um ... Sorry, okay." My voice dropped in volume as I replied, stepping cautiously over the threshold and into the apartment. As soon as I was inside and she'd closed the door, my eyes flickered over to the door, where within, this whole mess started. Where I just let everything get the better of me ... Where I ruined Dan's life by accidentally making him feel responsible for my welfare. Involuntarily, I shuddered. Goddammit room. 

"I'll make coffee." I turned back, and caught a fleeting glimpse of her skip into the kitchen, then reappear moments later on the other side of the counter. I didn't want to stay. I felt uncomfortably vulnerable with her. 

"That's alright, honest, I don't plan to stay long, I jus-" I began, placing the phone down on the living room table before eyeing the door desperately. 

"Do you hate me? Is that why you can't wait to get away?" She asked. My eyes snapped back to her slumped form. Did she look ... Upset? 

"N ... No! I ... No, I don't 'hate' anyone." I answered truthfully. I disliked a fair few people, but I certainly didn't hate them. Her blonde waves fell over her shoulders and as she looked up pleadingly at me, I could've sworn I'd seen her eyes twinkle with tears. Or maybe it was a trick of the lighting? 

"Then stay, and have some coffee. No hard feelings, right?" As much as I didn't want to, as much as I willed my mouth to say 'No' and my feet to walk me the hell away from her, I simply couldn't, it  just wasn't in my nature to. Unfortunately. 

"Oh, um ... sure." She smiled as I sat down at the table, and as she returned to her coffee making, I couldn't help but get a horrible feeling that it wasn't going to end well ... 

Cadance's P.O.V

Well, that wasn't difficult. Seriously though, I should've been an actress ... I so would've excelled! Dammit! Glancing up as I poured the boiling water into two mugs, I saw Phil looking as though he longed to be anywhere but sitting in that chair at that table in this apartment. Too late now, sweetie... 

Before leaving the kitchen, I took the longest, sharpest knife from the draw and tucked it out of view behind me in my belt strap of my shorts. Walking out with both mugs, I wore that price-winning smile  so many had fallen for. Placing one in front of him, he mumbled a thank you before I sat opposite with my own.

It was quiet and I felt that he'd had long enough, so pushing my mug away from me, I stood once again, not surprised to see Phil not even glance up, he was too caught up in his own damaging thoughts to notice, let alone care, what I was doing. Shame then that those thoughts just weren't damaging enough then, isn't it. 

"How does it feel to know that you ruined Dan's chance of happiness ... With me?" I asked sweetly, attempting to be casual as I walked gracefully around him sat at the dinning room table. His blue eyes snapped up to mine and narrowed menacingly. Pfft, he couldn't even intimidate a puppy!

"I ... He's happy with me. He ... Well, he said so, he told me so himself!" His voice raising in volume slightly before falling back to normal. I raised an eyebrow and chuckled, allowing my perfectly lip-glossed lips to curl into a malicious grin.

"Oh, Phil. Can't you see? He's just being nice. Like a friend." I elongated the word 'friend' and watched him amusedly as he shifted in the chair in which he was sat, hands both resting on the table clutching a steaming mug of coffee. 

"No! He loves me! He does ... he loves me." His voice became brittle and trailed away into incoherent mutterings. He'd cracked. The chance had arisen, and I planned on taking it. With Phil in rehab, I could have Dan back and all to myself! 

"Sweetie, he's only saying that so that you wont hurt yourself. But, he's not here now, and..." Gently, and with care, I lay the knife on the table. His blue eyes instantly locked onto it, a look of desperation mingled with hollow loss swam within them. A cruel smile twisted on my face as I slid the knife slowly toward him, until it was directly in front of him on the table, begging to be used. "...You know, if you have emotions, you should be able to express them..." He eyed the knife with a pitiful longing, that I almost felt bad for willing him to use it. 

In one quick motion, he stood, grabbed the knife from in front of him and stormed from the apartment, slamming the door in his wake. 

"Not even a goodbye?" I laughed chillingly. "Where are your manners, Phil?" Still grinning with malice, I removed both mugs from the table and washed them. Removing all evidence that could place him here in Dan, Chris and Peej's absence. 

I knew what I'd said had struck a nerve.

An insecurity.

Dan was going to come home to what exactly? Well, I'd left that to Phil to decide ...