Forty-Two - Dead Inside
Taeyong's POV
The light shines bright, my eyes slightly opened to see if Taehyung was still here, he is. Why is he still here? He should've went home by now but he didn't. I grabbed my phone and saw his phone next to mines, I turned on his phone to see if anyone was worried that he wasn't home, Jasmine and someone named Jungkook was texting him. I read through the messages, my heart dropped.
6 New Messages From Jasmine
10 New Messages From Jungkook
Jasmine: Taehyung come back!
Jasmine: Please!
Jasmine: I'm worried about you.
Jasmine: Please come back.
Jungkook: Baby..
Jungkook: I'm sorry for what I did!
Jungkook: Please baby..
Jasmine: Are you mad at Jungkook?
Jasmine: Are you mad at me too?
Jungkook: I miss you..
Jungkook: Is this all because of Jimin?!
Jungkook: We didn't do anything I swear!
Jungkook: I love you
Jungkook: Why would I cheat on you?
Jungkook: Come back
Jungkook: I miss you
Did Taehyung misunderstand something? I put down Taehyung's phone before he woke up, I grabbed my phone and began texting Jaehyun, I haven't talked to him in a while. Before I can even text him back I got a call from Jasmine.
Taeyong: Hello?
Jasmine: Taeyong, have you seen Taehyung?!
Taeyong: Why?
Jasmine: Just answer my question!
Taeyong: Yeah I have then.
Jasmine: Did he tell you where he's going?!
Taeyong: No. *Taehyung groans* Sorry I gotta go bye
Jasmine: Wait!
I turned off my phone and looked at him, he looked around and mumbled something. "You okay?" He nodded. "Sorry, I didn't mean to stay the whole night." Something seemed to be really off. "Jasmine called, she was asking about you." "Did you tell her anything!?" "I only told her that you visited me and hung up the call." "Fuck." He got up and headed towards the door. "Sorry I have to go now, I'll visit you later." He opened the door and left.
He was in such a rush that I was confused. My head began to hurt, I laid back down trying to de-stress myself. I reached over to grab my phone, turning on some of my favorite tunes. I placed my phone on my chest and clutched my hands. "Why did I do this to myself..?" My eyes became watery, I want to be healthy again, out in the world doing whatever I want with no worries about my conditions. But here I am in a hospital, I'm my worst self. I did this and now I have to pay a price.
My began breathing intensely, I coughed and coughed. I covered my mouth and continued to cough, I couldn't stop coughing. I lowered my hands and saw drops of blood all over my palms. I wiped my mouth with my sleeve and attempted to get up.
"You should lay back down," Dr Jin closed the door and walked towards me. "I need to wash my hands." "Well what happened?" I looked at my hands and showed it to Dr Jin. He grabbed a napkin and wiped my hands for me, after wiping all the blood he reached out and grabbed sanitizer, which was under the bed side table. "Now you can rest." Dr Jin turned around and walked to the door. "I'm feeling chest pain, it won't go away. It's been hard to breathe for the past couple of days. You are barely doing anything to me! Please help me already! Or even better just let me die off!" You should've seen his face, he was more shocked than I've ever seen him before. He gave me a stern look and slowly walked towards me, "I'm here to help, don't you dare say that you want to die, don't ever to me. What would your family and friends say if you died on them!? Huh!?" "Well, they wouldn't care." Jin gave me another hard look, I just kept a cold face. "It's not like anyone would cry over me, they would forget me even if I was still alive and right now I don't feel alive. I just want to end it all. I don't get how I lived so long, I've considered killing myself so many times but I just didn't have the guts." I looked down at my hands for a few moments then looked back at his eyes. "If you kill me, no one will know because I didn't need you to kill me, I've already killed myself."
He was so speechless. His tried to stay cold but I knew he couldn't handle what I just said. He walked out of the room not saying or doing anything. He closed my door softly and his shadow slowly disappeared.
I'm not crazy, I'm just dying.
