Thirty-four - Anxiety
Taeyong's POV
I opened my eyes as the room was filled with light. My eyes fluttered open as I looked around the room.
"Machines... wires..." I looked at my arm, a liquid was traveling through the wires into my veins. I panicked. Why the hell am I here?!
As I got up I yanked all the wires away from my arm, heading towards the door. As my hand touched the doorknob, someone on the other side opened the door. I jumped back as they did the same.
"Mr. Lee, what are you doing? Why'd you take out all your wires?" Dr. Kim asked as I stood there blankly.
"Why am I here?" I asked coldly, I don't want to be here.
"You passed out of the streets," he said as I panicked. "Your brother brought you in, he's working now so I suggest you stay in bed for a while till he gets here to take you home," I sighed as I walked back to the bed and sat down.
"How come I passed out?" I asked as I looked up at Dr. Kim.
"Your brother said you were running which can cause a lot of pressure to your lungs. You shouldn't run you know that right?" He asked as I just nodded.
Fuck. I should've died a long time ago.
As Dr. Kim sighed as he walked towards the wires I pulled out of my arm.
"We need a nurse to come back in and fix this," I looked at the wires and stared at Dr. Kim.
"What's the point of these wires? It's not like it's going to do anything to me, it's not like it's going to change my conditions!" I yelled as he stared at me.
"We need to monitor your heart," he said which got me pissed.
"To monitor my heart huh? Then why do I need all this bull shit in my arm!" I yelled again as he just stood there silently. "You know what I'm outta here, I don't want to deal with all of this," I said as I got up bit Dr. Kim immediately grabbed my shoulder.
"Who's going to get you home?" He asked as I huffed out of anger.
"Not you. Just leave me alone," I said as I pushed his hand away and walked out of the room.
I walked out of the hospital and grabbed my phone. I saw no messages from her, I felt lonely for some reason. I felt more lonely, more lonely than I ever felt before. As I walked home I coughed, continuously, it soon got on my nerves.
I walked passed a couple people that stared at me like I didn't belong here; ha, of course, I don't belong here.
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As I got close to my apartment, I saw a taxi slow down. I continued to walk but as I passed by the taxi, the taxi honked. I looked over and gave them a cold look. As they rolled down the window I walked over to them, with a cold look plastered on my face.
"What?" I said as the window was halfway down.
"Taeyong.. are you doing okay?" As I recognized the voice I stumbled back.
"Donghyuck?" I said as I scrunched up my brows, giving a confused look.
"Yeah, that's me, but are you okay?" He asked with such concern towards his voice.
"Yeah, I'm fine. If you don't mind I'll be walking home," I said as I turned and walked away.
"Wait!" He yelled as I turned around and walked towards him. "I'll drive you home," he said as I just stood there, I shouldn't take his offer.
"Okay, but I don't have money with me," shit.
"No charge," he said as I got into the taxi.
"Thanks, Donghyuck," I said as I looked down at my hands.
As he drove me home, I didn't know if I should tell him.
Taeyong, don't tell him.
"Donghyuck," I said, he hummed in response.
Taeyong, don't you dare say it.
"Promise me that you won't tell anyone this."
"I won't, I promise," he said, still looking at the road.
As we went into the parking lot of my apartment complex, he stopped the car and turned towards me.
"I um... I don't know how to say this but.." I didn't know how to tell him that I had cancer. "I know that we aren't the closest friends but I trust you a lot and um," I paused and looked at my hands.
"Just tell me, it's not like I'm gonna judge you," he said as he looked at me with a small smirk.
"You might," I said as I looked outside.
"C'mon just say it already!"
"I have lung cancer.." I said. I was suddenly embarrassed. I opened the door and stepped one foot outside.
"Wait, what? How did you get lung cancer?" He asked as I turned towards him as tears gathered together in my eyes.
"I smoked every time I was stressed," he gasped, I've never told anyone that I smoked.
"You smoke? I didn't know you were this kind of person"
"I'm not, it's just hard to be stress-free," he nodded, I got out of the car and closed the door. As the window rolled down, I looked at Donghyuck as he smiled awkwardly.
"I guess I'll see you later Donghyuck," I said as I turned around and walked away.
"Taeyong," he said. I turned around and saw him smile. "Just call me Haechan," I never thought he would let me say that he's never let anyone say that after years of leaving the gang.
"Okay," I smiled. "See ya Haechan," I said, he smile and drove away.
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As I walked into my room I sat down on the couch; thinking. My mind was worried about cancer.
How fast will it spread?
What if I die tomorrow?
Will this hurt Jasmine?
Will she be hurt?
Will she not care about me being gone?
Will she care?
My mind was full of Jasmine. But would she care if I died? Would she even care about me?
She wouldn't.
As I laid down on the couch I couldn't stop thinking about her. Why does she mean everything to me? I thought I hated her, but clearly, my kind is full of something else.
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I checked the time and saw that it was 11 pm. I'm tired but I can't sleep. I'm hungry but I can't eat. She makes me suffer from a distance.
She's making me like this.
She's giving me anxiety.
Jasmine.. please come back and save me...
