Jessica wanted music to be played at her son's funeral. She knew he would love it, and was dancing and was wiggling his chunky butt up in Heaven.
Before Simba's casket was closed, Jessica placed a picture inside for him to have. It was a picture Sam had taken of the four of them at the hospital.
They too had a copy of it to cherish forever.
Autumn of course kept her promise and gave him one her stuffed Simba's. Now they both had one.
Burying their son was the hardest thing Danny and Jessica have ever done.
Jessica was unconsolable. Screaming at the top of her lungs as they put her baby boy in his final resting place.
Jessica's parents and Danny did everything to calm her down, fearing she would make herself sick. But nothing worked. She wanted her son and there was nothing in the world she or anyone else could do that would bring him back.
Sam took Autumn home shortly after the burial. Seeing Jessica so upset was making Autumn even more upset than she already was.
Everyone has left the cemetery. Danny and Jessica's parents stood by the cars watching as Jessica sat there sobbing in front of a pile of dirt that laid on top of her son.
Danny sat beside her and placed his hand on her back.
He kissed the back of her head but she quickly hit him away.
"Don't you fucking touch me!"
"What?"
"This is your fault! You didn't want him! You said horrible things about him when I first told you I was pregnant! Well are you happy now, Daniel? He's dead! You got your wish." Jessica looked at him with hatred.
"Jessica, I would never wish this! You know that I am just as upset as you are-"
"No! No one is as upset as I am! I am the one that held him for nine months! I am the one that loved him since day one! I am the one who got sick, stayed up late at night feeling him move, peeing every five minutes! I had him inside of me for thirty eight weeks..... I gave birth to all eight pounds of him.. I am his mommy.. no one is as hurt as I am."
"I'm sorry.. but I need you to know that this isn't what I wanted. If I could trade places with him I would. I love him so much." Danny says with tears rolling down his face.
"He's my son.. and knowing all of the things he'll never do.. Jessica, it tears me apart! The things I said, I will NEVER EVER forgive myself. Ever."
Jessica looked him in the eyes and paused.
"I don't know if I'll ever forgive you either, Danny."
She then stands up and walks towards her parents call.
"Jess!"
"I'm going to stay with my parents tonight. I can't be in that house."
Danny watched as Jessica got in the car and drove off with her parents.
Danny broke down in tears once again. He knew Jessica wasn't gone for good, but he was dreading being alone tonight.
**
It is now around 9:30 pm.
Jessica was sitting in her old room doing absolutely nothing.
Just sitting and staring. Suddenly, she felt a wetness in her bra.
When she looked down she noticed a milk stain on her blouse.
Jessica immediately started bawling.
Dorothy heard her and rushed in.
"Honey— Oh Jessie.." Dorothy's heart broke once again for her daughter.
"My milk came in." Jessica says in tears.
Dorothy walked over, sat on her bed and held her in her arms.
"My body wants to feed him.. it wants to feed my baby that isn't even here!" Jessica raised her voice.
"Jessie, I am so sorry."
"I don't even have a breast pump with me. It's at home in his nursery.."
"I'll go get it! But first, I'll get you some ice.
Only pump until your comfortable, then ice, ice, ice!"
"I can't do this, mom." Jessica nods.
"It'll be okay. I'll be right back."
Dorothy quickly drove over to the house.
Danny opened the door and she could smell the alcohol on his breath.
"I'm-I'm sorry, Miss D! I didn't know you were coming."
"Jessica's milk came in so I came for her breast pump."
"What? Oh no, is she okay?"
"She'll be alright."
Danny looks to the side, then back at Dorothy.
"Dorothy, I need her! I don't want to stay here alone tonight."
"Daniel, she needs some time. She'll be back."
"I don't know how this happened! He was fine! He was so active, Dorothy. He was healthy!"
"I know. It's a horrible horrible thing that has happened...."
Danny then walks over to Simba's nursery.
He opens the door and sees it all perfectly decorated and read for him.
"Look at this. Jessica picked everything out for him.. she was happy to be having a son."
"I know.. Daniel, what was Jessica taking about earlier? At the the cemetery."
"What are you talking about?"
"Why is this your fault? What did you say?"
"Please, I can't talk about this now. It's been a long and horrible day."
"What did you say?"
Danny sighs. "When She first told me she was pregnant, I wasn't happy.. she and I didn't speak for like a month."
"A month?!"
"Yes but then I realized how much I love her and I came back. Then things were okay.. but I wasn't acting like a father to be and she told me that. This was in January.. these last few months have been amazing. I fell in love with my son, I fell in love with Autumn, and I fell deeper in love with Jessie. What sucks is all the bonding time I missed out on with Sim. That is bonding time I will never get back.
..So that's it. That's why she's upset, that's why it's my fault. Now here is her pump. Please tell her I love her with all my heart and that I just want to get through this together."
***
I'm so sorry, guys! I promise to make you smile soon! 😬💖
