internal screaming (notes)

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title idea internal screaming ...main points and story build upon the key fact that I'm internally screaming for help but no one listens as I'm burning inside and practically begging but denied the help I need to keep from drowning in the embers of pain that won't die for they smile at my demise

Confession

I wondered if I die if I jumped from the second-floor stairs of u building it fascinates me the height of it far from the ground. I can imagine me climbing over the concrete ledge and tumbling over the gravity of me losing my balance. Me free falling through the air so fast but it feels so slow and the bone-crushing thud of my body hitting the courtyard. some times I just walk over there and look at how far it is and then look up to the sky and sigh. I look out at the crowds and scan for something that would fill my heart back up with joy. Then I walk away and I walk all over the school campus in a daze searching for something that I don't find. Yet I keep finding myself walking back to the stairs and the courtyard I can imagine me sprawled out. The blood gushing from open wounds that don't reflect the magnitude of the emotional pain I was feeling before my bones were snapped on the impact of hitting the courtyard or the blood-curdling screams of students nearby. I don't know why I haven't made this happen yet... just that it needs to happen before I start confessing all my sins.


i love it when u paint your pictures in my mind


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