Oak Ridge

friday. june 28

"Let's go ladies! Don't let the guys intimidate you!" I shout at my girls on the Field.

Blake stands next to me, watching as his guys absolutely murder my girls in ultimate frisbee. They keep passing to the people closest to them, gaining themselves zero ground. I watch in horror as a girl drops the frisbee even though it was passed to her from three feet away. It looks like the Legacy is about to be crushed again.

"Why do they look like they're afraid to play?" Blake asks. "It's not like the boys are gonna hurt them or anything."

"That's not it," I sigh. "They're hormonal and think your guys are cute so they don't want to play hard and act tough."

"That's stupid."

"You think?" I ask sarcastically. "Man when we were campers I was not afraid to beat the crap out of you in a challenge."

"Yeah I know," he says. "And I thought it was pretty hot, you know? You got all determined and you'd get all sweaty—"

"Shut the hell up," I interrupt.

"I'm just sayin'!"

"Well stop, they might hear you."

"They all think we're all fucking each other anyway— Carter throw it to someone else for a change!"

"That's not true," I say. "Everyone knows that Emily and Chase are both taken. By the way, speaking of Chase—"

"I know right? He's been bummed out lately and I don't know what's up with him. Like he's usually pretty quiet but this is different."

"Maybe I should try and talk to him," I suggest. "He's too sweet to be sad."

"Yeah maybe he'll tell you what's up."

I go back to watching the game, disappointed at the lack of effort my girls are showing. Eventually the challenge ends and once again, we get crushed. My group didn't even score.

I check my watch and see that it's time for lunch, so we pack up our stuff and head back down to the mess hall. I get in line behind Penny who's holding up the line talking to Johnny and eventually get my tray. I find Chase in the sea of people and sit down in the seat next to him.

"I want to talk to you," I say.

"Right now?"

"No I'll let you eat first, but as soon as you're finished we'll go outside."

He nods and starts to eat his sandwich. It doesn't take long for both of us to finish so after we put our trays back, I drag Chase outside.

"So, what's up?" He asks, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his shorts.

"What's going on with you? You just seem down." He looks a little surprised for a second but I stop him before he speaks. "Don't act shocked that we noticed either. We're your best friends. So please tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing it's just," he sighs. "I just feel like I don't belong here anymore, you know? The campers don't seem to respect me and I just don't think I belong here anymore, but I'm stuck here."

"But Chase everyone loves you! You're so sweet and you've always been good with the younger guys. What happened?"

"Mal, do you know how bad it hurts to be ignored? No. You don't know what it's like to be in a room full of people but feel like no one gives a damn about you. You don't know how it feels to be the only be left out of stuff. It sucks! Did you notice during the Q and A that not a single person asked me a question?"

To be honest, I didn't.

"No, you didn't because no one notices me! I'm a waste of space, Mal!"

"No you're not and I don't ever want to hear you say that again," I say. "I do know what it feels like to be on the outside, Chase. I know exactly what it's like to feel like nobody cares about me. You are not a waste of space. You matter to me and everyone else here. Those campers don't know you like we do and the Chase we know doesn't let stupid kids determine how he feels about himself. You are awesome and we love you. Now hug me before I start crying!"

He smiles and wraps me up in a big hug.

"Now please try and stop feeling this way. Life is too short to care about the opinions of people who don't matter," I tell him.

"I will, Mal, thanks."

"But if you feel bad again, come tell one of us, please. It's not good to keep it to yourself."

"I promise I will," Chase assures me. "I've gotta go set up my cards now, but thanks for talking to me, Mal. They don't call you a counselor for nothing."

"Hey, you're one too. Spread the love, pal!"

"I will," he says. "Bye!"

He walks off down the path to the Main Lodge where a group of kids sits waiting for him. I see Blake walking out of the mess hall and catch up with him.

"Hey I talked to Chase."

"Good. What'd he say?"

"Blake, he told me he feels like a waste of space," I say.

"What?"

"Yeah, he says he doesn't matter here and he feels like nobody likes him."

"He knows that's not true, right?"

"I hope so," I sigh. "I tried to talk some sense into him but I can't help how he feels."

"I'll keep an eye out for him. He doesn't deserve to feel like that," Blake promises. "You know, seeing this caring side of you really makes me wanna see how good you can take care of me—"

"Blake, shut up."

"I can't help it!"

"Well you're gonna have to try and contain yourself until camp is over."

"But I don't want to," he whines.

"That's tough," I say. "Now go set up your washers or whatever the hell you're playing today."

"Yes ma'am."