Oak Ridge

friday. june, 21

"What did I ever do to you, man? This is the fourth time you've done this," Sean pouts as Drew lays down his third draw four card.

"Well dude if you'd stop changing the colors I wouldn't have to do this to you!"

I laugh at the two sophomore boys. I've always believed that Uno ruins friendships, but I guess it's the same concept when it comes to people who barely know each other. Eventually, Drew wins the game and we set back up again. There aren't many campers wanting to play card games today because it's so pretty outside.

Before activity time ends, I remember our special Camp Meeting tonight.

"Hey everybody, before I forget I just wanted to make sure y'all know about our Q and A tonight. It can be questions about anything and we'll try to answer as many as we can."

The campers just barely acknowledge what I just said and continue along with their game. I sigh and sit back in my chair, hoping they'll at least try and come up with some good questions for us.

My watch hits three o'clock and the campers rush out of the Main Lodge to meet their leaders for the second challenge of the day. Apparently no one decided to clean up today so I spend about ten minutes picking up Uno and playing cards.

My group is already at our meeting spot when I get there and I barely have time to explain our next activity before rushing off to the Field.

The Q and A was always my favorite part of camp. We have three sessions each summer and the questions are always really interesting. I just hope these campers actually remember to write some down. They really don't seem to listen to me.

◾️◾️◾️

"Well guys, you survived your first week!" Eric announces at Camp Meeting. The campers all cheer and seem really excited for the weeks ahead. "I'm gonna go ahead and invite my counselors up here now so we can get started with our first Q and A!"

Princeton gets up first followed by Mallory and Mary Anne. I make my way after them to the stage. We all sit down on the edge and Eric sits down with us with his bag of questions.

"Okay so you guys asked your leaders some questions and we're gonna answer every single one of them so I hope they're good," he says making the campers laugh. He opens up his bag and digs a question out. "Alright, our first question is for miss Mallory. This person asks, 'Mallory, why did you want to be a counselor?'"

"That's a good one," she says. "I guess after growing up coming here every year I decided I didn't want to leave. I always thought the leaders were so awesome and I wanted to be just like them."

We all nod at her good answer, but Blake shifts around a little bit. Eric pulls out another question for Myles.

"Myles, are you and Mary Anne a thing?"

The campers laugh as both of their faces turn bright red. They both shout no and shake their heads. I'm pretty sure one of us counselors put that question in the bag. We're all convinced that they've been secretly dating since they were like fourteen.

Question after question goes by asking Princeton about playing football or about Penelope's family. Mary Anne and Myles answer a few more and Blake cracks a couple jokes at some really funny questions. Emily gives short answers to her numerous questions and Mallory does her best to answer some pretty deep ones thrown her way.

I sit back quietly as all the other leaders answer their questions. Not a single one is directed at me. When we get through all the slips of paper and the campers are dismissed for bed, the staff stays behind for a quick meeting before leaving to go back to the cabins.

I'm the first out the door and on my way down the gravel path I hear fast approaching footsteps before a large hand clamps down on my shoulder.

"Hey man," Myles says. "You alright? You seem kind of off."

"It's nothing," I assure him. "I'm just tired."

I don't think he buys my lie, but he drops the subject and keeps on walking until we come up to Dogwood. He slaps my back goodbye and jogs up the stairs into the cabin.

When I get inside my bunkhouse, my boys are milling around getting ready for bed. Thankfully a shower is available and I gratefully turn on the hot water. Stepping in, my brain starts to go over all the negative thoughts of the day.

No one listens to me.

No one likes me.

I'm not a good leader.

I don't deserve respect.

Why am I even here?

I'm worthless.

I shake my head and get on with washing off the day. When I'm finished, I go to reach for my towel only to find that it's not on the hook outside and my clothes are no longer there either. Groaning, I bang my head against the shower wall.

"Princeton!"

"Yeah dude?"

"Someone took my clothes!"

I hear some muttering from the other room and Princeton ordering for a kid in his group the return my stuff. Eventually I hear a thud and a slight splash as someone threw my clothes on the ground outside my shower. When I pick them up, I see that my shirt is wet from being thrown in some water.

I get dressed anyway and start drying my hair. The lights out time is nearing and I'm so ready to get in the bed and go to sleep. Princeton addresses the boys and talks a bit about their first week at camp and how they've enjoyed it so far. It's a short conversation and only a few boys answer any questions.

I crawl into my bed and Princeton climbs up to the bunk above me when he's ready to go to sleep. Eventually all the boys are quiet and sleeping, but for some reason I'm wide awake.

It's pointless for me to be here.

I don't have any value to this camp.

I'm such a loser.

"Chase," Princeton whispers above me.

"What?"

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"No you're not. You've been really mopey today. If you want to talk, you know where to find me."

"Yeah, sure."

No one understands me.