Oak Ridge

wednesday. june, 19

I don't know what I would've done if Eric had denied our request to go down the mountain to get deodorant because 'Gabe's melted." Thankfully, he agreed so Penny and I have the opportunity to get chocolate for our bonfire on Saturday.

We get into her car and start the drive down. The late afternoon breeze causes the tall pine trees on either side of us to sway side to side. We don't pass any other cars on the road because the only thing up this way is the camp.

"Man, Penelope, what the hell is this music?" I complain. Some high-pitched girl's voice is practically shouting at me through Penny's speakers.

"I honestly don't know. I think it's Mary Anne's, though. My radio doesn't get any stations up here and this is the only CD I have."

I flick the music off and listen to the sound of her tires on the road until I start to get bored. I left my phone back at the camp, not that I get service anyway.

"Penny I'm bored," I groan.

"We're gonna be down in civilization in like five minutes. Chill out," she says.

"I want to be in civilization now, though."

"If you're gonna keep complaining, I'm gonna make you walk, bud."

I shut up but sigh loud enough to annoy Penelope. I lean my seat back and face the roof of her car, but then realize that it's not really that comfortable so I sit back up. I turn the crappy music back on and then start to shuffle through Penny's glove box to figure out who on Earth is on this CD.

"Who even is Tonight Alive?"

"Like I said Blake, I have no idea."

"So this is the kind of crap that Mary Anne listens to? How did you get this anyway?"

"Myles gave it to her for Christmas at my bonfire but she left it," Penny says.

"I heard about that bonfire. Somebody told me that something went down with Myles while he was there. You hear about that?"

"Uh yeah, but I heard a different story from everyone. He hasn't talked to anyone about it but Mary Anne, though. They had some argument about it but they made up like the next day."

"Damn," I sigh.

The rest of the ride down is quiet and soon enough we find a convenience store and pick up a stick of deodorant and a few bars of chocolate. I stare longingly at the alcohol in the refrigerated section, but Penny nudges me on, reminding me of my promise to stay sober all summer.

"You don't want to die at twenty one," she says.

She's right, anyways. I've already been in the hospital for alcohol poisoning. The frat houses at LSU throw the wildest parties and sometimes we enjoy them a little too much.

After we pay for our things, we get back in the car and get back on the road to take us back to the camp.

"So, how are your boys doing?" Penny asks.

"They're good, I guess. A little wild maybe, but so am I. Heck, they spend half their day staring the shit out of half the girls here."

"And you never did that?"

"You know I did," I laugh.

"Speaking of girls," Penelope sighs, " I heard that Mallory made a special trip from Florence and stayed in Monroe for like all of Christmas break."

"Uh, yeah. She did," I reply.

"Okay and?"

"What about it? If she didn't tell you then I'm not going to."

At some point you have to learn how to keep secrets especially when it comes to people you care about. Ever since we were kids, all eight of us told each other everything. It didn't matter that Princeton and Emily were older or that we lived hundreds of miles away from each other. If we needed advice, we picked up the phone. If we needed to get something off our chests, we dialed a number.

But as we're getting older, I've come to realize that some things don't need to be shared with everyone. All of us know about the alcohol poisoning, but only Myles knows that I had a pregnancy scare last year. There are things in Myles' life that only Mary Anne knows about. I'm sure that Penelope knows things about Mary Anne that no one else does. Hell, I'm keeping stuff from everyone else.

Things change as we get older and I think that some things are just meant to stay in the dark.

◾️◾️◾️

"Man, they ran out of tater tots," Chase pouts as he slams his tray down on the table.

"You shouldn't have been late to dinner, then."

Mallory joins us at the table along with some campers. The other counselors are scattered across the Mess Hall chatting with the kids and laughing over dinner. Penny and I make eye contact, but she looks away and I'm reminded of our awkward car ride up the mountain.

I guess secrets really don't make friends.

I sit quietly throughout dinner and only eat half of my hamburger before offering my tater tots to Chase and leaving the building. My campers all expect me to be the fun one and I'm really not feeling like being a downer right now.

Once I'm back at Dogwood, I pick up my phone and see the purple Geaux Tigers! lock screen empty of notifications. I throw it back down on my bed and get ready to flop down on it when I hear a knock on the screen door. I groan and stalk to the door and fling it open to see a confused-looking Mallory. I look around and make sure that there aren't any people around before ushering her into the bunk house.

"Blake, are you okay? You're acting weird," she sits down on my bed while I stay standing.

"Penny knows that you were in Monroe over Christmas."

"Did you tell her?" She asks, eyes wide.

"No, no, I wouldn't do that," I reassure her quickly and sit down next to her. "Why didn't you tell her, though? I figured you might want someone else to know."

"I didn't."

"Well how the hell did she find out, then?"

"I think she has Donny Haybrooke on Snapchat or something."

"Whatever, I still can't believe you didn't tell anyone else! I mean wouldn't you want someone else to know but me?"

"It's not that important," Mallory shakes her head. "I came to you because I knew you could handle it. I drove seven hours for a reason, Blake."

"Have you heard from them since?" I ask quietly after a while. Mallory looks at her feet and shakes her head again. "Shit, Mal! Did you just stay on campus by yourself, then?"

She nods and looks back up at me.

"You could've came back to Monroe with me! Nobody would've known, Mal."

"It's too late anyways," she says. "Well, I've gotta go before dinner lets out. Bye, Blake."

She gives me a small smile before walking away, letting the screen door clap back in the frame.