Oak Ridge

wednesday. june, 26

"Hey Em, have you seen my hairbrush anywhere?"

"Have you checked the bathroom?" I ask.

"Yes!" Penny calls back.

"What about under the beds?"

With a groan, Penelope gets on her hands and knees searching for her hairbrush. The other girls move about the cabin getting ready for bed. It's been an exhausting day.

It was scorching outside today so no one was really in the mood for any activities. Everyone went down to the lake during free hour and wore themselves out so by the time dinner and camp meeting rolled around, all we wanted to do was sleep.

Some girls have already climbed into bed to get some rest while others are sitting and talking in each other's bunks. It's nice to see that the girls have made some friends.

While Penelope searches for her hairbrush, I sit on my bed in my pajamas going over some ideas to do during Focus Week. No one knows who's going to speak yet, but all of the leaders have to pick activities that have to do with opening up and being honest with each other.

Just as I write down my plans for that Tuesday, a shadow appears over me. I turn and see Kayanna, a girl from my group, standing next to my bed.

"Hey girl, what's up?"

I put my notebook down next to me and turn to face her. She looks pensive and nervous so I drop my smile.

"Do we need to go outside?"

She nods and I slip on my Birkenstocks and whisper to Penny where I'm going. She agrees to hold down the fort as she continues to search for her brush. Kayanna and I head outside to sit on the steps in front of our cabin. The boys across in Scotch Pine are still up and laughing, but I doubt they'll come outside and disturb us.

"So," I start. "What's bothering you?"

Kayanna takes a deep breath and goes to speak, but stops herself and looks down at her feet. When she look back up, her dark brown eyes are watery and her lips are starting to tremble.

"I don't want to be here anymore," she cries. "I hate it! No one talks to me and everyone leaves me out and I'm only here because my parents made me."

I sigh and put a hand on her shoulder. I remember being a first-time camper and absolutely hating my life the first week here. I hated my parents for sending me here and I hated the counselors for being so happy all the time while I was mad at the world. I also remember that by the time the last day came around, I was latched on to Mary Anne, Penelope, and Mallory crying my eyes out not wanting to leave.

"You know, you remind me of myself," I say. "I was just thinking about my first time here and how much I hated it. My parents shipped me off so they could go on some dream vacation to the Bahamas and I was stuck here on this stupid mountain. But now I hate leaving every time. And now it's my last year and I'm trying to make the best of it."

"I wish my parents were going on a dream vacation," Kayanna grumbles. "But instead they're getting a divorce and sent me here while they work everything out."

"I am so sorry," I say, genuinely. "I can't even imagine what that's like."

"It freaking sucks that's what it's like."

We sit for a while in the quiet. At some point, the middle school guys shut up and now the only sounds are of the bugs and the wind in the swaying pines.

"Don't hate being here, Kayanna." I break the silence. "You never know if you love it or not unless you stick through it. I made the best friends of my life here, you know. I live in Virginia and I know that if I needed one of them they'd drive all the way from where they live to come to me."

"How am I supposed to make friends if no one talks to me?"

"Do you talk to them?"

"No," she answers.

"Well how about that? You wonder why no one talks to you but you don't talk to them. Kayanna, you gotta put yourself out there! Don't wait for other people to make friends with you. Make the first move. Compliment someone tomorrow! Talk to someone at breakfast or something. If you exclude yourself you're gonna hate your life being here and you'll never know just how awesome this place is."

"Guess I might as well make the best of it if I'm stuck here, huh?"

"Absolutely," I say. "Now go get some sleep. And if you ever need to talk again, just come find me."

Kayanna nods and goes back inside the now silent cabin. I decide to sit outside for a little while longer. The wind feels so nice right now.

Just when I decide to go back inside and go to bed, I hear footsteps on the gravel path. I climb down the stairs and in the dim light of the moon, I see the shadowy figure of a guy walking behind the Sugar Pine cabin.

Against my better judgement, I decide to check it out. I sneak quietly inside my cabin and grab my flashlight from my back pack and head back outside. My shoes crunch on the rocks so I move to the grass to walk. My breath is shaky as I approach the high school girls cabin. The lights are off inside and I hear noises around the back. I sneak around and while I'm half expecting to see a creepy old man trying to kidnap one of our girls, I'm just as shocked as I shine my light on two figures feverishly making out against the cabin. The guy turns around and I almost drop my flashlight in surprise.

"What the fuck?" Blake shouts.

My eyes turn to Mallory who has her face covered in embarrassment. I turn off my light and approach them quietly.

"I could ask you the same question, dude! What are y'all doing?"

"What does it look like we're doing?"

"Blake calm down," Mallory says. "I'm sorry Emily."

"How long has this been going on?" I ask.

"Since Christmas," Blake sighs.

I turn back to Mallory in shock.

"Wait, weren't you in Monroe- oh shit!" I say in disbelief. Looks like I was betting on the wrong couple.

"How did you even find out about that?" Blake asks.

"I have Donny Haybrooke on Snapchat," I answer. "So you were together the whole time? You guys are like a thing?"

"Yeah," Mallory nods. "But don't say anything to anyone else, okay?"

"Mal, you know she can't keep a secret for shit," Blake grumbles.

"No it's fine, I got it. It's just weird," I assure them. "Well, I can officially say that I'm freaked out, but I'll keep your secret so don't worry. But I hope you know that if I don't speak to either of you for a few days, I'm not mad, just weirded out. And kind of hurt that you didn't tell any of us like what the hell?"

Blake scratches the back of his neck and groans.

"It's not that big of a deal," he says. "Just forget that you saw any of this and it'll all be okay."

I look back at Mallory and sigh, switching off my flashlight. I don't wish them a goodnight as I walk away back to my cabin. When I get inside I climb into bed and pull the covers up to my chin.

Two of my best friends have been keeping such a big secret since December and I can't help but feel a little bit hurt. We've never kept secrets from each other! This summer has felt different since the second I drove up and I can only hope that it's not because things are starting to fall apart.