Jake and Taylor: A Love Story

Chapter 19: Taylor

-Taylor's Point of View-

Before when I liked Jake it was always awkward seeing his parents. Especially when they were together. I mean not together together but like in the same room. When Jake's dad started dating Meredith it apparently was like world war three because she is super homophobic. Last Christmas Jake went to his sister's and she had invited both of their parents. Jake called me at 7:30, telling me they thought he was on a business call but really he just couldn't handle talking to them anymore. The night when he called me I hoped against hope that our relationship would go somewhere.

But it didn't and now I have been dating him for 2 days and I already have secrets from him. Grayson insists on ruining every part of my life. Two days. That's all. How pathetic is that?

We went to dinner with his mom and Carol. Which was lovely, but I think if I wasn't trying to hide not only Trevor but also Grayson from all of them I would have a lot more fun. After the dinner we went home, but Jake had this look on his face like everything was going wrong again. He laid down in my bed, kissing me on the forehead before rolling over and falling asleep. I couldn't sleep, my mind keeps drifting to that night.

It was 4 years ago. I was a sophomore in college and I was single. I thought everything was fine, I liked being single. I mean who wouldn't, I could go out partying and not worry about accidentally cheating on my boyfriend. I was at this party that my friend, Abby. She and I had been best friends since 8th grade. She got me through a lot of shit and I got her through a high school pregnancy. (which went really badly. She lost the baby before she was even 3 months pregnant but everyone knew about it) We were at his party dancing when this guy came up and started talking to Abby. Everyone did, she was gorgeous. They danced and then started making out. About 10 minutes later this guy came up to me. He was so handsome, blond hair that was naturally spiked up, and these kind blue eyes.

I fell madly in love with him instantly. And this was only the second week of school. He and I started dating a week or two later. My parents met him over that winter break. They didn't really like him but they never told me because they could see that I liked him a lot.

That May right before we both left for the summer he came over to my dorm, we were going to see each other again that summer but not for about 3 weeks. I was leaving that day and we had sex one last time, but the stupid condom broke. He didn't tell me until much later. Like years later.

I was at home a few weeks later when I started throwing up, every morning. None of my food would stay down. I thought maybe I was just sick until it kept happening over and over again. Then I remembered Abby. She had the same thing happened to her. I freaked out and got a pregnancy test.

I was right. I was pregnant and my parents were going to kill me. I told Andie that day. She was in 8th grade at the time and looked at me like she was going to die. We both knew oh too well that I couldn't be pregnant in College.

He came to visit me a week later and I told him the news. He was surprised but looking back on it he wasn't as surprised as he should have been. He should have been freaking out and he just sat there nodding and hugging me.

My pregnancy, for the most part, was a secret. The people that went to classes with me knew, my sister knew, Abby knew, the people at our local hospital knew, and the baby's dad knew. That year I didn't go home for winter vacation and I woouldn't let my parents come visit me. I didn't want them to know about my baby. I wanted to keep it though. I found out I was having a boy. In high school while Abby was pregnant she was picking out names and I told her the names I liked. Mark, Tyler, Jason, and Trevor.

My son Trevor was born on  on January 12, 2008. He died on January 12, 2008. He was born a stillborn. After he died they let me hold him. Which I regret almost everyday. I should have just let them take him away but I didn't.

That same day I was told by my best friend and my boyfriend that they had slept together. And she was pregnant. My best friend in the whole world had slept with the guy who's child I was pregnant with. I didn't talk to them for a very long time after that, in fact I still haven't talked to Abby and I just talked to Grayson two days ago.  

I never told Jake about any of this because it all broke my heart and every time I try to share it with people I breakdown. Jake is probably the only person I would feel comfortable telling. I tried to tell him before but it never worked out, I froze up and kept it to myself.

Maybe now would be a good time, we are dating and happy and everything else is almost going right. I should tell him. But not about Grayson and Josh. That doesn't involve me and I shouldn't be part of it.

Finally I can fall asleep. Even though Trevor is on my mind again. Right before drifting off I text Andie 'Grayson is in town, you and I need to talk. Soon.'

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Hello! Now you know who Trevor is! YAY!! I'm sorry if it wasn't what you were expecting. So I have really bad writer's block. Like I know what I want to happen with the story and I have a plan but I just can't seem to write. And I apologize for how terrible my writing is becoming.

I love you all and please leave me a comment! (It helps with my writing a lot if I know what you all think)

Hopefully Chapter 20 will be up soon. If I can get out of this ridiculousness of not being able to write!!