She was completely numb.
She no longer cried.
She did not laugh.
She was done.
She didn't give a shit about anyone anymore. She didn't even care about her artist. She knows she should because he saved her yet, she couldn't reach enough to press the care button to care for him. A matter of factly she stopped liking him as well.
She lied.
She lied to everyone.
She even lied to herself.
She always lied and loved but also hated it.
She noticed that she didn't even noticed she started writing it down till she dropped her phone and hit her toe.
She picked it up and read what it said
"I lied
I barely tell the truth
I lie, everybody lies
but me.. I lie everyday
I lied about being okay
I lied about not caring about my insecurities
I lied about being happy
mostly my entire life has been a lie
I want to be truthful but I cannot
when all I know how to do is lie
lying has become an instinct to me
it's a part of my life
lying helps me threw out the day
I lied
I lied to him
and that's what cost me my relationship
I lied to her
that's what cost me my friendship
I lied
I lied about not caring
I lied about love
I lied"
She couldn't believe her own eyes that she wrote it and didn't even realize it. She didn't even realize her fingertips were writing what she was feeling.
She lied about everything. But what she was telling about her personal problems and the negativity was completely true. She never lied about that.
One thing she did lie about was smiling while saying she'll be there for you and that she Loved you. saying she meant it.
She said how could someone believe that when she herself, don't even know how to love.
When she lied she would smile.
She made sure you fell for the lie.
She lied for you to hear what you want to hear so she lied to others.
Lying was her partner,
even though she didn't know what love technology was she still loved her lying partner.
