She is now 16 years old , her life some what got better but the fights never stopped. She continued to cry asking why? why? why? she felt like she deserved everything bad that came into her life. She no longer felt happiness but only pain.
She felt the need to make others happy so she could be happy. She realized that everyone who had said " I love you" to her has hurt her in ways no one can understand. At age 16 everything was a blur, the only thing she remembered is going to school and going back home back and forth. She hated the world she truly did, but of course she wasn't going to tell others that. She felt like she needed help but knew that nobody was going to help her.
She sang every once and awhile to help her forget everything but once that was done she felt alone again. Her god sister was there for her but not in the way she wanted her to be. She made her feel happy and wishing she had her life, so every weekend she would try to see her god sister who happened to be her cousin of course, as much as she could because since birth that was truly her only best friend. Her cousin loved this boy band but she did not seem to care and would tell her always "they aren't going to last" and her cousin would cry about it and tell her she was mean. Her cousin knew she was joking but she still wondered why she said those things.
Later on she went to school and felt the need to stop trying if her life was so messed up. She would apologize for what she told her cousin and would listen to them from time to time. She loved her godparents more than her own parents. She knew deep down why they made her their goddaughter. She wished her parents were like them, but her godparents didn't know this cruel side of them even though they would be all happy and cheerful towards others. she hated when her parents weren't being their true selves.
She hated being 16. the more years past the more she wanted to be with her loved one in heaven. she knew she had a sister and she wondered from time to time what if her and her sister had switched places. would it have made anything better? or worse? She often thought about death and how she would die. She wasn't afraid to die but to leave her loved ones yes. but the question she asked every single time was if they would've honestly cared if she was dead?
