Deal Of Love| #Wattys2019

Chapter 14: Who Do I Love?

"I'm sorry, what?" Adam asked confused and shock but mostly confused more than ever because of my out burst. This was all surprising to me. The boy who I had a crush on since elementary school, the one who I never thought saw me or even so knew my name just told me, in my house, in my room, that he LIKES ME!

Again. WHAT.THE. SHIT.

"Oh god, I'm sorry Cameron. I shouldn't of came out at you with all this especially this fast. Man I'm such a idiot. I understand that you don't feel the same. I'm sorry, again. Shit." Adam was starting to get nervous and losing hope. I could tell because he was beginning too stutter and mess up his hair, which reminded me of Noah when Noah always gets nervous, mad, or upset.

That is also the reason I didn't answer him yet; expect for my outburst not too long ago. Because of Noah....

I have feelings for Noah there's no doubt about that. No matter how much I tried to denied it before or didn't recognized them. I can't stop from facing the truth. But that does not mean I don't like Adam. I do like Adam. A lot. I've always have and now that I know his feelings are the same toward me and I have a chance; it changes everything.

I want to scream out "yes! I have feelings for you too!!" To Adam but the thought of Noah is holding me back this second. Noah brings laughter and happiness to my life, not to mention he is there when I need him and being with him lately I started to feel a connection between us; a spark I've never felt before when he was around. But now that I think more deeply into it, I got to look at the reality.

Noah does not like me. He never will. You know why? Because we're the closets friends who grew up together. That's why. He sees me as just as a friend who he loves to mess with, nothing more like a girlfriend or a crush. While
Adam is a great guy and is basically handing me the opportunity of having and being love on a silver plater.

This is all messing with my head. My feelings were everywhere not just for one guy but two.

It be wrong and selfish of me to go and say 'yes' to Adam when feelings for his teammate and my friend is still there. That's not right. I want to be able to tell Adam 'yes' when only I can feel for him and him only.  It's not that I don't want to accept his confession trust me I do, I've been dreaming of this moment since first grade. It just, I feel bad forever if I do accept him with another man in my heart right beside him.

"Adam..." I said in whispered tone. "This-"

"I know, stupid. Im sorry , Cameron." He cut me off. "Forget I said anything."

"No. It's not stupid." I put my hand on top of his hand that was on his left knee to reassured him. I don't want to hurt his feelings at the end of the day. "I'm glad you told me. I actually have feelings for as well; ever since first grade technically. I just never said anything because I was scared you would laugh at me and tell everyone then they would of picked on me. You know how first graders are. The thing is, this is all coming at me all at once, out of nowhere. Before anything is to happen, I want to think over it. I just need a little bit of time."

Normally I would be beating myself up right now. I mean, Adam is asking me to be his, his girlfriend basically and instead of taking that title I'm pushing him back and making him wait. But I'm making the right choice, this is the right thing to do until I get my feelings sorted.

"It's okay. To know that you like me too is good enough for me at the second."

I raised a brow. "Really?"

He nodded and gave a beautiful smile that showed his perfect white teeth and made him glow. "Yea, because now I know you and I feel like this about each other ands that's amazing. I will give you all the time you need, Cameron. I don't want to pressure you into a decision this minute that you might not want; but I won't give up on you. Unless you tell me to no and to move on.Okay?"