Deal Of Love| #Wattys2019

Chapter 24: My First Heartbreak

I sat there on the steps of my porch, with my head held down, my heart broke heart in my hands and my tears ready to drop.

After I received someone's anonymous gift at my front door. I admittedly called Noah over. Which was hard for me because all I wanted to was scream and cuss his ear drums off. But I kept it in.

Wanting to be technical, the gift is not so anonymous. I knew- I know who exactly did this. Who delivered this to me.

Indianapolis wicked witch, Olivia.

It had to be her. Simply for the fact that she was the other person in the screenshots that were printed out and placed in the envelope and given to me. Her and along with my so called loyal boyfriend, Noah.

Disgusting.

That's what's was in the big envelope. Screenshots from a conversation that were printed out. A conversation filled with nothing but flirting, pictures and all that sickening stuff.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't hurt. I'm in deed hurt, badly.  Lied too , betrayed, but hurt the most.

"Hey babe, I'm sorry I toke long to come over. I had to finish up some stuff." I heard Noah said breaking the silence that was there. I must of been deep into my thoughts that I didn't hear him approaching.

"Did you? Or were your really busy texting Olivia?" I growled under my breath.

"What?"

"You heard me." I lifted my head and stood up so I didn't have to look up to yell at him. "Tell me the truth, Noah. And don't you dare lie because you already got caught red handed so the best thing for you to do right now is speak the truth while I'm giving you the chance."

I wanted to give him the opportunity to explain everything from the beginning to the end, before I begin going off. Aiming for his head. Shouldn't even do that thought. Not after what he did.

"Did I miss something? Why do you look like you want to kill me?" He asked, scratching the back of his head, confused more than ever.

Maybe because I do.
Your lucky I don't want to go to jail for murder, bastard.

Guessing he was not fully understanding what I was talking about. I threw the papers that were still holding and shoved them at him.

I stood there with my arms crossed, my leg shaking in anger and a piercing yet hurt gaze as he took time to scan through and read them. I wanted to bust crying so bad but I was doing whatever it toke to not. Crying is the last thing I needed to do.

It must of hit him what was really going because I saw the guilt washed over his face. Almost as if he knew his wrong. What he did.

That punched me in the heart even more.

"Cameron-"

I cut him off. "You lied too me. You said that day in the hallway, that you haven't texted or had sex with Olivia for a long time. That you stopped. Liar."

Noah licked his lips and heavy sighed. "Who gave you these? Huh? Was it Olivia?"

Is he serious right now? He's been going behind my back freaking nasty texting and probably sleeping with the devil her self and the only thing he is worried about is, who gave me the proof. What the hell?!

"That doesn't matter! What matters is that you've been lying too me this whole time and messing around with Olivia. As we are together! " I raised my voice. I could feel my anger rising to the top; ready to be released. "Do you know how that makes me feel? To find out like this.  For you to do this at all. What, was I not good enough for you? Wasn't giving you any sex so you had to go and screw the girl you had sex sessions with- god knows how many times!"

"No. That's not like that at all. I never thought that way of you."

"Then why?!" I yelled pushing him, making him stumbled back. "Why?" I pushed him again. "Tell me fucking why!" Giving Noah another good pushed.

"I don't know!" He exploded. I flinched at his sudden raged. I've never heard him yell or saw him get that angry before. "I don't fucking know okay?! I just- at first I had continued on with it but once I had realized what I was really doing. How fucked up I was being towards you-amount of hurt I could possibly being bringing upon you, I stopped!Honestly I did. I cut off all tides with her. Deleted her number and never spoke to her even at school. I know that does not justified for what I did and I'm sorry. You to go believe me when I tell how sorry I am for doing it in the first place. I'm really am, Cameron."

Believe? That's the last thing he can ever ask or expect me to do after he smiled up in my face, kissed me, hugged me, then went and did the same to another girl. More at that.

Believing is like trusting; and trust for him disappeared when I opened that enveloped.

"That doesn't fix what you did." I said sniffing. I didn't realized I had began crying a water fall down my face. "And to be honest; I don't think you or anything can."  The words didn't even leave my mouth yet the ache in my heart  started to cause major pain.

Knowing where this conversation is about to turn. Noah lunge at me, grabbing my hand and shaking his head rapidly. "No. No. Don't. Don't Cameron, please."

"I-"

"No, cam."

"I-"

"Let's talk it out. Work through it. Even if that's means you staying mad at me for a while and giving me the silent treatment , I'm willing to go through it for you." He whispered in a soft, sad voice as he pressed his forehead against mines. "Cam..."

God why does this hurt so much?

Is this what happens when you give your heart, dedication, affection and most importantly love too?

Cause if so I hate it. I hate it so much.
The feeling is unbearable.

My mom always told me about men- how I have to be careful around them. About her story with my father. Listening to them, I heard her reasoning and her pain but never felt and understood until now. 

There is always a first for everything in life. You experienced things you never experienced before. Such as first party, first time driving, first steps walking as baby-saying your first words..first love. The usual type of things.

Mines is first heartbreak. Such as now.
Something you never want to go through.

Tears poured out of my eyes and sobs escaped my mouth. I released my hand from his and backed away. Leaving Noah looking slightly hurt from my rejection. It hurts me more to do this because Noah is actually the first guy I ever thought of love with. Ever feel in love with. Yet everything was a lie. Being mad and giving the silent treatment wasn't going to fill up the hole he created in my heart. Pretty sure nothing was. I couldn't look at him for what I was about to say next. So I stared down at the ground while still crying my broken heart out.

"It's over, Noah."

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