Dogs

1.

I wrapped my arm around Jae as he held onto my waist still, pressing a kiss to his head before letting go. I need to leave. Why did I even think that he would be gone? That he would not bother to find me? I'm putting them all at risk...

"You all head to the van first. I'm going to go to the toilet real quick" I told them, wanting to leave immediately.

"Hyung, let me..." Jae started when I interrupted him.

"Go ahead Jae" I stroked the side of his head lightly, scanning his features one last time. He nodded back at me and I turned away, my heart clenching painfully. I'm going to break that promise Jae. I'm sorry.

~

I headed into the direction of the toilet before detouring to go out, pulling my hood up as I wanted to grab a cab back to our dorm.

I took my phone out to text them all, wanting to let them know that I was sorry when Jae's smiling face in my phone's background stared back at me.

I can't leave. I can't make him cry because of me. My Jae... he'll get over it. He'll find someone else. But I have to protect him to be able to protect his smiles.

I bowed to the driver before turning back to the stadium, suddenly unsure of what I had to do next. I stared down at my hands, seeing them still tremble slightly. I need to protect Jae... can I do this?

I took a deep breath, preparing my mind and my body before marching back towards the stadium. He had to still be around somewhere.

I dropped a quick text to Jae, not wanting him to come look for me and worry. The dorm should be safe enough for him to assume I'm asleep. My parents... my mom... I hope he explains well enough to them. He should know how much he means to me. How I would face that... man because of him.

If anything were to happen to me, at least they would be able to charge him a life sentence. And he'll be gone. A small price to pay for Jae...

I can't celebrate now Jae. I'm sorry.
I'm heading back to the dorm.
I'm okay. Don't worry.
Talk to my parents and friends for me.
Thank you Jae. For always being my sunshine.

I kept my phone while walking, scanning the back of the stadium, knowing that I would find him smoking in a corner somewhere.

I followed to where the smoke smelled the strongest and found him there, his eyes lighting up when he saw me. He has gotten broader... but so have I. I'm bigger than before. I need to protect my family.

"I knew you would come to me" he smirked, sauntering towards me while blowing smoke into my face. I waved it away, trying to make myself seem bigger while getting into a stance.

"What are you trying to glare at? You gonna fight me boy? You think you would be here if it weren't for me?" he laughed, reaching his hand up to smack my head.

I froze as I felt the smack, his face closer than ever. He smirked as he stood in front of me, tugging me by my to him. I felt like a lost child again, getting dragged by him and shoved to the wall. All the air left my lungs with a whoosh at the impact, my gaze dropping to my feet. Let him get it out of his system...

He stretched my arm out towards him, extinguishing his cigarette on my wrist before flicking it away. I controlled my flinching, willing myself not to cry...

"Stupid kid. You think that you're a big thing now huh?" he asked, smacking my head again. I stayed as still as possible, wanting him to get over and done with it. It always helped when I cooperated. I'm being good dad...