Vanished || l.h. au

eighteen

It's been a while, I'm sorry :(
(Staind reference anyone?)

Beth.

“I’m going with you.” Luke immediately said, already moving his feet to follow me out the door. I shut the door in front of me, turning around so that I faced him.

“No, you’re going to stay here. Or go visit your mother, it’s your choice.” I offered, remembering that he has still yet to pay a visit to his mom.

Luke sighed, his eyes momentarily closing as he ran his right hand through his hair. “You know I can’t do that, Beth. It’s too painful.”

“You still don’t think she deserves to know that you’re still alive?” I questioned, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“Beth, we’ve been over this before.” he responded, his voice raising. “What happens if all of this fails? I don’t want to give her that false hope that her son is alive only for me to die. That’s just cruel and I won’t do that to her!”

“And what about me, Luke? You didn’t think it was cruel to let me in?” I retorted, my voice quivering slightly.

“You know why, Beth, we’ve been through this before.”

I laughed without humor, pressing my hand to my forehead as I tilted my head back. “I know this, I know that, that’s all you say but, Luke, I don’t understand.”

“Beth,” Luke sighed, taking a step forward towards me. I shook my head, holding my hands out in front of me to prevent him from coming any further.

“Luke, don’t, just..” I grasped the doorknob and opened the door, quickly stepping outside, “don’t follow me.” I said, not bothering to turn around and face him but I knew he had heard me by the way the door slammed shut.

 

**

I put my car into ‘park’ as I arrived at the police station, turning the car off and slumping back in the driver’s seat. Was I really about to do this? Would it really help me figure out Luke’s case or would it only distract me further since I would be under the pressure of actually having a job?

“Beth, what are you doing?” I muttered to myself, leaning forward as I rested my head on the steering wheel. The fight with Luke was pointless and I knew it. I still don’t know why I picked it with him, he was right, we had discussed it before. Maybe all the stress was getting to me?

“You okay in there?” Holden called out as he knocked hard on my driver’s window, startling me. Attempting to calm my now speeding heart rate, I sat up straight, taking a deep breath before I turned to face him. I opened my car door, turning my legs so that they were now outside the car.

“Oh, hey. I was actually just coming to look for you.” I laughed, trying to discard from his thoughts any of my emotions he might have just seen.

“Really? What for?” He asked, brushing some of his black curls back. I ran a hand through my own hair, biting my lip as I realized the possibility that his offer might be expired by now.

“You remember that time that you caught me searching for a job? And you offered me one here at the station?” I asked hesitantly.

He placed a hand on the edge of my door, turning his head to look at the street behind my car. “I remember that. Feels like ages ago. What about it?” he asked, turning back to face me, his blue eyes connecting with mine.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I mentally crossed my fingers for a positive response to my next question.

“Is that position still available?”