Your Pocket Monster (Kim Namjoon x reader) (HOLD)

Chapter 13

Everything was a blur, the memory even hazier. The crying, the whimpering words, the screams, the shouts. Namjoon heard it all, he knew when someone was touching him, he knew when his hand was held or if he was being kissed. He felt numb all over his body, he wanted to respond, he truly did, he wanted to move at least in the form of a twitch. He wanted to let them know he was listening, he could hear, but he couldn't respond.

He heard your argument with Yoongi, he could feel his heartbeat skip as the shouting had escalated. When Yoongi had chastised you for your irrational decision of telling Namjoon to just die, to when you cried for him to come back. His body was numb, but he was still in pain, hearing you cry was the worst sound to him.

Every time you'd visit, Namjoon would listen to every word you'd say about how your day was going, even though he couldn't verbally respond, he tried to at least respond mentally. He could slowly feel himself be able to control his body again, he would subtly flex his toes, his eyes would move while they were closed, and he began to control the pace of his breathing from a slow, sleep like state to breathing taking shallower breaths.

Namjoon didn't know how much time had passed, but he felt like he was finally able to wake up again. First, he tried to sit himself up before he opened his eyes, he slowly shifted his legs upward, he bent his arms, and he slowly eased himself upright. A smile spread to his lips as he hears the door to his room open and a gasp came before the sound of things dropping. Namjoon's grin widened, he even laughed a bit. The only thing left for him to do

Was to open his eyes.

~*~

Namjoon's eyes flutter open and adjust to the lighting of the room around him. He could feel again, he could control his actions again, but most importantly; he could see you again.

Your mouth hung agape as you stare at Namjoon, he noticed the cogs in your brain turning as you processed the fact he was awake again. He became concerned when the first tear fell from your eyes, but that was before you practically leapt on top of him in a hug. Your weeping cries fill the room and Namjoon wraps his arms around you protectively.

Your face was buried in the crook of his neck, your tears soaking his clothing, "I'm so sorry, Joonie."

"I know, I heard you say it a thousand times before." You pull away and stare into his dark eyes with bewilderment.

"Y-You heard me?" Namjoon nods his head as his own tears well up.

"Every word," Namjoon swallows hard as he stares at you, "I forgive you, for everything you may have said or done, but I love you more than anything. There's nothing you could do to cause me to stop."

You cling to him tightly, the fear rising in you that if you let go he'd be unconscious again. He could feel how hard your heart pounded, he ran his hand up and down your back soothingly and you melted into him. You felt absolutely terrible, he could hear every word you said, even when you told him to die. How can he love someone who'd say that still?

"I told you to die..." You shudder as the memory plays back into your head, "I thought it would've been the better choice if you left me here alone, so you could be happier somewhere else..." You sit up and wipe your eyes, then you gently wipe the tears off of Namjoon's cheeks.

"I had choices," You breathed out, "choices to either accept myself the way you accept me or to reject myself. I had the choice of staying with you and getting through this issue together or fight alone. I had the choice of losing my stubborn mindset or losing you. I  didn't choose right the first time, and I'm sorry for that."