90 DEADLY DAYS (WEEKLY UPDATES RETURNING THIS DECEMBER)

Chapter 43

My heart pounds. I fidget. Would Jewel be so lighthearted if he said something awful? Not likely. Seeing reason, I calm down and push myself to talk about something else.

Jewel beats me to the punch. She grins.

"We found each other. Now we just need to find Kerry."

The blood drains from my face. Jewel watches me, humor suddenly dying. She looks out at the snow, jaw hardening.

"He's dead, isn't he?"

I cannot answer.

"Oh God."

When she bursts into tears, my skin crawls. A hairs breadth from insanity, I sink into the truth. It rises all around, the stinking, awful truth. It claws its way in and drenches my soul. I cry out. Jewel clasps my hand, weeping so hard her whole body shakes.

If she knew...

...would she hate me?

The den brims with a flood of tears. Some borne of sorrow and some borne of vicious guilt.

Jewel attempts to speak of something else. Every time she does her face pales and she cries some more. Finally, all is quiet. Jewel grieves in silence.

I curl away, unworthy to comfort her.

~~~~~~~

At sunset, a figure looms in the entrance with a young stag thrown over their shoulder. My heart seizes up. The game of make-believe begins. Anticipation sickens my stomach.

"Back in one piece?" Jewel says.

Atol marches in, plunking the dead body in front of the fire. I can see he struggles responding to a kind, playful voice. He stutters when he answers. "...Barely."

"You carried that thing all the way back? How strong are you?"

Atol's shocked laughter hits me. I have never heard him laugh like that. He glances at me. I resist the urge to bolt out of the cave.

"I don't know. How strong am I, Phoenix?"

Make-believe. Pretend.

I can't.

"I don't really care."

Jewel stares at me. I pretend not to notice. Atol clears his throat, clapping dirt off his hands. Another day, another time, that comment would cause a war.

I seize up when he moves closer to Jewel.

"Let me check your bandage."

Jewel touches it.

"It's bothered me a lot today."

Atol frowns, unpeeling the layers. I hold my breath. The sight unveiled behind the wrappings seems normal enough. Atol's calm reaction reassures me.

"Head wounds hurt a lot. But I brought pain relief."

"You angel," Jewel says.

A smile flickers across Atol's face.

"You're an angel compared to your sister."

Jewel guffaws, pushing Atol's shoulder.

"I still have no idea why she called me that."

Her laughter is contagious. Atol slips into its warmth, chuckling along with her.

Jewel grins at me, sticking out her tongue. I try to stifle my laughter, but it bursts free anyway. Jewel turns back to Atol.

"Tell me. Why is she so mean to you?"

My throat constricts. Atol stares at me from out of the corner of his eye.

"She has good reason to be."

My whole body glows. I haphazardly shove a lock of hair behind my ear.

Jewel quiets, glancing between the two of us. Her tone lowers.

"I think, if you apologize honestly, if you show her it comes from the heart, she would forgive you."

Atol presses the last piece of her new bandage in place, growing strangely quiet. I mash the leaves he brought as a painkiller, feeling swollen heat build up in my chest.

After drinking the mixture, Jewel gets even more chatty. Her filter disintegrates, to the point where she tells Atol he has pretty hair. Even I blush. Finally, she leans back, shutting sleepy eyes. Moments later her even breathing proves she sleeps.

I clean up the den, purposely avoiding the hulking figure near the fire. When I have to go nearer to it, I rush by. Atol watches, a familiar frown stretching his pink lips. I take note, backing away from the flames. I squeeze past him, heading for the bed, and curl worried hands into fists.

An arm circles my waist.

I stop, heart beating so fast I can't breathe. Too scared of waking up Jewel and having her see my true reality, I let Atol do what he will. He draws me into his lap. I breathe shakily, looking in his eyes.

"What are you—."

He cages me in his arms and buries his head in my hair. I freeze, feeling our hearts beat in time. His lips press against my shoulder, and though it is incidental and not actually a kiss, my face flames. I close my eyes.

Finally he releases me. No words, no explanation, just lets go.

I stumble to bed. Atol stokes the fire and the den falls into silence.

I tell myself nothing happened.

Nothing changed.