you're my everything ~FILLIE AU~

twelve - feelings

Finn let the smoke fill his lungs as he took a long drag from his cigarette. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall, waiting for the anger to leave his body. 

"What's up with you, man?" Caleb's voice came from beside him, his hands tucked into his jacket as he studied his partner. 

Finn took another drag, "What do you mean?"

"You don't usually smoke this early" Caleb pointed out with raised eyebrows, "something is obviously on your mind."

Finn crushed the cigarette under his boot with a grumble as her face flashed through his mind once more. It was like she had him in a trap, like he was the fly wiggling around in the spiders web, unable to move. Every minute his mind would replay her laugh and he would get flashes of her petite body against his, her lips close to his. But then he would remember her face when he told her she was nobody to him, and the anger would come creeping through his bones. 

He tried to push the feeling away, but he was angry at himself. He had lost a place to stay with a girl that gave more of a shit about him than multiple people had ever done before. He couldn't go back to his shithead of a father that was for sure, but he certainly couldn't go back to Millie either. He had nothing. 

"Let's just get this other with, I really need this to go through. I need money, badly..." he sighed, glancing at Caleb who had his arms crossed over his chest, a look of judgement adorning his features. 

"You having trouble finding somewhere to stay?" Caleb asked, raising his eyebrows. "I thought you said you had found somewhere."

"I can't go back there" Finn shook his head, clenching jaw tight. He forced his face to smooth over and let a smirk grow onto his tired face, "but I can sort something out at the party tonight. I'm sure someone won't mind taking me home."

Caleb chuckled and threw an arm over Finn's shoulder. "Let's go find you a nice hook up, then."

Finn laughed to hide the sick feeling in his stomach. 

...

Parties were something that Finn was used to, a perfect setting to find some entertainment or to pick up some cheap deals to keep people off his back. The loud music drowned out the thumping of his own heart, which almost seemed to be throbbing with panic, wanting him to get out of there. He stepped in and already took note of several girls eyeing him up, smirking as if they had found their evening meal. He pushed back the feeling inside his gut and nodded at them, passing through to the kitchen to get some fuel. 

"Wolfhard, haven't seen you here in a while" an old friend called, his arm around the waist of a curvy blonde. Finn resisted the urge to roll his eyes for ever thinking that the people he used to waste time with were his friends. 

"Yeah" Finn muttered distractedly, pouring himself a glass of vodka to drown his sorrows, the liquid burning his throat on the way down and numbing the ache in his chest that still missed her. He scrunched his face up and took another swig, running a hand over his black curls tiredly. Underneath it all, he was tired of running and hiding in plain sight. His body was weak and wanted to crawl back under Millie's covers and let her caress his cheeks until he fell into a deep peaceful sleep. 

Finn shook the idiotic thoughts away. 

His gaze rose to a small brunette that stared at him coyly from across the room. Her eyes were a light brown and her hair was curly, his eyes unable to look away. After scanning her appearance, he finished his drink and pulled her by the hand up to one of the empty bedrooms. 

A short while later he had the brunette on his lap, his hands running up her back, gripping her skin tightly as if trying to turn her into someone else. The girl was eager and running her hands through his curls, but instead of feeling like he could fall asleep, he felt irritated. He moved her hands down to his chest and continued to kiss her deeply, clenching his eyes shut to block out the noise in his head. She threw her shirt off but Finn simply found himself growing bored as she moved down to harshly suck on his neck, the sick feeling in his stomach intensifying.