Journey To Rabbit Hole

Part 42 ( Road to new Home )

A/N: Still here? YEAH lets *High Five* 😉😉
Some don't like it when i asked Beam forgive them... i know it too. But can we learn about forgiveness...aren't it is beautiful?. Thank you for stayed with me. I purple yall. 💜💜💜

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Beam's POV

Son... i know, it is not fair for me asking you to forgive me. But... your mothers...don't blamed her. Just blamed it all on me...

I can't control my tears.

I already have my answer. I tried to calmed down. And i did.

This warm feeling. The warm that i been longing for.

I won't judge the way all of you think too. I don't want to think about what that had happened. Thanks for tellling me everything... I Meant every word that i said that to him.

I found peace in me when i forgive them. Rather than hatred penetrated in me. I take gut to make a change and i am willing to take it.

Aren't this world to beautiful to live in shallow and hollow?.

So I choose to live with the moments that i want. We live this moments once in life. I want to be feel the warm. I want to love myself and to be loved and love back the way it is. Give and take.

So for now... i guess we should stay for 2 to 3 days then. I still feel awkward actually. He willing to admit he make a mistake. He gave me a reason to forgive them by telling me the whole truth. I think it was enough.

Yes i was hurt when i know the truth behind it. But if that is the way to fix it and we have come to surface... facing it and build it again. I am willing.

I was angry to my mother...i am...and after i saw her condition. She lied on the bed look so hopeless. When i learned that she was depressed. I know i am not the only one whose was hurt. All of us was hurt. Fair or not fair...i damn so tired to compare ours broke and fall. Because it will never end.

They was apologise to me, Mom did...Uncle John did and James too. I know being sorry can be hard when we are overwhelmed with pride. But it is time when our pride must take a fall before we lose out and regretted it and drawn to that hatred again.

Some might view forgiveness as virtue for the weak. Am i that weak and easy?. I think...i ask about it frequent of time.

An act of mercy...they said it pointless and underserved. I used to think the same, but when i asked myself that time... i see myself still crying instead of happy after i said those word.

The word that far from my heart wanted to convey. Obviously i been doing thing out my heart and mind. I been follow my grudges and judgments.

Now...i can't saying to myself that I learned a lot... to forgive people...to loving myself...follow my heart.

But deep down...I felt peace. I see new turning point, so i decided and choose to start again.

Because we all make mistake... i am not perfect either. And i believed with my tiniest choices, to let the sadness moments flown by and replace it by joy. Everything is clear now...like you staring at blue sky, it is beautiful whether at day light and night time.  Like you looking further at the ocean...that you know sea never reached the end. I give the most honest smile to myself today.

The moment i come today to met my mother...to met with uncle and James... deep inside i already forgive them. I am glad to being here...to be invited... home.

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Third's Person POV

The next day John introduces Beam to Dr. Aum Chaichua, So Beam found out she was the Dr that work personally for this family...she observed his mother conditions too. Grace have been refused to stayed at the hospital for long time but at home instead.