I Wont Let You Go

11.

-Next Morning (Sunday)-

When I woke up, I heard shuffling in the room. I sat up and Theo was looking through his closet. "Theo..." He turned to me but looked down. He's in some deep shit..

"How bad is it?" He shook his head. "Pretty bad.. they don't trust me alone anymore. I'm grounded for a month. I can't go out anywhere except for school and practice. I have to tend to whatever they want. But thank you." I furrowed my eyebrows. "For?"

"Cleaning. You saved my ass from getting more time grounded." I smiled. "I'm just glad you're okay." He looked at me and smiled. "I was worried you know."

"If I got to spend a night in jail I would be too." I laughed. "No not about me. I couldn't care less about me staying the night there. I was worried for you, I'm sorry."

"There's no need to be sorry Theodore."

"Yes there is. I should've been here for you last night."

I got out of the bed and hugged him which took him by surprise. "You've done so much already. Like giving me a lap to cry on. Thank you." I laughed and he smiled. He gave me a quick squeeze and let go. "Mom said she wanted to see you."

"Who told them?" He looked at me. "I guess Jake asked them if they knew. Dad did. Mom didn't. Then I had to tell her when I called her to let her know why you had to spend the night here."

"Thank you." I walked out scared for whatever may happen. "Good morning baby. Can you wake Jake. Breakfast has been ready for a while."

The first thing he did, was hug me which made me want to cry. We had a quiet breakfast before Alice pulled me out to the backyard.

"So baby. Tell me. How are you feeling?" I sighed. The back door slid open and Josiah came out. He took a seat right next to me and placed a hand on my knee. "I wanna apologize. I knew about your dad and Beth but I didn't say anything."

"Its fine. I don't resent you for it. It's not your place to tell me and I understand, I do. I'm not mad at you." He gave me a warm smile as he hugged me. "Is it okay if I stay for this talk or shall I go inside?" I smiled.

"You're like my second dad. You can stay." He smiled.

"I don't hate my dad. I'm happy he's into someone."

"You are?" Asked Alice. "I am. That's all I ever wanted for him. To find someone who makes him happy again. As much as he doesn't like to show it, he's been miserable without mom. I just... it hurts that its been half a year and he hasn't mentioned one word of it. It just makes me question him. What if I don't even like the woman and he's over here having a secret relationship with her what if he decides to marry her? Like he has to understand that it doesn't just affect him but it affects me too."

"I think you should talk to him. Hear his side. Have him hear your side. Work it out baby. He loves you mama. So much. You're his everything." She said and I smiled.

"He told me he didn't tell you because he wanted to know if she was worth even introducing you to her. That if you didn't like her, that relationship wouldn't continue. So he does value what you think. But I can't tell you why its been 6 months." I sighed.

"I should get going. Thank you. So much. I love you guys, more than you can imagine." I hugged Josiah first. "No one can ever replace my mom, but u do a great job at filling that void and I hope you know how much I love you and I don't know what I would do without you." I hugged her and she teared up. "You'll always be the daughter Ive never had, mama. I love you."

I took my time driving home but took even longer unlocking the front door, I just stood there looking at it for sometime before actually opening it.

"Cordelia?" I heard as I closed it. "Yeah.." He rushed over and hugged me. "We need to talk." He sighed. "I know baby. Come on."

"I'm sorry.. I'll break up with her-"

"What? No."

"No?" He looked at me puzzled.

"I want you to be happy. I do. And if she makes you happy so be it. I just want to meet her. Not now. Not for a little while, but I do. Just know that all this affects me too not just you. And if I don't get along with her, don't try and force me."

"So you're not mad?" He questioned. "Yes and no... why didn't you tell me about her? Am I not important?" Just that question made him cry. "Of course you are. You're my world baby. I just didn't want to introduce you to her if I didn't think it would last."

"So 6 months is completely a short amount of time right?" I asked sarcastically. "No.. I just.." He trailed off. "You weren't planning on telling me anytime soon and that's what really hurts me dad. You're bringing her into my living space without me even knowing it." Now I'm crying.

"If I hadn't walked in on you would it take another 6 months? A year? Would you have gotten married and not tell me? That's what hurts. Because here I am thinking we have such an amazing relationship, that we trust each other but you couldn't even tell me dad and just that makes me question you."

"I would never intentionally hurt you."

"Do you love her?" He gulped. "I really like her. No where near as much as I loved your mom. I don't think I'll ever love someone as much as I loved her."

So we spent a good hour crying. I'll never forget this and I'll always be hurt. I would like to meet her but not anytime soon. I just have to process this.

"I don't want her in the house. Not until I meet her." He nodded. "Okay baby."

This is physically and emotionally draining. I texted Jake then Theo separately. Whether I like it or not, Theo is now an even bigger part of my life. And with that... I can't deny it anymore... the way he's been treating me so kind... I can't talk myself out of it anymore... I like him.

I heard taps on my balcony doors and I went over. Theo was standing there. "What are you doing?" I whispered as I closed the doors. "I wanted to see how you're holding up?"

I sighed as I took a seat on a chair. He pulled the other one closer to mine and took a seat. "I think we'll be okay."

"Good." "Wait.. what the fuck are you doing here? Aren't you grounded? How'd you get here?" He chuckled. "They think I'm home and I walked here." We live in the same neighborhood but on opposite ends.

"What if you get caught?" He smiled. "You're worth getting in trouble for." He shrugged and I could feel my cheeks get hot.

"You're delusional."

"Just a bit." He said and I laughed. "Soo are you gonna meet her?" I shook my head no. "I don't want to... just yet. I need time to process all of this."

"What would your mom want?"

"She told him she wanted him to find someone that loved not just him but me as well... but I don't know.. I don't wanna talk about it. So what are you gonna do for a whole month of no partying?" I laughed and he sighed. "I really don't know. I don't think I can even go shopping so I don't even know. I can't even have friends over."

"Well if you ever need anything, I'm the only friend that can actually go." I shrugged as I laughed and he smiled. "Thank you Lia.. I should get going." He stood up and hugged me. "Let me drive you." I offered. "Its okay."

"Shut up. Climb down and wait for me at the front."

I went to put shoes on. "Hey dad.. I'll be back. I need to drop off something to Jake." He nodded.

"So I'll distract them and you can go in through the back." He nodded.

I rang the doorbell and Josiah opened it. "Hey babe." "Hey. I came to drop off these to Jake." I held up a bag of his clothes and he smiled. "Come on in." He moved out of the way. "Jake!" He called out. "Hey baby girl. How'd it go?" Asked Alice. "Lots of crying but we're good." She smiled and she hugged me. "Hey." Came in Jake. "I thought you'd like these back." I handed him the bag. "Thanks Li!"

"Hey Lia." Theo came down the stairs. Ok we're good. "Hey. I should get going. See you guys tomorrow." I waved as I walked out.