Past, Present, No Future. (Harry Styles)

68. Lost Boy

I heard nothing whilst I looked out the window, then I felt a thump hit my head making me look back and glare at Niall.

"What the hell was that for?!" I exclaimed bringing my hand go the back of my head.

"Why did you break up?" he asked, all of a sudden serious.

"She didn't want to continue the relationship, bloody hell Niall why did you hit so hard?" I said rubbing my wound.

"That's besides the point, Haz" he told me, "What the hell happened in America?"

I sighed once again, "I'm asking myself the same question" I murmured too silent for Niall to hear.

"Niall, what happened is between Vanessa and I" I hesitated.

Next to me is one of my friends; but he's not just my friend, he's my mate. As annoying, and loud, and incredibly stupid he is, and as much as I hate to say it. I trusted Niall, with my life.

"I told her I didn't love her" I said, "After she said she loved me"

"And?" he asked, glancing over to me every few seconds from looking at the road, "Knowing you Harry, you'll have some deep ass reason for this"

"Nope, no deep ass reason. There was just something in the way of me saying it back"

"Haz, I have never, and will never understand your metaphors"

"The other guy, Niall, the other guy"

"Aaaa, yes. The one you beat the shit out of"

"Not to be spoken of, Niall" I muttered looking over to him, "Anyways, his name was Louis"

"I know someone named Louis" Niall said looking over to me.

"It might not be the same guy, he's in Florida"

Niall nodded, "Can I just ask one question?" Niall asked having me respond with a sly "Sure"

"Are you just blaming this Louis guy because he's the first to come to mind?"

"That makes no sense"

"Okay" Niall said turning out of the street, parking the car and turning his body to face me, "You, my friend, are feeding me bullshit"

I stayed silent for him to continue.

"Harry, it's completely obvious the reason you're blaming Louis for your break up is because you're avoiding blaming yourself"

Still stayed silent.

"Just tell me what's up with you"

It took me a while to reply, but when I did I said, "I'm afraid Niall"

"Afraid of what?" he asked sounding quite annoyed.

"The last time I loved a girl, she died. I refuse to let anything bad happen to Vanessa"

"Okay, okay" Niall said as I waited for him to restart the car, "Yet leaving her after she says she loves you won't hurt her?"

I sighed looking out the window as a sign that I wanted to stop talking about this.

"Say what's on your mind about this right now, pretend I'm not here" he explained refusing to drop the topic, "No holding back, no this 'being afraid' shit, no lying. None of that"

I breathed in looking down at my hands. No holding back, no being afraid, no lying.

"I love her"

I really do.

~ Vanessa's _ POV +

I didn't want to get up. I don't want to awaken to the people I had to face and I didn't want to open my eyes and not see Harry there lying next to me.