LOOK AT ME (Muslim Story)

He looked at me (32)

I didn't know where I was going at first. But then I found myself standing in front of Fatima's house, throwing rocks at her window.

It was dark outside, a thunder storm going on. My hair was soaked and my clothes were so damp, it was beginning to stick to my body. My phone is dead and I have nowhere to go.

All because I brought up Islam.

I always knew my dad was strict, but I never knew that this is what it would come to if I dared speak about another religion. I knew it would be bad, and that he'd get mad, but never did I think ONCE that he would kick me out.

May Allah guide him for real.

My teeth were chattering and my cheeks felt like they were changing colours from when I looked st my reflection in a puddle.

"Fatima!" I threw another pebble, "It's me, Emerald!"

Nothing.

I didn't see a car in the driveway but I still assumed that she was there because there was a light on from the place where it was bright. I had a feeling that even if someone was home and it wasn't Fatima, they wouldn't even want me to come because of me.

I started to give up slowly. It was cold. Really cold. So cold that if I stayed any longer I would die.

I started to cry but I bet it wasn't noticeable since the rain was falling all over my face.

"Please!" I Shouted one last time but no one was there.

I didn't know what I was going to do. Where was I supposed to go to get shelter? I was barely dressed, I was cold out of my mind and I didn't know how I was going to Survive out here.

I cussed under my breath, "Fuck."

There was one idea left in my mind but I knew it wasn't an option. Ahmed's house.

I want to go and I want him to let me go because I want to see him again and I want him to comfort me. My life right now, my body right now? It needs a break.

He's the type of person to help me but I doubt that he would because of his mom. Did you see how she treated me the other day? Like some dirt. All because I'm not muslim.

Yet.

I looked at the skies, and the midnight. It was so dark outside, the street lights were about a mile away from each other. I had to walk down the wet roads, no cars in sight.

Something tells me just to go to Ahmed's house because maybe he could help me. Maybe he'll sneak me in, without his mom knowing.

I decided that I should at least try because I wasn't going to let myself die in this weather because there's so many things I need to do about myself first, so many things I need to fix before I leave this world.

It take long before I was standing outside Ahmed's door. There wasn't a car in the driveway either and I didn't see anything there. If there was no one home then I have no choice but to go to some homeless shelter or something.

I saw The light in Ahmed's bedroom on and my heart skipped a beat.

I picked up a pebble in the mud and threw it at the window weakly, "Hey!" I cried out, "Ahmed! Help."

I didn't wait for a response when I picked up another pebble and threw it again, hitting the rail this time but I think it would still make enough noise to be heard.

It took a couple of tries to be noticed. His car wasn't here but I still hoped that he was. I had faith.

"Ahmed!" I called again, my voice cracking from the pain I'm feeling on the inside, the recovered injuries all over my body and the thought and meteorites of how much shit I've been through in so many little months. I'm surprised I'm not suicidal.