She Healed Me | Severus Snape

Chapter 26

I bet you guys thought things would be easier now. NOPE. Come on, this is Severus Snape we're talking about here. Nothing is easy with him.

And to your guys' displeasure (I'm sure), ya girl was feeling like writing some ANGST. Get ready y'all.

🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Listen: Leta's Confession by James Newton Howard

26| misunderstanding

Lucia had never felt so embarrassed in her life. She was a grown woman in her mid-thirties and she'd acted like a teenager. She had been obviously tipsy when Severus came to see her. Oh how ridiculous she must have looked to him. She could only imagine how much of a mess she was that night.

Then to make matters worse, she looked over his comfort and decided to seduce him. What was her inebriated self thinking? He was only there to be supportive and offer her advice. But instead of truly listening to him, she couldn't help but be distracted. The idea of kissing him had crossed her mind before of course. She just couldn't believe she actually went through with it. He must have been repulsed by the way she just grabbed him and forced a kiss on him. He was so caught off guard afterwards that he awkwardly helped her clean up the wine she spilled. Then he had to help her to her bedroom, afraid she'd stumble and hurt herself. He was so quick to leave after.

Lucia was so embarrassed of herself that she could hardly look at Severus for the rest of the weekend. Detoxing herself was a challenge in itself the following day after that dreadful evening. She knew ignoring Severus wouldn't sit well with him, and that perhaps it wasn't a good idea. How could she do that? And how could she ever face Severus again?

Just thinking about it again made her sick to her stomach. She had worked so hard to get Severus to open up to her and see her as a friend. Someone he could trust. And now she ruined everything. Maybe she deserved it.

It was just her luck that that was the day Andrew decided to finally respond back to her. Lucia felt like screaming when that letter arrived to her chambers. She wasn't allowed to even wallow in self-pity peacefully without being interrupted. She did mean what she said to Severus about Andrew. He wasn't going to get to her so easily, but reading his short note nearly broke her resolve. He wanted to see her.

Lucia wasn't the only one thinking about that night or Andrew. Severus was in his lab brewing countless potions, as he had been in all his free time since the other night. He worried about Lucia, he truly did. He had the feeling she was avoiding him because of what happened. The Andrew issue, in his mind, was settled so he didn't think to worry over that. Instead his worry was directed towards what to do next. He understood her embarrassment for taking such brash actions. But she was clearly too out of it to fully think through what she did.

That's not to say he didn't enjoy it. Oh no, Severus was secretly overjoyed at the sudden turn the evening took. The feeling of her lips against his lingered until he was back in his own chambers. Her body pressed against his felt right, and he had to admit he enjoyed it immensely. But he couldn't tell her. Not with the overwhelming fear of being rejected. Perhaps it was nothing more than an accident influenced by alcohol. No feelings involved.

But Severus didn't want to believe that. There had to be more to it than alcohol. The way she kissed him didn't feel based purely on lust. There was a certain tenderness to it; a feeling that belonged to deeper feelings. But he didn't want to get his hopes up however. Not if she could just turn around and say it was a mistake. He didn't know if he could handle hearing that from her.

Sighing in frustration and needing a break from his brewing, Severus decided enough was enough. If Lucia wasn't going to take her embarrassment in stride, he'd have to stomp it out himself. He refused to allow her to think he would just let that kiss go. Even if that meant he would have to push aside his pride and admit his feelings. Well, that was questionable.