All of this past

Li

Li,

My dearest Li,

I want to appologise in advance for this letter being short. I have to leave in half an hour and I won't be at home for a little under two weeks, but I really wanted to reply to you. I promise I will get back to you when I'm back and I have caught up on sleep.

I don't want you to feel like you're bothering me, ever. Still loving you means that I still want to be there for you. I know that we never got to that point where we promised it to each other, through the good and the bad, and even the ugly, but that doesn't mean I don't want to. 

Talking about the ugly, I blame you for my vanity. I never cared a bit about how I looked (okay, I did care, but I never did anything about it) until you helped me taming my mess of hair. And that's as close as you're going to get me to admitting that I dye my hair out of vanity.

Oh Liam, my heart broke when I read your last letter. I wish I could tell you it goes away, and when it does, but I can't. I've only ever lost you and Emily, and both of those situations can't compare in any way with what you're going through. With Emily, it was weird because I suddenly was on my own again, after living with her for so many years, but the love had been gone for a long time. With you, I'm not sure if it ever went away. I sometimes still miss finding you leaning on the kitchen counter, even though you never even lived here. And I think about you every single time I curse at myself for not changing the garbage bag after I've taken it outside. You hated it when that happened, didn't you?

Listen Li, my driver is going to be here soon, but I just had this crazy idea, and I do understand if you don't want to. It's just that I'm having a concert not far from where you live now in a few weeks, and I could get you a ticket, if you want to. Or more, if you want to bring someone. 

Just, don't stop writing okay? And don't ever think that you're bothering me with it, please.

I love you,

Haz