Thanks for the text "Patrick"

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I had woken up from a little nap to my phone ringing and I quickly answered it.

"Ello?, Patrick Stump here!"

"Stump! Its Michael Mcintyre here, uhhh your on the show for Send To All in like 2 hours you up?"

"Shit! Uhh, yea im up I'll be there in like less than 2 hours so I dont miss this, this sounds like a lot of fun mate!"

"No problem, you dont mind doing this right?"

He asked. I then laughed and told him I was so pumped to do this!

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"Everyone please welcome the one and only, Mr.Patrick Stump!"

The host said, I then sat in the little booth above everyone. He then got me to put my phone into a pillow and he cranked the leaver and it slowly went down. He got it and just for this I took my passcode off.

"Now, Mr.Stump, who is this cute little boy in your background?"

He asked, the phone was hooked upto a larger screen with a phone print around it and the audience awed and clapped.

"Uhhh, that is my son. Declan!" 

He then went onto my messages and I then blushed really hard not knowing what I was in for.

"Ooooo! Who is this contact under "BABE!" Is this your wife?"

"Oh uh no that's my girlfriend, Ashley! My wife left me a while back."

He then apologised and started to type something to her.

"Hey, what do you call Ashley? Like baby orrrr?"

"Uhh, sweetheart?"

I blushed, the crowd awed and said some really nice things. Then Michael messaged her really embarrassing things like, "Hey sexy, what are you doing right now" and some other funny cute things, he then told her that we were going to do something really sexy tonight and that was NOT like me at all but it did sound amazing.

"Right! SEND!"

He yelled laughing. I then face palmed and blushed so hard then he messaged the group chat that me and the band had.

"Hey guys, cant come to recording studio tonight so sorry, me and the misses are going to have a night out just the two of us ya know? No child, no interruptions or nothing!"

Everyone then laughed and THEN he messaged my mother, pretending to be messaging Ashley but purposely sending it to the wrong person and it went a little like this, (WARNING SMUT)

"Hey sexy, im going to bang you so hard tonight that you won't be able to walk for a week! Get ready, Im on my way home with nothing but my sexy looks and your favourite fedora!"

I then almost started to cry of how much I was embarrassed but it did sound like something I wanted to do to Ashley so maybe tonight things might get a little heated until we got a reply from my MOTHER!

"Ooooo hahaha mommy is mad at you Stump! Hehehe!"

"Oh no, what did she say?"

"She said, In all capitals, PATRICK MARTIN VAUGHN STUMPH! I DON'T CARE IF THIS WAS FOR THAT PETTY NEW GIRLFRIEND OF YOURS BUT I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU TWO HAVE ANYMORE CHILDREN, ELISA WAS GOOD ENOUGH TO GIVE US A GRANDSON AND I DO NOT WANT ANYMORE GRANDCHILDREN HEAR ME YOUNG MAN?"

Everyone laughed and then I bit my bottom lip in shock that she didn't like my girlfriend.

"Oh wow, ok uhh what did Ashley say?"

"Hmmm, she said, Oh My Gosh! What goes on in your sex life Patrick?"

"Uhh, none of your business, tell me what she said!"

I laughed and then Michael laughed, his laugh was worse than Jamie Oliver, man he had a hilarious laugh.

"O- ok wow mate your probably going to hate me for reading this to you OUT LOUD."

"Maybe so but come on mate!"

I said, then he started to read out what she replied.

"Hmm, kinky? But I really thought you were working tonight!, But if you insist maybe when you get back from your sister's then I will sure be ready. I have been thinking lately of how Declan was begging us for a younger (step) sibling the other night and he is playing with Ruby so well, Marie is very impressed with his "Baby sitting!" Yeah I am at the Trohmans and uh Joe is right here laughing his ass off. He then got the message you sent the group and that reminds me I probably need to tell you, us girls have a chat too and we talk about the last time we have had sex with our fabulous men and what to get you guys for christmas. I have to go but I will see you tonight you kinky fedora wearing Stump! Xo Xo Xo Xo Xo"

Wow. Everyone was laughing and clapping, I am so glad that this show is adults only.

"Well then, you kinky fedora wearing Stump!"

Everyone laughed and then this just in a reply from the band.

"Per?, who is Per?"

"Oh god! That is Pete, uh his real name is Peter and I just think Per is kinda good like its Peter with one E and no T? I dunno lol!"

"Ohhh, haha witch one is Pete again? Just so everyone knows!"

"Uh pete is one out of two of the Basists!"

Everyone clapped and cheered.

"Now Trohmania? Is that Joe?"

"Ha ha yeah, we call him that because MAN IA is our new album and Joe is the lead bassist and he insisted on calling himself that but we just usually call him Joe or J-dog, I dont know?"

Everyone laughed harder at that one and they all clapped for the new album.

"Now just Andy? does he not have a nickname?"

"uhh, no not really, ok what did they say?"

"Hmm, Oh ok. Andy said, say hi to Smash for us, have fun with her (not too much fun or Declan might be a big brother XD) X D? w- what does that mean and who is Smash?"

I then laughed and then when he asked me what X D meant I kinda looked concerned.

"X D? Well you put them together and it kinda looks like a really cheesy excited face like the X are your eyes squinting and the D is the shape of your mouth like it looks like a big D, Smash is Ashley they call her Ash or Smash or anything that rhymes with Ash I guess lol!"

When I got home I remembered what "I" had messaged Ashley and I was so thankful that Declan was at his mother's house for a few nights. I went upstairs to see my girlfriend lying in nothing but her dressing robe and she was just sitting up in bed on her computer, it looks like she just got out of the bath. I then put my coat down and it make a loud sort of noise than she looked up at me surprised. That night we made sweet sweet love and when she fell asleep on my chest, right before I was about to doze off I quickly texted Michael.

"Hey Michael, thanks for a great show today, Ashley is tuckered out and lets just say we had an amazing night, in bed, doing you know what. Sweet dreams. P.Stump"

He just replied thanking me for coming in and saying I was more than welcome.

"I love you Ash!"

"Mhmm I love you more, 'Trick"

We then "argued" on who loved each other the most and she won like always but deep, deep down I always tell myself I always win. Then we both fell into a deep sleep and woke up really late and stayed in bed most of the day kissing and cuddling.


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