little piece of heaven (tony stark's daughter)

12

rosie's p.o.v

i'm upside down. i'm upside down and my back hurts and so does my head and i want to be held by my dad and my mom and to go home. i've had enough. a blast shakes the beam i'm hanging from and i slip, my back losing contact with the metal and i have to hook my legs around it quickly so they're the only things keeping me up. i'm literally dangling 100 feet off of the ground and i hate it. no matter how hard i try i can't get my wings to open, i still have that shooting pain in my side every time i move and my stomach keep glowing as if i'm some kind of night light. 

i didn't mean to cry, but there's always a point where everything gets too much and you just can't help it anymore. small sobs escape my mouth as i have no choice but to just stare at the ground below me. my curls are hanging too, and i begin to wish i carried a hair tie with me so that i could keep them out of my face and the pathetic thought only prompts me to cry more. i just want my dad. 

as if by magic, a voice cuts through the bitter air "hang on roos i'm gonna get you" dad shouts, climbing up to the metal platform. he isn't close enough though, i know he isn't. i can already see what's going to happen, there's no way that he's going to catch me. i'm doomed. i'm going to fall to my death, right into the pit of fire that's so excitedly waiting for my flesh to fuel it's flames. great, incredible, just wonderful. "roo i got you, relax, i got you" he lies, his hand stretched up towards me. 

"no you don't" i cry, i'm not letting him kid me. in a few moments the building will jolt and i will fall. we'll make eye contact and he'll shout and then i'll die. we've come a bit far to change the future now. "i've seen it dad" i whimper "i know what's going to happen, you can't do anything". cold wind blows my curls all around me as i continue to take deep breaths which do nothing but make me dizzy. 

"no don't say that" he shakes his head, leaning forwards so that his arm reaches slightly further towards me "just look at me" he orders as the structure shifts and i slide even further down the beam with a yelp of pain. "honey i can't reach any further and you can't stay there all right? you've gotta let go" dad's eyes lock onto mine and i just stare at him uselessly. panic is written across both of our faces, it's seeped into our voices and it isn't leaving any time soon. i knew my lucky streak couldn't last forever but i really didn't think this was going to be it. i didn't get a chance to say goodbye to anyone, what about pepper? and neo? and jupes?

 i'll never get the opportunity to tell pepper that i love her and that she's my real mom. i'll never get to see her and dad be happy together and marry in a pretty church. i'll never get to cuddle between her and dad in bed again, never wake up and have dad refer to me as his snuggle bud and then have pepper braid my hair and take me to school. i miss going to school, cause that's what normal kids do, right? they go to school and they complain about being bored and tired. i wish i was bored. i'll never be able to take neo on a walk by myself, like dad always promised i could when i got older. it sounds dumb but it's little pieces of independence that i look forward to as i grow up that i won't get to experience now. i won't be able to cuddle with my collie whilst it's storming and he's frightened, i won't be there to smooth his fur and calm him down with soft singing. i'm not going to get the chance to see my little brother grow up. i won't be there to tell him that it's okay that there's no one like us, or that he doesn't need to be afraid because things always work out. it's the little lies that make everything momentarily better. i won't ever get to take him to school or watch him in the christmas musical or look back and laugh with him at how the world used to seem like it was ending. 

and then there's dad. i won't ever be able to sing for him, something i used to do but haven't been able to work up the courage since i was seven. i won't be able to sit down at the piano and play a duet with him, or be enveloped in his arms and pressed against his chest after a ballet recital or a dance competition. i won't get to go to the fair with him again, or bake brownies with him again, or sing mulan songs with him again. it was always meant to be us together, fighting through whatever the world chucked at us because from the day i was thrown into the world we've suffered pain and loss. 

maybe i'm the problem. maybe the only reason bad things happen to dad and pepper is because i'm a bad omen, maybe i carry bad energy or luck around with me and whoever is unfortunate enough to be anywhere near gets dragged into the whirlwind of destruction and terror. perhaps once i'm gone, things will settle down for them. they might be able to have normal lives, together. they could get married and have a baby and remember me but not be too sad. maybe by dying, i'll be doing what i'm supposed to do, guarding the earth. it's not as if i've done a very good job of it so far; it's harder than it sounds. 

i wonder where i'll go when i die, if i'll end up on asgard or just cease to exist completely. maybe after my satan stunt i'll end up in hell. suppose that would be a little bit my fault, at least i could fit in. who knows, maybe i'd end up befriending the devil and we'd have a great time. there's really no knowing what's coming next. i've never really been a big fan of the unknown. i suppose knowing what's happening since the age of eight means that when that sense is stripped away, i'm left feeling a little vulnerable.

"please don't forget me" i whimper, suddenly deciding that if these are my last moments then i'd better at least say something useful "i love you". my body aches both with pain and the knowledge that i don't have long left. "i love pep and rhodey and auntie nat and clint and happy" i sniff "don't let them forget me".

"no one's forgetting you cubs come on, i'll catch you i promise" he begs, and i know he's going to blame it on himself. he'll probably go back to drinking, him and pepper will fall apart, he'll drive everyone away. i don't want him to be alone, not again. it's not fair. "come on baby, you can do it".

"i can't dad, i'm sorry" my voice trails off into a whisper as tears flood my eyes "please tell pepper i love her and she's my mommy" when i don't receive a response i cry a little harder "i love you daddy". 

everything goes in slow motion after that. the platform drops, and i fall straight off of it. dad's arms are outstretched but i know that he's not going to catch me, i can just feel it. and i'm oddly relaxed, almost at peace with myself as i fall because there's nothing i can do about it now except wait. you can't fight what's already won. the burning heat of the fire as i fall into it as almost comforting, along with the resounding thud as my body hits the ground full-force.