epilogue

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rosie's p.o.v

"roo? there you are, look, i know i promised we could just stay at home but i have an emergency i need to sort out in my office and i really can't avoid it. i promise it won't be for long, but we have to go as soon as possible".

i want to go back.

the new promise immediately after a broken one doesn't exactly fill me with confidence, and i look up at pepper with big eyes. i'm in the dance studio, i was dancing but before pepper came in i had frozen to look at myself in the mirrors.

you can't hide from yourself, rosalie.

"do we have to?" i whine, already knowing the answer. it's pointless to even argue really, but i don't feel like going outside right now, i just want to be at home, it's safe at home.

you can't be safe anywhere, not when you're the danger.

pepper radiates sympathetic energy "i'm sorry rose". my stomach twists and i fight to keep the contortion out of my facial expression. i don't need dad or pep hovering.

you don't need to worry about that, they don't want you either.

"well.. can i just stay here? i'll be okay and i've got jarvis and neo. i'll call you if i need anything, and dad isn't too far away" i push my bottom lip out a little in an attempt to play on the sympathy card "please pep".

stop it, you're ridiculous.

the redhead bites her lip and breathes heavily through her nose "okay.. okay, but if you need anything at all just ask jarvis to ring me. i won't be long, an hour max i promise".

promises mean nothing, you could easily promise anyone anything.

"love you pep".

"love you too".

bullshit, pure bullshit. nobody loves you, how could they? you're a monster, a hybrid.

as soon as pepper left i went back to staring at myself. i could almost pass as normal, my brunette curls that bounce all the way down to my waist, my big blue eyes are wide and innocent, freckles dance along my cheeks and my nose like little stars. but it's as soon as my pink lips part to lie, it's as soon as my tiny hands ball into fists because someone says something that my head doesn't like, it's as soon as i lose control of myself and my eyes turn that vile shade of purple and the candles flicker out and the mirrors shatter and everything crumbles around me, that's the part of me that i can't get rid of.

it's like loki said, i can pretend to be normal all i like, i can pretend to be safe, to not be repulsive, but it's always underneath. as soon as someone breaks my barrier i break right back, right into pieces. it doesn't take much to send me flailing over the edge, and then my wings will open and my antlers appear and it's suddenly so blatantly, painfully obvious that i'm a freak.

i never should have existed.

i never should have existed.

i never should have existed.

a sob i didn't know i was suppressing fights it's way out of my chest and tears begin to cascade down my cheeks as if my face is a waterfall and i'm just a stone exhibit for people to stare at and poke.

"miss stark, you appear to be in distress, would you like me to contact boss?".

my ribs seem to close in on my lungs, the space for air to enter getting smaller by the second. i'm choking on desperate breaths which do nothing but cause me to panic more.

"miss stark i suggest you take deep breaths".

the cry that escapes my mouth is pathetic and pitiful, yet it rings in my ears continuously after.

"i'm alerting mr stark and miss potts to your situation".

my wings spread out behind me and then retract again, open, close, open close. my eyes have started to glow, started to turn that colour that makes my heart skip beats and my stomach turn.

i'm ugly.

i'm ugly.

i'm ugly.

i shouldn't exist, i shouldn't be here. i shouldn't be anywhere, there's nowhere where i belong, where i can be restricted, prevented from harming others.

i don't belong.

i don't belong.

i don't, i don't, i can't, i won't ever.

"mr stark is on his way, he wants you to take deep breaths and hang on, he'll be there in a few minutes, just hang on".

there's no one like me, i'm completely alone. alone.

i used to be scared of normal things, when i was normal, when i thought i was normal. i was scared of forgetting my homework, and pepper leaving, and the fact that one day i'll die. now i'm scared that the asgardians will find out what i am, that they'll hunt me. i'm scared that my dad will get himself killed and i'll be alone. i'm scared that someday i'll lose my cool over something stupid and i'll hurt someone, that i'll kill them.

"rosie?! roo?!"

i don't want to be me anymore, i don't want wings, i don't want horns. i want to be normal, it's all i want, normality.

"hey hey hey hey breathe, come on roo breathe" hands clamp themselves onto my shoulders and pull me towards a warm body. i collapse onto them and i'm immediately enveloped by arms.

"i don't want to, i don't want to anymore, i don't- i can't" the words fall out of my mouth in between sobs and i'm fully aware of the fact that i'm making absolutely no sense.

"what roo? i don't understand baby you need to breathe".

"i don't- i don't want to be a hybrid, i want to be normal".

a hand cups the back of my head and pulls me to their chest "rosie" their voice wobbles a little "roo you're beautiful, you're so beautiful".

i've managed to clear my head enough to realise that it's my dad i'm crying on, his presence a little grounding "they'll kill me" i cry "they'll kill me if they find out, and loki" i pause to take in another shaky breath "loki said that i-" i'm cut off by yet another pathetic sob that shakes my chest and i fall into tears again.

"rosalie" he sighs "rosie look at me".

i keep my eyes closed and my face down, because this is embarrassing and it's stupid, and he's probably going to have a go at me for being so dumb and disturbing his work.

"look at me" dad's tone is firmer this time, so i open my eyes and lift my chin "nobody, nobody is going to kill you. i will not let them, no one will let them, you got that?".

i nod in response.

"and as for loki.." dad closes his eyes for a second, as if he's so mad that he can't even focus on the situation "don't you let anyone like that tell you what's okay to be and what isn't. i'm telling you, you're beautiful, you're so pretty roos. your wings are incredible, your antlers are adorable, and i'm pretty sure you're ten times as powerful as any of the avengers" he pauses again "you're incredible, no one will ever deserve you, or be good enough for you, never. loki's just jealous because his horns looked ridiculous".

i can't help but laugh and dad chuckles along with me "jeez you scared me" he finally says "i don't want you ever doubting yourself".

"but there's no one else like me".

"make it a good thing, different doesn't mean bad".





heyyyy

sooooooooooooo what are your thoughts?

anything you want to see happen in iron man 3, ultron, and civil war? i have a rough plan but i'm totally open to ideas.

i won't be incuding infinity war because it's frankly depressing and i don't want to, but i have a solid plan for what comes after home coming.

what are we thinking about rosie now? have your opinions changed? let me knowww.

don't forget to vote and comment any of your thoughts, i really hope you've enjoyed the story thus far.

love yousss

arwen xxx

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