I'm A Walking Disaster (jalex)

Having Trouble Finding Sleep

Chapter six

Title from Keep The Change Ya Filthy Animal by All Time Low

Closure group.

Since we started there has been four breakdowns, today wasn't a good day for most people I'm guessing. It was Andrews turn and after learning more about him I had my full attention with him "umm I met my goal of reading today, I-I didn't meet my goal of not losing any points today..I rate today a four" I felt sorry for Andrew. Part of me wanted to talk to him more but I knew I wouldn't really benefit from it, neither would he, really. I was more concerned about Jack, he didn't look like he had an eating disorder but now that I think of it I never really have seen anything other than his face, he wore long sleeved baggy shirts that really hid any opportunity to see how skinny he was. I couldn't believe that it was a possibility, I never understood why someone would just not eat, I know that people pick on you but I don't think someone calling me fat has ever made me want to starve myself. It's one of the most obvious disorders, its very visible, Just looking at Andrew and Hunter you can tell that they don't eat right. Jack sat beside Dr.Grace with his long arms crossed over his chest, I wondered if I confronted him about it if he would tell me, but I couldn't get on his bad side even though I basically already am on his bad side.

"I met my goal to take a shower and I met my goal to play cards..I rate today a seven" Josh spoke confidently beside me, the attention was on me now and anxiety sparked as I met eyes with Jack

"I uh..I-I" I paused for a second and tried to focus on breathing, Dr.Grace looked at me expectedly. "I met my goal of not losing any points today..I-I didn't meet my goal of calling my friends" I rushed out, trying to talk loud enough so everyone could hear me and not just the people around me, Jack gave me a blank expression from across the room, it's the same he always gives me.

"why didn't you meet your second goal, Alex?" Dr.Grace spoke calmly.

I shrugged and looked down "I-I don't know..I just..couldn't?" I tried to come up with an answer other than 'I'm scared' so I won't sound whiny.

Dr.Grace nodded in understanding "why couldn't you?" she drug on, I internally rolled my eyes

"I..I'm kind of scared" I admitted, I glanced at Vic and saw him nodding in an agreeing way.

"I'm sure they would love to hear from you, do they know you're here?" she questioned, keeping the focus on me

"no" I said simply.

She nodded "I think you should call them, they'd probably like to know where you went" she gave me her final opinion, I nodded. "how would you rate today, Alex?" she asked finally.

I shrugged "six" I met eye contact with Jack again but after a few seconds the attention on me was switched to a loud sob erupting from Criag.

Everyone got their turn as we went around the circle, sharing if we met our goals and if we didn't. Jack was the last one and he obviously didn't talk, causing him to lose even more points.

***

I swallowed the pills dry before the woman could hand me the paper cup of water, I smiled at her once my medication was swallowed "have a goodnight, Alex" Mrs.Jett spoke as she handed a cup of water and the medication to Vic who was in line after me. I waved at her as Vic finished and joined me

"you too!" I replied before walking down the hall with Vic.

"I heard that Jack did something big enough to have nurses and a doctor in there" Vic brought up the one person I was trying to distract myself from. I looked down at the shorter boy