Im dying to live

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Chapter Twenty Two

I couldn't find a video that sounded normal, so the pitch in the video I linked with the chapter is off, I recommend looking up the original if you haven't already.

Title from somethings gotta give by a All Time Low

Some people find beauty in nature, or music, or women, or poems. There are so many different things people find beauty in, but I find beauty in Jacks smile.
And I don't think anyone else can say the same, because I am the only person who gets to see him generally smile.

I have the incredible honor of seeing his smile, and hearing his laugh.
It's quiet sad that no one else gets to see these things about Jack, but there's something really sweet about how I'm the only one who really knows Jack for who he is.

I am so in love with Jack Barakat.

"You should like.. Not leave" I whined as Jack sat on his bed.
Tomorrow is his last full day, so I was spending all of my time with Jack.

Jack chuckled "you only get out three days after me" he said. I nodded, realizing that our discharge dates were close together.

"You better be waiting for me when I get out" I said jokingly, he nodded his head seriously.

"And we will go to the same school" he added, making me realize that getting out of here was only the beginning of our relationship. We had a much longer time together, we go to the same school now, which means we live around the same area.
When we get out there won't be any rules on touching or what time we go to bed.
We will be free,
But we will be free together.

I want to get out for a real reason now, I am feeling better.
I don't want to get out just so I can just kill myself.
I want to live now, Jack makes me want to live.

"Yeah, and we can go to school and tell everyone that I, Alex Gaskarth, is the lucky bastard that has Jack Barakat as my boyfriend" I said proudly, moving my hand to my chest and tilting my chin up.

Jack chuckled "boyfriend? Yeah, I like that. But really, I'm the lucky one" he smirked. I rolled my eyes at the proud, skunk haired boy and got up from my bed.

"I have to go meet with Dr.Mullins" I said quickly, flashing him a smile and heading for the door.

"Wait!" He called as I got to the door, I quickly turned around to meet his eyes "I love you" he whispered.
I felt my face heat up, I was sure of my face being crimson as Jack giggled.
Jack giggled, how cute.

"I love you" I whispered back before leaving the room, I still wasn't used to the 'I love you' part. I had never really been constantly reminded that someone loved me.
I also haven't ever really been completely sure of someone's love for me.
Things with Jack were so different, we've never even touched each other, we fell in love completely with an emotional bond.
With his I feel like he loves me,
I believe him when he says it.

"Hello Alex! Take a seat" Dr.Mullins said warmly as I walked into his office, I smiled at him before sitting in the left chair I usually sat in.
"How are you today?" He asked kindly.

"Good, really good" I said truthfully. For the first time I am able to say I'm feeling good, without lying about it.

"That's great! Are you excited about getting out soon?" He asked, I instantly nodded, he seemed excited too. I was told that I would have to meet here for group therapy every other week once I was discharged, and I would have to meet personally with Dr.Mullins once a month. Same with Jack.

"I really just want to get out and live, I want to see more of what the world has to offer" I said, making our session slightly cheesy.
Dr.Mullins looked really pleased with my response.
I'm pleased too, I never expected to want to live again.

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