Damned// Harry styles (MATURE CONTENT)

Chapter 21: Shut your mouth

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Elaine's POV

I knew what he did.

I didn't just forget that. I remembered petty clearly actually. I still get the sparks of recollection here and there, but never the full picture.

I hate that he's done this. Why can't I just know? It's not like I'm going anywhere, I'm in love with the fool for heavens sake. I can't even imagine leaving him. How cold my days would be. I'd have sight, but I would still be blind somehow. By not being able to wake up and see this beautiful man everyday, would be like being blind again.

I couldn't fathom it.

I had no idea how I allowed myself to do this. To fall helplessly in love with him, but I have.

I didn't even tell myself to stop. Didn't even warn myself that I cared a bit too much. And I'm glad I didn't. My life was dull and repetitive before Harry. Now it isn't. It may be full of fear, and pain at times, but it is also full of love and passion. And that in return makes up for any if the negative aspects in the equation.

I'm still angry at him though. But I'm also confused. He compelled me didn't he? Compulsion means that I was definitely supposed to forget. But I didn't. I fought. I remember the physical strain and energy I put into keeping the memory. But in the end, he took it from me.

I haven't talked to him all day. I'm tired from all my wandering around last night, and the exhausting mental battle I went through earlier this morning.

I would not let him get away with this. I would pester him and pry my way to the truth if necessary. He can't just do that. I want to know why I have a bruise on my side, and why this topic is bothering the pit of my minds so bad. I hate not knowing things.

I turned on the shower, letting the cold water slowly turn warm. Wanting the water to match my mood, I turned the heat all the way up.

I think it was safe to say I was livid at Harry.

I hopped under the water. My body welcomed the burning water reluctantly. It was really hot.

I washed myself slowly. Letting my mind ponder. I even let myself drift to thoughts of Lou and Liam. I missed my mother and father. Although my father wasn't around much. He worked a lot. I missed Shelby too.

Suddenly the image of my dead dog with the demon Harry injured popped in my mind. The maggots seeping from her body, the flies, all of these things i'd rather not picture.

Then all of it came rushing to my mind. The raped and murdered girl, the voices. The demons eating my flesh. The violent whipping I received. It all came back like a tidal wave. And then the last thought came in, making tears spill over.

Harry did that to me.

A new found burning was brought upon me. Why did I allow myself to love this man? He's hurt me in so many ways. He's completely took all normalcy in my life away. My friends, my family, my dog. All of it.

My innocence included.

Well most of it.

And yet I find myself in love with him. The demon that's ruined my existence. I don't know wether to feel angry, or to decide to push it back.

I do the latter.

It was in the past and while I still have a deep pain from it, I have Harry to fix it. He may have caused it, but god knows he's the only one that can make it better.