Bucky Barnes imagines

What Do I Deserve?

"I know." I smile softly as I look at him. "I'm gonna be safe, I promise."

"Good." He leaned in and kissed my forehead softly before pulling away and smiling at me. "I hope you find the right man for you."

"Thanks." I frowned slightly as he started to walk away, noticing that the smile he just gave me wasn't genuine. It always reached his eyes, but it didn't this time. His lips were pulled up almost in a reassuring way, but it wasn't a sign of true happiness. I opened my mouth to speak again, but he had disappeared around the corner.

With a sigh, I sat down on the couch and continued to set up my online profile, only hoping that I'd meet my "Mr. Right"...

--

FOUR WEEKS LATER...

It didn't take long for the matches to start coming in. Although I had talked to a few men, there was one in particular that seemed completely genuine to me.

He was Carson Reed, a 24 year old business owner who lived only five miles from the Tower. He was generally well off, and wanted a future with someone close to him. We both swiped right, and minutes later, we began to have a conversation.

After a few days of conversing online, we decided to go and get coffee together at the nearby coffee shop. To say it went well was an understatement.

It was one of the best dates I had ever been on in my whole life.

We exchanged numbers, and agreed to go out again the following week. And that was exactly what happened, except this time, he took me out to a fancy theater to see a play before we went out to dinner.

After having a few glasses of wine, he offered for me to come back with him to his place and I agreed. We sat on the couch for awhile and continued to talk, until he leaned in and kissed me.

It continued to grow from there, and soon enough, we were headed into his bedroom. I fell asleep in his bed with him, tucked gently against his side, and woke up the next morning alone. There was no note, no texts, no Carson.

I got dressed and went home, a growing ache in my heart that maybe this was just a game to him. But I reassured myself that he had a word emergency and he would text me later.

The hours passed by as I waited on the couch in the living room of the tower, checking my phone occasionally to see if he had messaged me. Nothing. A lump grew in my throat as I kept watching episodes of my favorite show on Netflix, making me question why I had even made an account on Tinder in the first place.

After having a slice of pizza for dinner, I decided to put my pride aside and call him. The phone rang for a few moments before it picked up. "Hello?" I said hesitantly.

There was no response but a moment later, a soft moan sounded through the speakers followed by, "Fuck, you're the best fuck I've had in a long time."

My blood went cold as I heard another round of moans before I quickly hung up the phone. I felt myself begin to shake as a soft sob escaped my lips. As I felt myself slowly fall to pieces, footsteps began to walk into the room. I didn't realize someone else was present until a soft hand touched my shoulder. I quickly turned to see Bucky, his eyes confused and concerned.

"I thought I told you not to fucking scare me like that!" I snapped, before standing up, my pain morphing into a wave of anger.

"I'm sorry!" his eyes widened slightly. "I heard you crying and-"

"I'm fine!" I gritted my teeth before starting to walk away.

"You always say that, but I know you're not!" Bucky grabbed my wrist and stopped me from leaving. "What happened?"

"Why do you fucking care?" I exclaimed, my voice starting to break. "Don't you have a girlfriend to care about?"

"No!" His blue eyes were ablaze with anger as he stared down at me. "Theres only one girl I want, and she can't see it!"

"I'm sure she'd take you in a heartbeat." I whispered softly, as I look up at him. "Everyone wants you. But no one wants me."

"What happened with Carson?"

"I'll tell you what happened." I snatched my phone off the couch. "We went out last night and everything was great. But I didn't hear a word from him all day. I decided to call him, and what do I hear? I hear him fucking another girl!"

My vision is blurred with tears as I shake my head and look up at Bucky. "What do I deserve, Bucky?" My voice was broken and much quieter. "To me, it seems that I deserve nothing. I deserve to be treated like I'm nothing simply because of how I fucking look or just who I am. And it's so unfair."

"You have no idea how wrong you are." Bucky shakes his head slowly as I move my hand to wipe away my tears. "You deserve the world."

"Then why do men treat me like this?" My voice is a mixture of a humorless laugh and a sob as I look at him. "Why am I always the one left in the dust like I'm nothing?"

"Because they don't know what they're missing out on!" Bucky takes my hand in his, and my heart flutters in my chest as he pulls me closer to him. "You are beyond enough. You helped me learn to smile again , and to be open to people. You pulled me out of my shell, and taught me that my past doesn't define me anymore." His metal hand moved to cup my cheek. "My... arm doesn't make me a monster, even though HYDRA made me kill for them."

"But there are so many other girls that-"

"No." Bucky shakes his head as his face starts to lean closer to mine. "You are simply stunning, and you don't compare to any of those other girls. " His eyes flicker down to my lips. "Can I...?"

My skin feels like its on fire at his touch, as his lips draw closer to mine. "Yes..."

His soft lips brush against mine softly, and I kiss back gently, my arms wrapping around his shoulders as our lips move in sync with each others. His lips turned into a smile against mine, and I couldn't help the one forming on my face as he pulled away and looked at me.

"I know it might seem like it's too soon, but I love you." A blush formed on his face as he smiled shyly at me. "And I want to make sure you feel loved, if you'll let me."

"Yes." I smiled at Bucky before pulling him down gently and kissing him once again, feeling my past pain fade away and be replaced with the only thing I would ever need... Bucky Barnes.

---

A/N 2: Sappy ending, sorry. XD I have yet to find my "Bucky Barnes", but... I guess time will tell.