Flower Boy (BoyxBoy)

liii

kevin.

"SO, I GUESS WE'RE DATING NOW," I tell Nat as we walk to calculus. 

Nat smiles and punches my shoulder.  "Cute," he says.

I'm starting to wonder about the right time to go in for the real kisses or when to hold his hand.  With my ex-girlfriends, we held hands when we went on dates, and we kissed after a few days, but Edd's unlike anyone I've ever dated.  He's needs to be treated carefully.  But we've kissed before... maybe he'll let me do it again.

During class, I hid my phone under my desk so I could try to stalk Edd's Instagram.  He only had a few pictures, but all of the pictures of himself looked exactly like he does now. His oldest one was a picture of him and a young Asian girl standing in front of an old brick building. The location stamp on the bottom says Berlin, and the caption is: Ich liebe diesen Ort! ich bin glücklich, whatever that means.  He looks like he's sixteen maybe—but nonetheless his height, smile, and beanie were all the same. As I scroll up I see a picture of him, Eddy, and some tall, dopey looking kid I don't know—probably Ed—standing on the sidewalk of a cul-de-sac. The caption says: Happy Seventeen Year Anniversary to us!  I would not have made it through high school without your shenanigans, Eddy, and your simple, honest advice, Ed. You both deserve the world, and I intend to be there for you on your journey, as you have been for me. I smile, thinking of my old friends.

Some of his other photos were of plants, and then one post of a whiteboard that says: Faites le club de Français!  Nous sommes dans la chambre 350 tous les vendredis.  I scroll up two more photos, and something catches my eye: a picture of Edd and his parents on his graduation day.  I click on it, looking closely.  Edd definitely is more like his mother than his father in his looks.  He shares her bright blue doe eyes, widow's peak, jet black hair, and face shape.  His lips and nose are like his dad's, but he's taller than both of them.  As I examine the photo, I notice that Edd isn't smiling very wide, and neither is his mother.  His father is glancing to the left, at Edd?  No, I think as I remember something Edd told me
before. He was looking at Edd's mother.

The last picture he posted was from last year around March. It was a selfie that Edd's dad took of them cleaning the apartment. It was captioned: We just arrived at my new home!!!  So thankful for being accepted into this college, even if it wasn't my first choice.  P.S.  I'm taking a break from social media for now. (: I chuckle; Edd looks exactly like his dad in this picture somehow.  Maybe it's their goofy smile?  I analyze the photo for a little bit longer until I see a comment that surprises me:

a.mac26: come back, I miss you babe

I tap the username to see more about the commenter, but they're private so I can't see anything other than the profile picture, which is of a young olive-skin man in a Santa Claus hat taking a mirror selfie.  I think.  He gives me bad vibes.

"Mr. Barr?" My teacher asks.  I turn off my phone quickly and look up.

My teacher, Mr. Manikin, smiles, but it's not friendly.  "Who are you texting?"

"Just my mom—"

"Oh really?  Would you like to tell her that you're in class?  I mean, surely she wouldn't want you wasting time on your phone when you've already paid two hundred dollars for this calculus book, and four hundred dollars for this course.  Of course, it is your money, so waste it how you want."

I roll my eyes and put my phone away.  The image of that guy pops into my head again, making me think about the comment too.  What was he to Edd?  Who is he?

edd.

I stood in front of Eddy's room as I tried to find the right way to tell him that I'm dating Kevin now.  My mind is running a mile a minute, switching back and forth between Eddy, Kevin and I are now dating, and Kevin Barr is my boyfriend, Kevin Barr is my boyfriend, Kevin Barr is my boyfriend. Will he be happy?  I assume so.  But what if he's disappointed that it's so soon after Chris?  Will he think I'm "easy"?  Slutty? I try to reassure myself that he's my best friend, and he has always supported me.  Finally, I take a deep breath and knock on the door. He tells me to enter, so I do.