𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐭︱raven reyes, book 1

xx. our mess

June had given her a tiny nod. She didn't know what had her open up, but she insecurely looked down to her feet. "I know what it's like to lose a family member." She picked her head back up. "Or a few." A faint, curious look passed over Raven's expression but June shook her head. This horrible situation they were in was about Finn, and she realized Clarke and Bellamy were taking too long. She was quick to move on, brushing her hair out of her face. "We need to get the cure, he's only going to get worse."

It was as if Raven was reminded of her boyfriend, and it didn't take her a single second to think in following June up the ladder. As June pulled herself up, her boots landing flatly on the ground with a quiet thump, she grew shocked at the sight. The grounder was now shirtless, his muscular body covered in cuts, bruises, and blood. He was tied by his wrists, and as June's eyes glazed down his arm, she could see a nail sticking out of the palm. She felt sick at the sight, unable to remember what she had come up here for.

Raven, however, did. She spoke with such anger that it had June turned her head, coming back. "What's taking so long?!" She demanded. "He stopped breathing."

Clarke's eyes went wide as she panicked, moving to the ladder. "What?!"

Stopping her with a touch to her arm, Raven informed her. "June got him breathing again, but next time we may not be able to."

"What have you been doing?" June questioned, taking another look at the injured grounder. She couldn't imagine the pain he had endured.

"Everything," Clarke answered, sounding as if she was running out of patience. "He won't tell us anything.

Raven gritted her teeth. "Wanna bet?" June watched, becoming horrified as Raven stomped to a panel of wires in the corner of the dropship. She put the flat of her boot on the edge, tugging at blue wires with all her strength until they came loose in her hold. When Bellamy questioned her, asking what she was doing, Raven pressed them together a few times until a few large sparks flew out. The grounder gasped at the sight like he's never seen electricity, pulling against his bounds to get away.

"Showing him something new."

Eyes widening in horror, June couldn't look away this time as she observed Raven pressing the tip of the wires against the grounder's chest to shock him and severely hurt him. She knew this was for Finn, and they needed the antidote, but there had to be a line they were crossing. The grounder shouting in pain made her want to cover her ears, but she felt frozen, paralyzed and unable to move. 

This was for survival, June wanted to tell herself. But even survivalists should have limits.

The lights in the dropship flickered on and off as Raven began shouting over him in a wavering voice. "Which one is it?! Come on!" She cried out before pressing the wires on his chest again. "He's all I have!"

As Raven pulled the blue wires away, June found the feeling flowing through her nerves and she stumbled back. Octavia took over, moving in front of her with the poisonous knife held tightly in her hand. "No more!" She shouted.

Raven faced her boldly with a red face and dark brown eyes full of tears. "He's letting Finn die!"

Holding up the knife, Octavia held a stare with the grounder. "He won't let me die." Before anyone could protest, she pointed the tip of the knife into her arm and dragged it downwards. June gasped her name, astonished at the choice she made. Octavia fell to her knees, sliding towards the grounder and pointing to one of the vials with the knife. "This one?"

It was shocking to see the grounder shake his head, but June couldn't look away from the blood spilling from Octavia's arm at the fresh, open wound. She pointed at another, receiving another head shake. "Come on!" She shouted in a whisper, frustrated, before pointing to the one at the end. This time, the grounder nodded. Octavia lifted it in his view, checking to be sure and receiving another head nod.

"Thank you," Clarke said gratefully, rushing to take it and run down the ladder with Raven right behind her.

"Octavia.." Bellamy tried to kneel next to his sister.

"Don't touch me!" Octavia snapped back sharply, pushing him away.

June, however, watched for only a moment. She slowly shook her head, walking to grab a rag from a pile and moving to Octavia to crouch next to her. "Here, you should cover it," she suggested softly, gently touching her arm. This time, Octavia calmed, allowing June to carefully wove the cloth around her injury to keep the bleeding under control. "I'll get you a dose of the antidote."

Before June left, she lifted her head, meeting the grounder's dark gaze. He somehow seemed more calm, only staring at Octavia until he noticed the other staring at him. Unsure if he would understand her, but hoping so, June tilted her head before mouthing the words; "I'm sorry."

It was to save Finn, sure. But was this who they were now?

━━━━━━━━

Fresh air was something June realized she needed once everything around her calmed down. She was grateful that the storm had finally passed but disappointed to see that most of their camp had been destroyed as an outcome. More than half of the wall had been torn down, their tents were ripped, and tree branches were dropping around them. A few of the delinquents have already started picking up what was still useful and preparing the gate to be fixed. 

Despite the unfortunate weather, Finn's operation and the grounder's terrible interrogation, June breathed in the natural air, relieved they were all somehow still alive. That had to be something positive to look at. However, June could see deep frowns on both Clarke and Bellamy's face a few feet from her.

Hopping off the dropship's door, June strides forward and approached them with a slight smile. "No need to look so negative," she commented. "We're still breathing."

"I wouldn't say that for too long," Bellamy pointed out.

"Negative, negative," June whispered teasingly under her breath as they followed Clarke's pacing steps. "We'll get the wall back up."

From in front of them, Clarke quietly scoffed. "I wish this was our only mess."

Seeing the hand Clarke was swinging that clutched the nail that had once been stuck in the grounder's hand, Bellamy reached out and grabbed it as a sign of comfort. June cocked an eyebrow at the sight, wondering how affectionate Bellamy could really be for Clarke. He even spoke hushed, gentle, yet serious. It had every past thought June had pushed out of her head.

"Who we are, and who we need to be to survive are two very different things."