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My heart felt uneasy thinking about Jihoon. I thought that we were okay and we forgave each other but the fact that last time he said,
Don't go near me
Made me worried. Is he basically telling me that I shouldn't get near him? But I thought we were friends. I kept shifting every now and then on the medical bed.
Can I just get out of here?
I let out a huff and sat up the bed. I looked at the time and it was 7 pm. Are they awake or are they asleep? I decided to go out of the room and check on the others.
When I came in, I see the hyung line, except Daniel, in the food area. I can see Jinyoung and Daehwi karaoke-ing. Woojin and Daniel was dancing to the song they were singing and Guanlin was playing a VR game.
The only person who's missing is Jihoon. Where's he?
I looked around the base and finally caught him. He was scribbling down something on his notebook inside his room. I decided to get near him.
After I arrived in front of his room, I looked at him, waiting for him to notice me. But he didn't. He kept scribbling in his notebook.
"Jihoon." I said his name
His hands stopped moving in his notebook and he lifted his head to meet mine. I gave a smile but he only gave a straight face.
"Didn't I tell you to not get near me?" He said
"But I don't want to." I said
He only replied with a sigh and back again scribbling his notebook. Okay, did he seriously just cut our conversation like that?
"Why do you want me not to get near you?" I asked and went in fully in his room
He looked back at me again.
"I'm not a good person to be around with. Especially when I was too late to save you. It's a good thing you're still alive." He said as he looked at me with full empathy.
Slowly, I was down on my knees and then I sat down, following him.
"Jihoon, it wasn't your fault." I assured
"Yes it is! I'm always late. I should have gotten there before he even hurted you!" He demand and I just went back a little
"You saved me, Jihoon. If you didn't come, he would be on the verge of putting me to death. You came at the right time." I said
"I was wreckless. I should have came sooner. I should have never left you. I should have done that for ages ago so she wasn't dead! You... You're just.. Lucky that guy didn't kill you in spot." What he said made me furrow my eyebrows
"Stop comparing me to whoever the girl you didn't save in the past! I'm not her, okay? And I'm most certainly not lucky, because what made me still alive now is you!" I raised my voice a little as I held his hand
"S-Somi? How'd you know about her?" He asked me as his eyes widened, but I can see his tear making its way.
"So Somi is her name?" I asked and raised my eyebrow.
"Yes." He said
"Well Jihoon, I am not Somi. I'm sure you tried your best saving her. But, what exactly happened to you guys?" I asked him.
I wanted this to be solved real quick.
"I'd rather not talk about it." He said looking away
"You don't have to. But she died in the same way I almost did... Didn't she?" I asked, keeping my manners
He just slowly nodded, "I regretted ever hating her. She... Wasn't like anyone else."
"I loved her and she loved me too. Heck, I even wrote a poetry about her. But... She never got to hear it." Hearing his hopeless voice in the last sentence made my heart clenched.
I touched his shoulder and he looked at me. I gave him an assuring smile and he replied back. With a fake smile. After that he just shook his head and averted his gaze.
"You wrote a poetry?" I asked
"I wrote a lot of poetries. But I made one, very special for her." He said
"Is that the book where you write all your poetries in?" I pointed at the book he was holding, along with a pen that's on top of it
"Yes. I kept all my poetries here. Sometimes, I write poetries as a memory. An unforgettable one. Good or bad." He started shifting the pages of the book and I only looked at it
"Sounds very... Unique." I smiled
"C-can I perhaps, hear one of them?" I asked and looked at him with pleading eyes
He seemed to think for a while, still looking at the notebook in his hands.
"I-I'll read you the one I wrote for Somi." He said and I was taken aback.
"Are you sure? I don't want you to get nostalgic and be all sad again." I asked to assure him
"Yes, I'm sure. Besides, I miss her. And reading this poetry could help me better in moving on from her, fast." He assured
"O-okay then." I replied
He kept shifting the pages to get the right one and finally, he found the page. I looked over the page and saw how colorful the page is. The other pages seemed so dull and undecorated but this one?
It has stickers and different colors of markers depending on it. It also has patterns and designs on the edge to decorate it.
Jihoon must've loved Somi very much. And it hurts me thinking that. I don't even know why.
He seemed to take a look at it for 5 seconds, letting out a chuckle. Before he started reading, he cleared his throat and lift the book up to his chest. I made sure my ears were clear enough to listen to his soft, soothing voice.
I, I love deep talks Like, hell yeah
Tell me about how you'd prefer talking to your mom rather than your dad
Tell me about your favorite lyrics in the song listen to everyday And why they're your favorite
Tell me about the dog you had when you were growing up And how he was your best friend
Tell me, Tell me about what kind of books you like to read When you're alone in your room
Tell me about the things you think about Right before you fall asleep
Tell me, Anything and everything
I just want to be the one you tell it all to
So please, Let me be the one.
Every word that came out of Jihoon's mouth surprised me. Those words he used to describe him and Somi's close relationship made it all emotional. I felt like I wanted to cry hearing his voice.
I looked over to him and saw him closed the book. He looked at me and smiled.
"You must love her very much." I said
"And now I still do."
-
I wanna thank this guy from Instagram who made this poetry, lmao, I wouldn't have made it myself. I actually don't know if it's a poetry or not but it just sounds like one so... Yea.
