MCSM Oneshots (LGBTQ+ Ships)

No Remorse

Aiden's PoV

It was back again, that voice in his head. The one that's been whispering at the back of his mind. It followed him around, in school. At home. In bed. In his nightmares.

Aiden sat on the floor of the bathroom, smiling a little at his reflection in the glass. How long had he been sitting there? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? He didn't really care as long no one bothered him.

A notification went off on his phone as he looked at it. Without even looking at the message, he knew it was from his...

Aiden sighed, grabbing his phone and throwing it onto the floor, frustrated as angry tears swam in his eyes.

He would not cry.

He clenched his teeth, picking up his phone and checking for cracks. Luckily, nothing seemed to have happened to his phone.

But his screen lit up, notifying Aiden of his one unseen message. He rubbed his eyes with his jacket sleeve. Despite being in the bathroom and hiding out in there, Aiden still refused to take off his hoodie. Maybe he had to. Eventually.

After all, it was damp from the time he had tried to drown himself again, for the second time that week. It was that voice again. Telling him what to do and planting negative thoughts in his head.

"He doesn't love you." it whispered as Aiden gritted his teeth, holding the penknife tightly as he sat on the floor, lost in his thoughts. "So why do you even bother to reply?"

Aiden's heart ached, just thinking about that unseen message and his voice. How it was all... connected. Somehow. "Just forget me Jesse," Aiden's voice shook a little as he leaned against the wall. "Forget me."

"He will forget you soon... don't you see?" his voice asked Aiden, as sweet as honey, as deadly as poison. "He'll forget you exist and one day... he'll stop messaging you completely."

"So why bother to keep fighting?" the voice whispered, "Stay here."

"Shut up." Aiden murmured, but even he felt doubt. And he felt a little insane, talking to himself.

"Do you want to be insane? I can help you with that. After all. I'm not real. You're just thinking. And pitying yourself. And you made me."

"I'm not a real person you know. You made me. You're pitying yourself. You're treating yourself like you're insane but you're not. You just want attention."

"Shut up!" Aiden replied as loudly as he could, sliding the penknife open with one smooth swipe of his thumb and cutting his wrist, silencing the thought. He closed his eyes, breathing hard as blood started to form around the cut.

He clenched his fist, making blood trickle down his wrist. "I told you."

Aiden opened his eyes, staring at the blood. He couldn't let it drip onto the floor. Or else his family would find out and... who knows what would happen. He swallowed and grabbed the edge of the sink, pulling himself up so that he was standing in front of his mirror.

"You don't need me to be insane, you know. Lose a friend. Break up." the voice whispered as Aiden paused, his bleeding wrist inches away from the water, pouring from the faucet.

Aiden watched as blood dripped into the water, mixing the two. A coldness swept over him as he silently turned off the tap, still not washing the blood from his wound, which was starting to stop bleeding.

"Prove it." the voice urged him as Aiden rubbed the blood with his other hand, smearing it across his arm. "You don't need me to be insane. Look what you've done."

Aiden used his own blood to paint the sink, silently watching the blood roll down the sides as water mixed with it. He drew lines. Tally marks. Smiling faces. Lose a friend. Break up. Jesse.

His eyes drifted to the penknife lying on the floor. He bent down, looking at it with silent consideration before reaching out and sliding open the blade. Aiden turned and faced the mirror, looking at himself.

He saw a boy, with dark eyes and no emotion. Raising the blade to his head, Aiden held his hair straight before running the blade along, cutting his own hair with the sharp edge.

Hair fell into the sink as Aiden cut his own brown strands, no remorse. No pressure. Just silence as Aiden cut. He didn't know how much he cut, but he stopped when he knew it looked noticeably different.

While he was cutting his hair, the blood from his wrist kept dripping onto the strands in the sink, mixing together.

"No remorse?" the voice seemed to ask as Aiden looked at himself in the mirror and finally... he slipped the penknife in his pocket and..

left.

No remorse.

- End