MCSM Oneshots (LGBTQ+ Ships)

I'll Try Again (Jesskas)

Jesse's PoV

(9:44pm)

Jesse sat on his bed, glumly staring at his phone again. Again, it felt like the whole day was some mindless game. The usual hate, the abuse and all that. But today, tonight, to be exact, be was going to change things. He was done being weak.

As if on cue, his phone lit up with a notification. Jesse felt a little weak, just by seeing his device glow.

"Are you done feeling sorry for yourself? Because I feel like you should just give up now."

It was that hater, that always seemed to find him. Jesse sighed, pushing his head into his hands and just staying still. All day had been terrible. He was forced to keep moving, just to keep that dreaded hater away. He moved from account to account, disabling each one every time his hater found him.

It felt like Jesse was in a game.

A stupid game he didn't want to play.

Jesse started the day with a message from his hater.

"Why do you still like a kid's game? You're so childish!"

Jesse was close to giving up that morning, just thinking about ways to kill himself. Sure, he could drown, or slash himself to death... which he came close to doing that morning. Jesse brushed his right hand across his new angry red lines on his left arm. They stung, which made Jesse slowly pull away, and just look at his phone mindlessly again.

But the only thing stopping him was that he was afraid of what came after. And he also didn't want to lose his friends. Jesse frowned a little. Friends who didn't seem to care, that is... once again, Jesse felt lost. Should he go back to social media again? To confront that hater once and for all?

Jesse lost confidence again, slumping against the wall beside his bed. After he had cut his arm that morning, all he felt was hatred. He had so many problems he couldn't deal with. His hater, being the main problem...

But the others. His family hurting him mentally and physically... his so called friends leaving him when he needed them the most and Lukas-

Jesse's heart ached a little when he thought about Lukas. He was the most bravest person Jesse had ever met. The funniest, the most caring. And just by having Lukas as a friend, made Jesse want to live. But even Lukas's friendship couldn't hold the weight of all this.

Ever since Jesse started to run away from his hater, he found it harder and harder to stay friends with Lukas. Something Jesse never wanted to do. Lukas was a brilliant writer... which inspired Jesse in the first place, but even he couldn't bring himself to tell Lukas what was going on.

"You tell anyone about me, and you know what will happen." His hater had told him many months ago.

Jesse felt trapped. He didn't want to tell anyone about his hater, since he wanted to protect his friends from feeling the same pain. But how... can he keep going on like this?

"If you tell anyone again, I will come after them as well. And make you watch. I'll make you plead. And I'll do anything I can, to make you suffer." his hater had written to him once.

No. He was worrying his friends. The one who truly cared about him. The ones he knew he could count on.

Jesse picked up his phone from the bed and shakily answered the hater.

"can you please leave me alone?" Jesse typed with shaky hands.

A minute passed before his hater wrote back. "You're too fun to play with, Jesse. I know you. Don't think I can't see what you do."

"but why? why me? i've never done anything to you!"

"True. But you're an easy target. Don't think I didn't see that screenshotted chat you posted on Instagram, you liar."

"i took it down! i did everything you asked me to, so please. just leave me alone!"

"Nope. I have to go now, Jesse. Sweet dreams. Not."

Jesse furiously wiped away his tears, throwing his phone onto the ground but luckily, it didn't break. If it did, he would have to answer to his mom...

Maybe he had to show his hater that all this didn't affect him. Maybe he had to... Jesse picked up his phone again and checked the screen for any damage.

Maybe he had to pretend.

Pretend that everything. Was alright. So he wouldn't worry anyone.

-End