Blonde Ivory

Chapter Twenty-One: Shiloh Levitsky

Shiloh Levitsky (Lead Singer of Blonde Ivory)

"What an absolute fucking shit show." Alfonso says as he dances his way back into his living room with a handful of beers he holds by their necks. He passes one to Marco, Kasey, Connor, and me. Macha reaches for the last one in his hand but he pulls it back with an obnoxious, "Aah aah. I don't think so crack addict."

Her hands fall to her lap, and she sneers at him. "I am not a fucking crack addict." She bites. He shrugs her off and uncaps his beer with great difficulty.

I screw mine off and the watery taste leaves much to be desired. "Yeah, nobody cares. The only thing that matters right now is that shit has o-fficially hit the god damn fan, and I don't mean to toot my own horn or whatever the fuck, but I'm the only one not to blame for that. You could even say that Mark's been sucking my dick these past few days because I've been so good with the press." Kasey rolls her eyes.

"That doesn't surprise anyone. You'd take a dick sucking from a piranha." She pipes up before taking a noisy gulp from her own beer. Alfonso smacks his beer into her knee and scowls up at her.

"God damn, everyone has such a fucking attitude. You guys need to learn to loosen up. Fans and the press are going to tear us to shreds in the next few weeks. We might as well make the most of it and keep upbeat attitudes." He sighs. He looks between the rest of us.

We all sit in silence on his comfortable couches, but none of us can seem to find anything to say. That is until Connor lets out a dry cough.

"Hayden's sick, and she refuses to get help." He rubs his hands roughly over his face. He holds his beer tightly between his legs as he leans back against the couch.

Macha leans farther on her side of the couch at his words and nudges me with her elbow. "What other things can she do, honestly? I know we keep bagging on her for being sick, but I mean... She already agreed to go to therapy. She agreed to take those anti-depressants which is uncommon for Hayden. What else can she possibly do?" Connor shakes his head, and takes another long sip of his beer.

"I don't know. I don't know how to help her. What else can any of us do?" He whispers. I shake my head at his question.

"Stop it! All of you... You keep talking about her as if she is already dead; as if we have already lost her. You guys do realize that her hospitalization could have been the result of another suicide attempt, right?" Alfonso's head snaps up at my words. He smiles kindly.

"But it wasn't." He laughs.

I nod slowly. "That is my point. We got so lucky. We could have lost her, but we did not. We have not. She just needs time." He nods.

"See, guys! Shakespearean chick over here gets it. Positive thinking: the only thing keeping us from losing our fucking sanity." I take a long, dull sip of my beer.

Kasey shakes her head. "Great. So she needs time. How much time though? How long until she's ready to deprive herself of sleep on tour? Even if she has healed by then, which is highly un-fucking-likely, she still isn't going to go on tour with us." Marco stares at her with narrowed eyes.

"Is that all you care about? Going on tour?" He bites. Kasey glares at him.

"Of course not. But we're musicians. We live to perform for our fans. They've already been through so much already. Do you think they'll be keen on waiting even longer for us to tour?" Her eyebrow raises temptingly. She waits for him to say she is wrong, but he does not. Connor does.

"You know who else has been through so much? Hayden. Do you think the fans will be keen when they see news articles on Hayden's suicide? Of course not. She needs time Kasey." He says matter-of-factly.