CHAPTER 25: DROWN OR BREATHE

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Fae's P.O.V.

I was deep in thought when Asher came back. I watched the hands on the clock tick away as my insides shriveled up.

"There's something wrong and you're not telling me." He said breaking the silence.

I shook my head no, unable to form words. My eyes widened when he took the barstool next to me. His knees brushing my thighs. I felt my cheeks heat up. I looked away for his intense gaze. Looking straight over the counter, he sat sideways facing me, staring. I felt uncomfortable with his grey eyes watching me.

"Fae." He whispered.

My head jerked in his direction when he said my name. At the same time the door slammed opened and Hayden came in drenched in snow and rain. I turned my body to find Hayden staring at us, anger clearly evident in his eyes.

"We need to talk." He said grabbing my arm and leading me up the stairs into his room. Not bothering to change out of his wet clothes, or take off his shoes, water drenched the floor. His grip hurt my wrist, but I couldn't open my mouth, not when I knew he was mad.

He locked the door as I stood in the room twisting my hands together.

"Fuck. Why didn't you tell me?!"

I couldn't open my mouth. I stood quietly. What was I supposed to say that my mother is a whore, that we ruin everyone's lives?

"Vivian is running around the school telling everyone and there are flyers posted everywhere. Fae...I...You need to fix things with her. I don't want you to get hurt." He said taking steps towards me.

It felt like my world broke in half. Everything was falling apart around me. Pain settled in my heart. I nodded my head. "Ok." I said then gave him a smile before leaving his room. Hurt? I was hurting. I needed to fix myself. Me. I needed to fix things. It was always my fault. Always.

The downstairs was empty, so I grabbed my backpack on the counter and left. I couldn't go anywhere, not Hayden's, or Vivian's, certainty not my own home. So, I went back to the school. It was a cold walk. I wasn't wearing much of a coat, which I regretted. Taking the side streets, I took the shortcut in the dark to the school, which I had memorized. Once I reached the school it was 4:00pm.

The snow coated my hair and clothes. I went straight to the locker room and huddled near the vent that barely gave enough heat. I looked up and saw the paper.

It was a photocopied picture of me with "whore" written across it in red sharpie. This was what Hayden was talking about. I crumpled it up and threw it away.

I could never escape. Everything would always be against me. The teachers and faculty would be all over this tomorrow, trying to make meetings with me, pretending that they cared. Guidance councilors forcing me into therapy. I curled up and rested my head on my arms. Hayden wanted me to apologize to Vivian. Me. I wasn't the one that tried to ruin her family it was her. Tears escaped my eyes. Thank god it was Friday, no one would be at the school tomorrow.

I let the pain overtake me and closed my eyes to let the darkness in.

Pain. Stomach. Again, and again.

My eyes opened to find a field hockey stick coming for my face. I escaped it and it hit my back, I trying to get up. But I felt someone holding my down. Another punch to my stomach. I choked out trying to catch a breath.

"Whore. You are a fucking poor whore. Leave here. Get the fuck out of here." A girl's voice screamed at me.

I reached for my backpack and opened my eyes, to find the field hockey team standing in front of me. I forgot they had their last game today. I quickly jumped up and moved away from them, as they tried to hot me again. I ran, jumping the school fence, and into the parking lot. I fell foreword when my foot hit something in the snow. All I saw as white. I tried to pull myself out of the snow but kept drowning. When I finally was back on my feet I walked towards the woods. I had nowhere to go. No one. This was it. This was what life was going to be like.

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