Jinxed Series: Lost Lines

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Megara Cruz

I WOKE UP TO the sound of a beating heart against my cheek and ear. Someone was hugging me tight, and it made me smile upon realizing it was my Calvin. My leg was crossed on his body, the other was laid rest beside his. The hairs on his legs felt rough against my thigh and leg.

Bukas ang air conditioner sa kwarto ko. He was still sleeping from the lovemaking we did last night, and our nakedness gave such chills on my body. The thickness of the comforter was not enough, I need the heat emanating from his body.

Madilim pa sa labas. Tinignan ko ang relos sa side table. Nagising ako ng three ng umaga. Isang oras pa at gigising na si Calvin para magjogging. Ngayon ang Game Four ng PBA Finals. Kagabi, tinulungan ko siyang bawasan ang kaba niya para sa laro mamayang hapon.

Tumingala ako para paanorin ang payapang paghinga ni Calvin. His beard was well-maintained. As he slept, his lips were parting slightly to catch some air. Bakat sa lalamunan ang kaniyang Adam's Apple na tumataas-baba habang siya'y tulog. Ano kayang laman ng panaginip niya?

Gumana nga kaya talaga ang plano ko eight years ago? It was far fetched. Mukhang imposible. Nawalan ako ng pag-asa kaya bumalik ako sa orihinal na plano: layuan si Calvin at wag na magpakita. Pero nahanap niya ako. At habang nakikilala ko siya, ibang-iba ang personalidad ng aking nobyo sa tadhana.

For starters, the Calvin who was holding me right now was not afraid to redefine the broken definition of masculinity, to explore his heart, and to do what's right. Humingi siya ng tawad sa akin. Matapang na hinarap niya ang sariling kahinaan at binahagi sa akin.

Inangat ko ang hintuturo at binakas ang kaniyang ilong, labi, pisngi—dahan-dahan na hindi siya magising.

I wasn't sure back then if Calvin had the right balance of masculinity and femininity in him, in a sense that he's not afraid to celebrate his vulnerability, and reach out for help. Pero kilala ko na siya ngayon. Anong saya ko na hindi sumunod si Calvin sa tadhana niya na maging 100% macho na hindi marunong umiyak, kinikimkim ang insecurities at struggles, at mataas ang ego.

No. My Calvin was sensitive, kind, funny, and a good human. Not only a good man. He was the best human being I had ever met, and it made me so proud that my fated husband would take good care of me, see me as his equal, and respect me.

Oo, ginagamit pa rin niya ang malakas niyang boses para patahimikin ako paminsan—sunod sa utos ng tadhana. Kumikilos siya kahit walang pasabi sa akin. But I wasn't gonna lose my hope now. Calvin needed me to be the best version of himself. Kailangan ko din siya para ilabas ang ginto sa kaluluwa ko na punung-puno ng basura.

"It takes two imperfect people to polish marriage into a sparkling diamond," bulong ko sa kaniya.

"Hmmm..." na-alimpungatan siya at saka dumilat. "Hello, butterfly."

"Did you just call me butterfly?"

"You don't like it?"

"No."

"Okay. Hello, my butterfly." Kumurap-kurap siya at hinimas ang buhok ko.

Ngumiti ako. "Listen, I've been thinking," sabi ko.

"Yeah?" ngumiti siya nang malawak.

"Hindi kita nasagot nang maayos kagabi. You were asking me to go meet your father. And I was about to say yes when you went down on me with your tongue."

Humagikgik siya. "Admit it. I got you in less than two minutes last night."

Hinampas ko siya sa balikat. "Kung hindi pa kita tinuruan, hindi ka pa gagaling. Call me master from now on."

"Okay, Master Butterfly," pang-aasar niya, "I can't believe you have a butterfly tattooed at the end of your spine."

"It's for charity! There's this tattoo parlor na nagbibigay ng relief goods para sa sinalanta ng Bagyong Yolanda. Para kumita sila, hinikayat nila ang customers na maglagay ng butterfly tattoo."

"I love it nonetheless. Butterfly is your spirit animal. Your colourful wings got me blinded. Now all I see is you."

My heart gave out such colourful beats because he meant every word. Pake ko kung masyadong cheesy? Kinikilig ako.

Calvin kissed my lips, his stubbles rough against my cheeks, his mouth beckoned mine to open wider, and our tongues touched, sending me to nirvana. He broke away to give both my nipples sucking, making me peak. Calvin found his way on my neck with such tender kisses, stroking my breast with his rough fingertips. I ran my fingers through his hair as I felt him worshipping my body in spite of my imperfections.

He inserted his fingers in my mouth, drenching them. That's when he travelled down, and warmed my temple of womanhood with his rhythmic fingers, circling my clit, hitting my walls. And as his Goddes, I rewarded his worship with a rain.

His morning hardness was getting the best of him. No one should be on top of me. He knew how much I hated men on top. Because they controlled the rhythm, disrespecting my temple with their fast paced thrust, lacking love, passion, and grace.

And so I distracted him with a kiss, I sat up, grabbed his shoulders, and laid his back on the bed. That's when I mounted on him. My legs spread wide and bent on the knees.

Nagtama ang aming mga mata. Hinahabol ni Calvin ang kaniyang hininga. Tinagis niya ang mga bagang. Tumaas-baba ang kaniyang lalagukan sa hubog ng aking katawan. Yumuko ako para sakupin ang kaniyang labi, kinagat ko ito nang mahina hanggang sa ako'y kumalas. Bumangon ako, hinanap siya ng kamay ko, kumabog nang malakas ang puso ko matapos mahawakan ang kaniyang paninigas. Saka ko siya pinasok sa loob ng tirahan ko na puno ng pagmamahal at init. Lumalim ang aking hinga sa sakit.

Rinig ko ang pamilyar na awit matapos niyang sumuot sa masikip at madulas na daanan. Ginabayan ko siya sa bawat hakbang papasok. Binangga niya ang mga pader, at niyakap ko siya nang buong-buo. Kumawala sa kisame ang aming sigaw, inaawit ang lumang kanta ng aming mga ninuno.

Calvin grabbed my waist, his thumb circled my clit as I took him further in my home and out. I found his eyes wide opened, breathing fast, watching me. I teased him by grabbing my breast, pinching my hardened teats, meeting his long steady gaze. In his eyes, I felt something building up as he quickened his fingers.

He watched me go, screaming and closing my eyes but not my heart.

As I was done, I panted and looked him in the eyes. May kapilyuhan sa kaniyang mga mata. His fingers continued stroking me amidst my sensitivity, and it made me scream in pain.

"No. No. No. Calvin. No."

"You wanted to be on top, right?"

"No. Please."

As a reflex, my legs started closing with Calvin stretching me inside. But he spread them apart, his pelvis thrusted faster, his fingers stroking my clit. I closed my eyes as pleasure sent million volts to my body—my legs shook violently, squirming. He found delight in my scream as I felt him getting harder and sharper and faster.

Beads of sweat were forming on his body. His finger stopped stroking as he focused. He was about to do it, planting his seed on my fertile soil. Much as I want to, it's not yet time for us to grow a flower in my womb. We're not ready yet.

"Come it out," I said in between short breaths, "Come out."

Tinignan ako ni Calvin na parang nalilito.

It was only a matter of seconds, and I was running out of time. He was about to come inside me. Bigla akong natakot. Walang sabi-sabi na kumalas ako, dumapa at nilagay siya sa aking daliri, kinumpas ko ang aking kamay, at hinintay ang kaniyang pagdating. His seeds was oozing out with warmth, spreading over his shaft, the sheets, dripping down my fingers.