Bucky Barnes imagines

Seven Years

The next few hours were calm, but pleasant. We drank and ate more cake and laughed at the stories of the past that we shared. But there was something that was off about Bucky. I could sense it every time he laughed. The laughter never reached his eyes.

Eventually, Steve left and wished us goodnight. I shut and locked the door before turning to look at my boyfriend of two years. His eyes flickered up to mine, and sadness reflected off of them. "I have something I need to tell you, doll."

I frowned and walked back to where he was sitting. He pulled out a paper and handed it to me. My eyes scanned down the paper, and immediately, my world came to a stop. The happiness in the room evaporated and my heart began to shatter. The tears began to pool in my eyes as I looked at him. "When do you leave?"

"The end of the week." His voice, normally strong and happy, was now broken and sad.

"It's Wednesday. Why the hell would you wait to tell me now?" My voice broke part way through the sentence, but I didn't care.

"I didn't want to hurt you." Bucky ran a hand through his hair.

"So you waited until my birthday?!" My chest ached with anger and hurt as I stood up. "You thought that was appropriate? My ultimate birthday gift... finding out my boyfriend is going to war?!"

"I didn't know how to handle it!" He stood up, and his voice and gaze reflected desperation. "I'm so sorry, Y/N."

I just stared at him for a moment before I dropped the letter. A moment later, my body followed with it, collapsing in a puddle of tears. Before it could hit the floor, Bucky's arms wrapped tightly around my waist and pulled me close to him. I buried my face in his chest as the tears leaked down my face. "You better fucking come back to me, Barnes. You hear me?"

"I do." His voice was a broken whisper as his lips brushed against my head, before moving to touch mine. "I promise I'll come back. I always have and I always will. "

***

Remember life and then your life becomes a better one.

I made a man so happy when I wrote a letter once.

I wrote to him plenty. If I couldn't talk to him face to face, I needed some way to stay connected with the man I had fallen in love with since the day we met on the playground.

At first, his responses were frequent. He told me stories about his friends and his experiences along Steve's side.

But then... they disappeared altogether.

Until one morning... I received a letter stating that he was gone. Dead, now non-existent in my life.

I didn't leave my room for a week. I barely ate, and all I did was cry myself to the point of exhaustion and drift into a restless sleep. Eventually, it felt better. I managed to pull myself up and go to work.

But then life itself became a routinely chore that I was forced to do. Still, I persisted, and I kept living the life that Bucky wanted for me.

But I knew that none of it would be enough if I didn't have Bucky with me by my side. Ever.

****

Once I was seven years old, momma told me

Go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely

Bucky's throat tightened as he walked up to the nursing home, with Steve at his side. "She's in there?"

"She is."Steve glanced at him. " She turned 100 last week. "

"Jesus..." Bucky smiled and shook his head. "She's a fighter, that one. Have you spoken to her yet?"

"I did." Steve looked away. "It took her awhile to remember who I was. Her memory is starting to fade away."

Bucky's heart dropped at his words. "Do you think she'll remember me?"

"I'm sure she will, Buck." Steve clapped his hand on his shoulder before opening the door. "Let's go inside."

After climbing a flight of stairs and walking down a long hall way, the two men finally reached her room. The door creaked open and Bucky finally glanced inside. A fragile, old woman lay on a bed against the wall, propped up by pillows. Her face was adorned with wrinkles and her hair was a stark white, but it was the Y/N that he had fallen in love with.

With hesitant footsteps, Bucky approached the bed. "Y/N?"

Her eyes turned to focus on his face, and they lit up. "B-Bucky?"

"You remember me?" Surprise was present in his expression.

"How could I forget?" A small chuckle escaped her lips followed by a ragged cough. "I've been waiting for you to come home for over seventy years. But you don't look like you've changed a bit."

"That's a story for another time." Bucky took one of her fragile hands in his, and she smiled sadly.

"Who knows if there will be another time? I'm fucking one hundred years old."

"Well, it's good to know you still have your spunk." Steve chuckled from the side of the room. "Remember me from last time?"

"I do." Y/N nods. "Steve Rogers. I think last time you were hear, I had just had my pain meds. Makes me a little woozy."

"There'll be a next time." Bucky squeezed her hand gently. "I just came back to you. There's a lot to catch up on, from the past seventy years."

"I wish that was the case..." Y/N sighed softly. "But the doctors told me I had only a few weeks left to live, at best. I'm afraid our reunion will be cut short."

Bucky's heart broke at her words and he glanced at Steve. He nodded solomnly before mouthing the word 'cancer'.

"It's so unfair." He blinked away tears pooling in his eyes and he looked down. Her hand moved to his face and he looked up.

"I guess we have bad timing."

"You dying is not a joke."

"I know. But it's better than mourning about lost time and what we won't have." Y/N smiled and patted his cheek gently. "I'm glad I got to see you again. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." He took her hand and kissed it gently. "I will miss you."

"I know." She smiled. "But you still have a long life waiting for you. Take it. Make the most out of it. I'll see you again, one day."

The door shut quietly and Bucky turned to see that Steve had left the room.

"It won't be the same without you." He replied weakly.

"Life wasn't the same without you either." Y/N held his hand again. "There were some moments where I even considered whether or not I wanted to live. But I made it through. And so will you."

"I will." Bucky nods, as a tear slide down his cheek.

"But let's not be sad." She patted the empty space next to her. "I want to remember the 1900s again."

For the next hour, they both began to retell the stories of their times together, and how happy they were. But as the time went on, Y/N began to grow more tired and she leaned her head against Bucky's shoulder.

"I remember the day... I met you." She mumbled softly, but loud enough for him to hear. "First day of school, all of the kids had friends, except for m-me. And then you found me. "

"It was the best day of my life." Bucky said softly, as he knew the life was ebbing out of her old body.

"It was for me too." She let out a soft chuckle before tapping his shoulder gently. "You're it."

"We don't want to start that again, now do we?"

It was silent, and Bucky froze before he realized that she was gone. He closed his eyes as his tears pooled underneath his eyelids. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head gently. "I love you."

Once I was seven years old...