You're All I Need (Complete)

Chapter 19~ Go Away

"Railin please stop. You were wrong. I don't feel that way about you. I never have. I love Darin. Please we can just go back to how we were and everything..." I say, but he cuts me off.

"No Hayden! You don't get to do that! I know you feel something for me. You have to! You can't just run from everything! I love you! It won't go away! Please you have to believe me. I don't know how you can say we can just be friends because I can't bear it! I want more! I need more from you than just being Railin The Friend! Please tell me what you really think. I need to know what you are thinking! Tell me how you really feel!" He screams.

Too far. He's gone too far this time.

"I don't know! Don't you get that! I don't even know how I feel! How can I tell you if I don't know myself!" I scream back.

"You do know Hayden! You do! You know exactly how you feel about me! You love me! I know it! I'll prove it to you right now!" He yells. Then he grabs the back of my head and thrusts his lips on mine. For a moment I don't stop him. I actually kiss him back. Then I remember Darin.

This isn't right. I can't do this. This is Railin for crying out loud.

I try to pull back, but his hand holds me there. He is trying so hard. He's kissing me with so much passion that I almost buckle.

I push his chest away, but he won't move. I duck under his hand and pull back. He just grabs me again & keeps kissing me.

"Dammit Railin stop!" I yell through his kisses.

He pulls back slightly, but holds me there.

"You didn't want me to stop at first. Why now?" He asks.

"What about Darin? What will he think?" I ask.

He smiles. "Why are you smiling?" I ask.

"You only care about what Darin thinks. You aren't denying that you have feelings for me. You do feel something. You at least like me maybe even more." He says through a smile.

"Railin no. I can't. It's not right. It hurts way too much. Just leave. Railin you need to go. Go away dammit!" I say.

"No Hayden. I will never leave you. I love you too much. I could never abandon you, & you need me right now. You need me so much. Everything is falling apart. Darin left, you are alone, I just told you I love you, you're freaking out, & you're still devastated from what happened to Darin's parents. I won't leave you now. No, I can't leave you now. Please let me stay with you." He says.

"But it hurts Railin. I don't want to hurt anymore. Please Railin, it hurts so much. Please." I says and I burst into tears. He wraps me in a hug & I cry into his shirt.

"It's ok. I know, I know. Don't worry. It'll be alright. No one is going to hurt you anymore. Never again I promise. I won't let it happen. I'll protect you, always. I love you Hayden." He says.

"I know, but you can't protect me from this or Darin. He left me. He won't come back & he never calls. God it hurts so much. I just want to know if he is ok. Why would he do this to me?" I say. He slowly rubs my back.

"I will protect you from everything, even Darin. He will never hurt you again while I'm here. That is a fact. Please don't cry over him anymore. I'll keep you safe baby." He says.

"What do I do Railin? How can I just keep going when I don't know if he is ok or not? I'm so scared Railin. What if he is over me or doesn't want me anymore? What will he do? I can't lie to him. I love you both so much. I just I love him more. I love you, but not enough. Please don't hate me." I say.

He pulls my face up to look at him & looks directly in my eyes.

"I could never hate you Hayden. That is something that is impossible. As for the rest, I don't know. I do know that Darin is an idiot for leaving you. When he gets back you & I will tell him what happened together. We will tell him he has no right to be mad or sad because he left you & you were hurt. If he doesn't understand then it's his own fault. It will be okay Hayden." He says.

I shake my head. "If he doesn't understand then I will lose him. I can't lose anybody else Railin. Not now & not anytime soon. If he comes back I'm going to feel horrible. I should've never came to school today." I say.

"No Hayden I'm glad you came. You never would have known how I felt if you hadn't. I'm so happy. I missed you so much." He says.

"Thanks Railin, but I really should go. I can't sit here talking to you all day. It'll look suspicious." I say & I pull out of his arms.

He sighs & shakes his head. "Hayden it has looked suspicious since you left the cafeteria & I followed you. We haven't come back yet & it's been almost half an hour. We are suspicious enough. You don't have to go anywhere." He says.

"Railin please, I have to go home. I just need to think ok?" I say.

"Then let's go. What's stopping you?" He says.

What's stopping me? Is he serious? He's in the car!

"What's stopping me! You! You're in the car. I can't just drive home with you. What do you want me to invite you in for a snack so you can spend time with me? Railin I'm not comfortable with that. You did just make me kiss you when I didn't want to. Who is to say that you won't do it again, but take it farther? You can't put me in that position." I say.

He smirks. "You're afraid. You're afraid of what you will do if we are alone. You're scared that if I put you into a position that you will like it. It's ok Hayden. I don't plan on fucking you, tonight." He says.

Are you fucking kidding me? Did he really just say that?

I feel my cheeks turning red. He got to me dammit. Before I can say anything he speaks again. "I miss you Hayden. Sexually, I mean. It may have been one night, but it was filled with passion. I've never forgotten that night. Have you?" He asks.

Of course I never forgot. It was amazing. I just can't tell him that.

"It has slipped my mind a few times. I mean the first time Darin & I had sex I thought I was still a virgin." I say the words so fast I can't stop myself.

Pain flashes in his eyes & across his face. "Oh, you guys had sex. That's............great." He says.

"I know you don't really think that Railin, but it's the truth. This is getting way too personal please just go. I don't want to hurt you anymore. Please Railin, I can't do this. Just go away." I say while staring into his eyes searching for a glimmer of understanding.

He nods. "Yeah that is a good idea. Goodbye Hayden." He says slowly while getting out of the car.

"Goodbye Railin. I'm sorry I hurt you." I say.

"Yeah ok." He says as he closes the door and goes back into the school.

God why did I say that?! He looked so heartbroken! I'm such a bitch! I just have to get out of here!

I drive home quickly & run upstairs to find something completely unexpected.

I walk into my room. "Adrian? What the hell are you doing?!" I yell.

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How was chapter 19?