You're All I Need (Complete)

Chapter 14~ Love? Maybe Or Maybe Not

We sit on the bed and he looks at me. I look back. We are both so relieved that we don't have to sneak around anymore. That we can be ourselves.

We smile. He laughs and wraps me in a hug. I'm laughing so hard I can barely breathe.

He starts to pin me down and kisses me on the cheek. I look at him. He is so perfect smiling, happy, his beautiful blue eyes lighting up in the sun.

When he turns I catch a glimpse of the funny crescent shaped birthmark on the side of his neck. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down to me.

I kiss him lightly and let him go. He comes back and kisses me a little more powerfully then pulls back. I kiss him with even more power.

We continue doing this until we are making out. I'm biting his lip as he runs his hand down and around my body. I bring his lips back to mine and put them to good use.

After a while we start to control ourselves and the intensity of the kissing fades with every embrace. I pull back and just look into his eyes. He smiles and chuckles a little.

"What?" He asks as he lays next to me, but I am still fixed on those beautiful eyes of his.

As I looked deeper into his gaze I noticed something I never had before. In the sea of beautiful blue there were specs of gold and hints of green and grey.

Wow those eyes.

Those beautiful eyes that could put me in a trance, those eyes that held so much mystery still continue to surprise me.

I smile. "Nothing I just. I never knew that you had specs of gold, green, & gray in your eyes. They are so beautiful. They are perfect." I say.

He smiles and then he sighs. "Can I ask you something?" He asks.

"What?" I say as I start to trace patterns on his chest and curl up next to him.

"Do you have feelings for Railin? I know you said you didn't, but the way you guys look at each other makes me think otherwise. Did you ever have feelings for him?" He asks.

Wait what? That's crazy.

"No I don't have feelings for him, but I did once. The summer before 9th grade is when it started. I was so lost and he was my best friend. We talked constantly and he was so sweet. I was in love with Kenny back then and without even noticing it I feel in love with Railin." I say before taking a breath and continuing.

"It grew stronger the more we talked. I loved him all summer and then when school started we were in some classes together and that's when I finally realized what had happened to me. I feel in love with my best friend and didn't know for 3 months. The feelings faded after a while. I just stopped because it was ridiculous and in the same week that I stopped loving him I realized my feelings for you. It's so insane that you can fall in love with someone and not realize it for 9 years."

"I just remember laying in bed one night about to go to bed and you popped into my head. I got a big smile on my face and my heart filled with joy. Then I remembered all of our memories together. That's when I got the call from your mom. When you were in that car accident. I was so shocked I just ran to my car and drove to the hospital as quickly as I could. When I got there you were in surgery and I sat in the waiting room and fell apart."

"They told us how you were and that we could see you in 10 minutes. I remember that that was the longest 10 minutes of my life. When the doctor got back and told us the room number I sprinted down the hall, and when I saw you I.." I try to finish, but I burst into tears.

He wraps me in his arms. "Hey hey hey. Shush shush shush shush. It's ok, please don't cry baby. Don't cry please." He says. I sob and I try to pull myself together.

The memories are still fresh and open wounds. I shudder as I try to continue.

"I... I... I thought that... That you weren't... Going to make.... It. That you would leave me. It was so horrible to think that the moment I realized my feelings you were taken from me. I was so scared. That night I stayed with you and told you all my feelings which you never knew because you were unconscious."

"I just wish I would have been stronger. I... I don't know what would've happened to me if you hadn't made it. I probably wouldn't still be here. You were my everything Darin. You... You still are." I say with so much sincerity and honesty I could burst.

I smile at the end and stare into his amazing eyes.

He smiles and pulls me into him more tightly. "I will never leave you. I am so sorry I ever scared you. You're everything to me, my best friend, my other half, the better part of me, my lover, my girlfriend, you're everything. You're the only one who I can truly be open with." He says before closing his eyes & looking back at me with a smoldering gaze.

"You don't understand how important you are to me. When my family... When my family was shot you were the only person who truly understood what it felt like to loose everyone. You were the only one who knew what I felt. You were all I needed in that moment."

"I love you Hayden. I always have & I always will." He says.

My mind is completely shut down. I can't process a thought or conjure up a word.

He is getting more nervous about what he has said by the minute. I finally choke out.

"Ditto." I say.

Wow really Hayden? Ditto? You're such an idiot! How can you say that after he poured out his heart and soul to you? You're so weak! He is going to think you don't feel the same. I yell at myself.

To my surprise he smiles. Then he starts to chuckle.

Oh god now he is laughing at me and himself for saying all those very private yet amazingly wonderful and intimate things to me. Why did my mind only come up with ditto?!

"Are you ok?" He asks.

He's worried that I haven't said anything except for ditto and it's been almost 5 minutes.

"Yes, I just thought you were embarrassed by what you said because I responded with ditto. That isn't even a word to describe it. What you said is 100 percent without a doubt exactly how I feel about you. I love you more than anyone could ever love someone. You still continue to surprise me everyday. I love that you do that. It just strengthens my love more and more everyday." I say.

Wow I can't believe I just told him that. I'd never been able to express my feelings, but this way a breakthrough.

"I'm glad you feel the same way." He says as he pulls me in to kiss him. The kiss starts to intensify and before I can even comprehend we are thrown into a night of bliss.