Remember Savannah

#2 Funeral for a Sister

"There is a time for mourning," spoke the preacher at the funeral.

Over two hundred stood outside in the rain at the funeral for my sister Savannah. Two people were dead. A mother and daughter. I caught the notice of Steve who was weeping beyond belief for his wife and daughter. He held an umbrella. Steve was a great guy. Savannah had once told me, she knew Steve was the one when she was only fourteen. Steve was dating Nicole when he was fifteen, but Savannah never lost hope. They got married during college.

"Margo, I'm not sure what to do. He's dating Nicole. I already told him how I felt. I don't get it. I just don't get it."

She cried in my arms.

"Savannah, as much as I hate Nicole, he likes her. For whatever reason, he doesn't realize how great you are."

"But we've been friends since Kindergarten."

"Guys are stupid. You should know that by now."

Maybe guys were not the ones who were stupid after all. Savannah was never a great driver. Somehow, I was always impressed with Steve's alertness and how he paid attention to detail. Savannah was never like that. She was lucky to live this long.

"Savannah you slut!" shouted Nicole.

"I'm the slut for dating Steve?" At least I didn't have a miscarriage when I was thirteen."

Lunch and a show. This truly was the most interesting thing that had ever happened at lunch in my four years in high school. The food fight was nothing compared to the fight Savannah and Nicole would find their selves in. It was the first time Savannah used the F word. Naturally, both were suspended. Savannah was also grounded for two weeks. Our high school was usually quiet, and the football team was nothing to go crazy about. Yes, Savannah had a crazy personality.

With my mind drifting off a lot, it would be a fair assumption to say I wasn't paying much attention at the funeral. Why would I, when I lost someone close to me? The pain was unbearable. Here was a great girl who was now gone forever. Thankfully, the funeral eventually came to an end. My eyes caught the notice of Savannah's Best Friend Sabrina. Deep down, after reading the police report, I hated her with all my heart. She was the one responsible for her death. How could anyone forgive her? How could Steve forgive her? Not to mention, Sabrina killed my dog back in high school.

There I was back at home after a weekend at a Volleyball Tournament. Sabrina sat at the couch in the living room waiting for me. Savannah was probably in her room. When she saw me walk in, she began weeping.

"Girl, did you get my text?"

I stood there quiet.

"Where is he?"

She led me to the backyard where Jazz was buried.

"I'm sorry, he had parvo and I couldn't get here in time. I shouldn't have gone to the movies."

It was a painful memory. Maybe it wasn't completely her fault, but if she had been there and not at the movies, Jazz could have made it. When everyone left for the post-funeral lunch, I just stood there at their grave angry, sad, and confused. The rain had turned into sprinkles. Sabrina noticed and stood right next to me.

"Margo, I am so sorry for killing your sister. I know you're angry at me."

I just stood there not knowing what to say, afraid I would say something I might regret. Sabrina didn't care. She wanted an answer out of me. She kept blaming herself.

"What do you want me to say? They're both dead. You just had to show a picture of your boyfriend who I'm sure you won't be seeing a month from now. Was taking my first boyfriend wasn't enough for you?"

She put her hand on my shoulder. "I didn't mean to do either of those things."

I pushed her hand away. "But you did! You did. You killed two people."

She soon left after that. Everything was her fault.

Seventh grade is a crazy time for everyone especially when it comes to dating. With braces, I was lucky enough to date Eight Grader Ben Malone. I took up so much courage just to go and say hi to him. There he was five tables away in the cafeteria and after three months of us exchanging glances at each other and smiling, today was finally the day to talk to him. Savannah who had a class with him claimed that he drew a picture of me in his notebook holding a heart. Every day she was encouraging and told me to just go for it. That day, he was sitting alone at least for a few minutes. Taking a deep breath, I walked up to him, pulled up a chair and sat right next to him.

"Hello," I said. Was this real life? What was I doing?

"Hey," he said back smiling.

The rest was history. Within a week we were dating. We dated a total of a month. During that time, we took a walk to the park where he told me he could give me the moon. It was cheesy, but my heart melted. At the end of the month, Sabrina bought her first phone and was obsessed with texting. She texted up to a hundred people. Without paying any attention in the cafeteria and looking at her phone, she bumped right into Ben who spilled his tray and got ketchup on his shirt.

"I am so sorry," she was freaking out.

"It's fine." He stood up and wiped the ketchup off his shirt.

She took him to the bathroom to help him get the ketchup completely off his shirt. Apparently, they had a connection, because they spent the rest of the day after-school together. They were dating within three days. Savannah tried to comfort me, but it was hard when she spent all her time with Steve. One day, she invited me to come along to the movies with her and Steve. They were seeing some stupid comedy which they both thought was funny. The entire time I was with them in and out of the theatre, I said not one word because of my broken heart. Of course, I rarely ever spoke with Steve around.

Who was going to comfort me now that Savannah was gone? I continued to just stand there.

"Please come back. You can't be dead. You were going to name your second child after me. I was an aunt." Tears ran down my face. "Come back." She obviously wasn't coming back. "Come back!" I fell to the floor with nothing but my tears.

The preacher noticed me and stood where I laid.

"She was a wonderful sister, wasn't she?" he asked.

I said nothing.

"Look I know it's hard to lose a loved one. I know what you're going through. Just know that you can always talk to me. Why don't you walk with me to the funeral reception? It's only a couple of blocks."

At first, I said no, but I realized I didn't want to be alone here. I needed someone to talk to. I needed to express how I felt. I was the only one who felt this way. Naturally, I said nothing walking with the preacher to the reception. He was fine with that.

Is Sabrina truly at fault here? Let me know what you think.

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