Climax (JESSIE J)

Chapter 36

Prison cells are not comfortable places to sleep. They're not comfortable places at all. I remember when I was younger watching programs like "The Bill" and wondering what it would be like to stay over night in a prison cell. When that police officer comes into your school when you're 10 and tells you how horrible prison is and how it can ruin your life but they don't tell you how much your mind wanders when you're as isolated as you are in a cell all night. There's not much to think about when you're in there, apart from the reason why you're there. You can only spend so long counting the cieling tiles.

I sobered up pretty quickly once the door closed. It was dark for such a long time, with only a strip of light from the moon, that I was relieved when the sun rose even though the light hurt my head. What felt about an hour after I'd arrived the consequences of what I'd just done came tumbling into my head like bricks falling off a building, I realised that I'd ruined everything. I'd broken my promise to Jessie again. I told her that she could trust me, that I could handle it because I thought I could. From how I'd reacted last night, I obviously couldn't. I hated myself for what I'd just done and for once I was thankful for the big, black cloud that hung over the events of the club. For once I was thankful that I couldn't fully remember what I'd done because torturing yourself is tiring. I tried imagining Jessie as anything but angry but that's the only outcome I could think of. She would be crushed.

Thinking of her made my stomach lurched and I threw myself at the small metal toilet in the corner of the cell. All my pain and regret pushed the bile up from my stomach but nothing came out. Of course it wouldn't, I hadn't eaten since yesterday lunch time. When I finally realised that even being sick wouldn't settle my stomach I lent back against the cool tile wall which felt oddly comfortable against my hot skin. My head was still spinning when I heard the lock turn in the door, I squinted up to the lanky police officer standing in the doorway.

"Looks like it's your lucky day sunshine," his voice was strangely gruff for his appearance, "looks like someone's come to bail you out"

I jumped up quickly, a little too quickly, and staggered towards the door. My left side ached as I pulled my dressed down and my neck felt stiff and tender from lying on the bench all night. I tried reply but my throat felt sore. I wreaked of disappointment.

The officer's grip on my arm didn't loosen until I'd signed a piece of paper listing the terms of my release- basically that I couldn't attack anyone else- and I was handed my belongings from last night. I turned around and saw Holly standing by the door, her arms crossed over her chest and holding a pair of converse in her hand. I half ran over to her and through my arms around her, she chuckled quietly and held me at arms length.

"Kayla, no offence but you stink," she screwed her face up, "come on let's get you home"

I slipped the converse on and we walked to the car. The cool air was suffocating to me, there was so much of it after spending 12 hours with so little.

"Holly did you bail me out?" I asked as she pulled out of te police station, I watched it fade away in the side mirror of the car, vowing never to return.

"No Jessie did, well she didn't exactly have to, she got the man to drop the charges against you," Holly said, "it was quite scary actually, I've never seen her like that before,"

"What do you mean?" I asked, honestly afraid of the answer,

"Let's just say I've never seen her use her fame for anything other than the greater good. She must love you, Kayla" Holly replied, showing me a sympathetic smile,

"How is she?" Again, I didn't want to know the answer,

"Angry, disappointed, confused.. I honestly don't know babe, I couldn't read her emotions. But, yeah, I wouldn't want to be you right now " she laughed, avoiding eye contact with me, "I'm taking you to hers by the way, I hope you don't mind. She, um, she wanted to see you."

I blew out a shaking breath. Jessie. I don't think I'd every been as scared as I was now, and that's saying something from someone who's suffered with anxiety attacks throughout her teenhood. Holly was trying her best to take my mind off of everything but honestly I wasn't listening to what she was saying. She just background to the noise in my head, shouting every possible sinario to me at 100 miles per hour.

The car journey wasn't nearly as long enough and before I knew it we were sat outside Jessie's house. Holly shut the car off and shot me a worried look. I tried to smile reassuringly at her but even I knew that it hadn't remotely touched my eyes.

"You have my number, yeah?" Holly said, her voice panicked, "Jessie won't be back until around 6, she's working so you have time to sort your self out," she looked me up and down and gestured to my face, of course, I hadn't had a chance to inspect the aftermath of last night, "good luck Kayla, I hope it all goes ok"

"Me too, thank you Holly, for everything. I really appreciate it," I smiled at her, grabbed my stuff and jumped out of the car.

Holly sped out Jessie's gates and down the road away from her house, dragging my last shred of hope behind her.

I guess it's time to face the music.

I felt bad leaving it like I did because I won't be able to update for a while because SANDOWN and holiday ahahhaa, not sure whether this is a better clff hanger you can decide that one ..