Climax (JESSIE J)

Chapter 25

JESSIE POV

"- and then she completely embarrassed herself in front of our whole class and everyone was laughing and... and-" Kayla laughed nervously. I rested my hand on her thigh in the back of a cab to try and calm her down. Her breathing was erratic and she was white as a sheet. I chewed nervously on my bottom lip knowing that I was the reason she was feeling like this. Maybe I was making the wrong chose in forcing her to go see a shrink. I should have listened to my mum, maybe I was pushing her away by pushing her into this. All I wanted was for her to go to one session. I knew that counselling helped me when I was in and out of hospital so maybe talking about it all might help her?

I lent across the seats and kissed her on the cheek. Kayla's smile was tired she and pushed her cheek into my lips. I stroked her hair and she lay on my chest.

"I'm scared Jessie" she whispered,

"I know, I'm sorry"

"Why are you sorry?"

I was quiet for a minute, "I don't want to lose you, I want to help you, you know that don't you?"

Kayla pulled her head up and looked me in the eye, "I know. I know I have to do this and in a way I love you even more for making me, I know I need help but I'm too scared to ask for it on my own so thank you" she smiled, I blew out a breath of relief and Kayla scoffed, "But there's also a part of me that hates you, like how dare you do this to me?!"

I lent across the seats and brushed my lips against hers softly, "Well I guess I'm going to have to win the part over" and I kissed her again.

I hated myself even more when were in the physcatrists office. It was so dingy and depressing and Kayla was shaking like a leaf. She held on tightly to my hand and bounced her legs up and down furiously. At exactly 4pm a small, plump woman popped her head round the door and smiled at us.

"Kayla Johnson?" She asked, I nodded and helped kayla up, we both started to walk towards the office when she stopped me.

"I would like to speak to Kayla on her own? Is that ok?"

Kayla glanced at me and the look on her face broke my heart. I stroked her cheek and dropped her hands, "I'll get right here when you get back ok baby?"

Kayla kissed me square on the lips and nodded slowly. She walked timidly into the woman's office and the door closed behind them.

When I had called for the appointment they said it would be over an hour long so I decided to go to the shopping complex opposite the building to get something for Kayla for being so amazing. And I knew that if I sat in the reception for longer than 5 minutes I probably would go stir crazy.

In the Mall I walked into Valentino and milled over to the swimwear section. The swimming pool in our hotel was on the roof so you had an amazing few of New York City from it. I wanted Kayla to be able to enjoy herself and not worrying about her scars and she wouldn't be able to do that in a bikini. Flicking through the bikini's and two pieces I heard a couple of teenage girls giggling behind me. I turned to look at them and they blushed hard. I smiled to myself as I heard the mutter again. I was used to this sort of thing in the UK and it sometimes got annoying because you know, every now and again all you want to do it pop down to CO-OP to get some milk and it becomes like a secret agent mission hiding from everyone but here; it made my heart swell. It was my ultimate dream to crack the US and when I met people who knew I was and had heard my music, it meant I was one step closer to cracking that dream. I had actually been offered the chance to tour with Robin Thicke earlier this year in America, I hadn't told anyone really because it didn't seem like the right time. I knew that touring America would be the best way to get my face out there but honestly, as much as I wanted to crack it, I wanted to write new music first.

One of the girls tapped me on the shoulder, "Excuse me, Hi, sorry, are you erm Jessie J?" She asked with a thick Newyorker accent.

I smiled broadly, "Yeah I am, hi!"

The girls squealed, "Oh my god! I love you so much, can we get a picture please?" The taller girl asked, fumbling with her phone. She set it to front camera and I smiled into it. She took a couple and then put her phone away. "Thank you so much! You're so perfect"

I rolled my eyes and smiled, "No babe, nobody's perfect I promise, I have my flaws as well as everyone else" I said honestly, thinking of Kayla in the doctor's office. I snapped back into reality and took a stunning crimson swimming costume off the hanger. It was tight fitting and had a flowered pattern up the sides, the neckline was meshed and the back was cut out into shreds. Just picturing kayla in it made my mouth water.

I said goodbye to the girls, bought the swimming costume, all $300 of it and wandered idily back over to the doctors. On the ground floor of the building we were in was a Starbucks so I bought us both a chocolate frappe milkshake and a brownie. I had 5 minutes to spare. I sipped my frappe nervously and tucked the valentino bag into my prada handbag- i wanted it to be a surprise. The door opened at 5 and Kayla came out, her cheeks were puffed and her ears bright red, like they always were when she cried but she was smiling. She beamed at me when she saw me sat there and the woman behind her smiled too.

"So you've got Dr Cridland's number for when you get back home. I feel like today went really well." She said to Kayla, who was hugging my arm.

"I found it really useful, thank you so much" Kay gushed, we said our goodbyes and left the office.

"I got you this" I said, passing her the star bucks cup. She sipped it while we walked hand in hand down the road, we walked in a comfortable silence until we got to central park and sat under a tree. Kayla cuddled up to me and rested her head on my chest. I slung my arm over her and nuzzled my cheek into her head. She sighed with satisfaction and kissed my chin. A woman pushing a buggy strolled past and a 5 year old boy followed her on a scooter, he shouted to his mum to watch him as he whizzed past her. I felt Kayla laugh.

"Do you want kids Jess?" She asked, looking up to me.

"One day, but right now I have no time" I said honestly, "When I do have a baby I want to be able to be with it all the time, to love it and make memories, not have a nanny do it for me"

Kayla looked back out at the park, "what about getting married?"

I smirked and nudged her, "Why? are you asking?"

She sat up and pushed me over, "I thought you were the man, you're the one that has to propose"

I jumped up and pulled her up, "you'll be lucky, I'm quite the catch"

"Alright Mrs Big Knickers," she said rolling her eyes, my phone buzzed and I had a text from Holly, organising clubbing for tonight. I wasn't a big fan of clubs or drinking but if Kayla wanted to go then i'd go.

"Babe?" I asked tucking my phone back in my pocket, "Holly wants us to go to a bar tonight, you up for it?"

Kayla's face lit up, "Boozy night in the big apple... Ok!" She grinned, she grabbed my hand and almost sprinted out of the park, "Come on Jess, lets get readddyyyyy!"

She hailed a cab and climbed in frantically, I giggled at her idiocy and realised that actually, maybe, everything would be ok.

Just want to say a massive thank you to all the people who are reading my little story. It means the world that you're taking the time out of your day to read the chapters and vote etc etc. Your comments and messages really make me smile and keeps me writing. If there is any thing you want me to put in this fic or any direction you want it to go then let me know and I'll write away :) Thank you again, it means a lot to me that you're reading :) xxxxx