Climax (JESSIE J)

Chapter 10

Ready for some drama??

"It's all going really well!" Jessie beamed. Her imagine slightly blurred and voice crackled. She looked really happy and refreshed. The sun blaring outside of her studio window contrasted the dullness of the UK daytime weather. Jealous.

"I'm glad, Jess," I said, slightly bitterly.

Jessie babbled on for about 20 minutes about how amazing it was to be in the studio again. Admittedly, I wasn't entirely interested or even listening to most of it but I "ummed" and "wowed" in all the right places to give the mirage of a someone who was actually listening.

"How are you holding out without me?" Jessie giggled, winking at me.

"Devastated, my whole world is falling apart." I retorted sarcastically.

"Thought as much," she smirked, "how's Maisy?"

"Hormonal," I scoffed, "but she's okay, I'm dropping her off at my grams tomorrow for the rest of the week so you'll have me all to yourself when you get back"

Jessie beamed, "looking forward to it,"

We were quiet for a moment, not really knowing what to say. I yawned loudly. Quite rude I know but these late nights were starting to get to me. Jessie could only chat dinner time LA time which was nearly midnight here, a good 4 hours after my bedtime... Joking obviously.

"Are you tired baby?" Jessie asked, her tone symathetic. I nodded sleepily.

"I think I'm going to go to bed jess, I've got an early start." I mumbled, my eyes dropping.

Jessie laughed quietly and looked at her hands, "I'll see you wednesday babe. I miss you"

"Love you Jess, have fun"

The video call disconnected and I closed my laptop violently. I missed Jessie so much it made my heart hurt. I missed her so much that it made my head hurt too; I've known Jessie for, what, nearly 3 months and I've fallen so hard for her. It's scary. Scary because I've never been able to trust someone quickly, I'm a harsh judge of character. Scary because there is so much of me she doesn't know yet and scary because we love each other. Being in love is scary isn't it? It's terrifying, you'd lay down your whole life for someone you love without a second thought. "Why did you take the bullet?" "Because I love her." I spent 20 years of my living 'alone' and now, after 3 months the thought of life without her... See there's that pain in my heart again.

At about 3am, after over anaylsing the meaning of love and life and wondering who the first person was to discover cow's milk and what on earth were they doing to that cow to get it, I finally drifted of into a disturbed sleep.

******

After dropping Maisy off at my Gram's- where I basically ate a whole lemon drizzle cake and drank a whole pot of tea- I was sat in my living room with Harriet. My dad was out doing god know's what and god knows I don't care so we had the place to ourselves.

"I feel like I should tell her though, H. I feel like i can"

"Take Jessie with you maybe? Introduce her as your girlfriend."

I'd decided on the hour long drive back that i wanted to tell Gram about Jessie and about my sexuality. Although I had know who I was and how I felt for years I thought I should wait to see if i ever dated a girl. I mean if I had gotten a boyfriend instead of A Jessie there would be no reason to tell anyone about my sexuality. But I did have A Jessie and I wanted to tell Grams about her. But she's like a mum to me and I couldn't bare her hating me for being in love with a girl.

"Kayla, I wouldn't worry too much. Grams loves you so much. I reckon she loves me more but..." Harriet laughed, it was a running joke that my Grams loved Harriet more because every time she saw her she showered her the praise and food...

"She's not going to mind, she's just going to happy that you're finally happy"

I looked at the bit of thread I was fiddling with on my top, "I just wish it was just normal to be in love with a girl. I feel normal and act like a normal person, don't O? I would have to make it such a big thing if I had a boyfriend so why do I have to announce it to the world about who I am. Why should I have to tell everyone, 'I like girls, I have a girlfriend and oh hey, i'm a lesbian!" I practically shouted.

From the corner of the room I heard a loud smash as a photo frame fell off the wall and shattered on the floor. My dad was leaning against the wall, barely able to hold himself up. He had a bottle of vodka in his hand and his eyes were swimming in his thick skull. He took a large swig of the bottle and looked from me to Harriet back to me. His eyes travelled up and down my body making my skin crawl and I cowered into the sofa. His face twisted into a venomous snarl, he took one staggered step towards me and pointed at my with the half empty bottle, some of the contents sloshing on to the floor.

"You're a lesbian?" He growled, his empty hand clenching into a fist, "you're a fucking dyke?!"

Big up @HighOnJessie for featuring me in her story :) Go give Battlefield a read x